Page 138 of Pretend Girlfriend

When we reached our suite, Landon stretched out in bed and began formulating a message in his Notes app. While he did that, I sat cross-legged next to him and sent a different text.

Me: Okay. Here’s what’s up.

Austin: There she is.

Theo: When you weren’t answering our texts, we started to panic. We’ve been hiding in our rooms since the fight.

Austin: The fallout from the fight was… dramatic. Nobody knows what’s going on, Joanna.

Me: Landon and I have a plan. Say hi, Landon.

Landon: Hi, Landon.

Austin: Glad y’all can joke around while everything else is chaos.

Theo: So, what’s the plan? Are you going to tell the truth?

Austin: I hope not. Hiring a random girl to be your girlfriend is awfully embarrassing.

Theo: Right?

Me: Landon is sending out a mass text to everyone at the resort with us. We’re going to say that Landon and I aren’t exclusive. We’re both dating other people while dating each other. Like an open relationship before we agree to be exclusive. That’s the best way for everyone to save face.

Austin: Polyamory is trendy right now.

Theo: No kidding. One of my patients is a 52 year old woman. As soon as the kids went off to college, she and her husband opened up their relationship. Now she has two boyfriends on the side, and he has a girlfriend.

Austin: Sounds confusing.

Theo: That’s the crazy part! Somehow, it works! They’re all happier than they’ve ever been!

Me: Let’s not get carried away. Our story is supposed to be simple. Landon and I are dating, and seeing other people on the side until our relationship gets serious. How’s that sound? Can you guys agree to that?

Theo: Sure. We’ve got the easy parts.

Austin: No problem.

Landon: Email sent. I’m going to take another edible and deal with this in the morning.

Theo: Oh shit! Where’d you get edibles?

Me: We went into Falmouth to get away from all the drama. Also, Landon and I slept together.

Austin: !!!!!

Theo: Oh daaaaaaaaamn

Austin: Welcome to the Joanna party, Landon. Grab a beer and pick a hole. She’s got three to choose from.

Me: OMG.

Landon: Ahahahahahahaha

Theo: LOL

Austin: I don’t really have a filter right now. I had a single glass of whiskey and now I’m drunk.

Me: I guess that’s our fault for lowering your tolerance with fake drinks all week.

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