Page 139 of Pretend Girlfriend

Theo: Fake drinks. Fake relationships. Next you’re going to tell me your boobs are fake.

Me: All natural, baby.

Landon: One thing that wasn’t fake was the punch you threw. That shit hurt, dude!

Theo: My bad. I was trying to pull my punches but you kind of leaned into it.

Landon: I’m not good at fighting, fake or otherwise.

Theo: My jaw says otherwise.

Austin: Oh shit. People are responding to the group text.

I shared a look with Landon, then switched over to the giant group text that he had started.

Landon: Hey, everyone. Joanna and I value our privacy, but everything has been thrown out in the open, so I wanted to take a moment to explain everything. Joanna and I have been dating for two months. Although it’s getting pretty serious, neither of us is ready to date exclusively. Both of us have been free to see other people. All of this has happened with each other’s consent. I’m sorry you all found out in such a public, dramatic way.

Marisa: OMG I had no idea!

Chloe: Then why did Landon seem upset when he found out?

Landon: I didn’t know she was involved with Theo. I was surprised by that.

Me: We had sort of a don’t-ask-don’t-tell agreement regarding other people we were dating. But since Theo was part of the wedding party, I should have told Landon sooner.

Landon: It’s all right now, though. Sorry for letting my temper get the best of me on the beach earlier.

Clark: Wow. Just wow.

Wanda: I’m so sorry! I didn’t know!

Uncle Robert: That’s going to leave a mark!

Bradyn: NOT THE TIME, UNCLE ROBERT.

Marisa: I’m sorry the details of your relationship became so public. That never should have happened.

Peter: Wanda definitely should have talked to you about it privately, rather than blurting it out while we were trying to take family photos.

Wanda: How was I supposed to know?

Theo: Glad we’re all good. Sorry for ruining the honeymoon, everyone.

Austin: Ditto.

Bradyn: You guys didn’t ruin anything.

Wanda: IT’S NOT MY FAULT! I was trying to be a good friend!

Me: We don’t need to play the blame game. Let’s just all go to bed and enjoy our last day in Jamaica tomorrow!

Danicka: Cheers to that.

“I kind of feel bad throwing Wanda under the bus,” I said.

“I don’t,” Landon replied. “If she had just come talk to us privately, we could have avoided a lot of unnecessary pain. Instead, she made her accusation in front of everyone. She wanted drama, so here it is.”

I read the texts a second time, then a third. “You know, I think this plan might actually work.”

---