Page 99 of Blinded By Hate

No one is there to hold me or protect me from the dark.

No one is there to silence the demons in my head.

Forty-Two

Rowan

Present

I’ve always been the big brother in the family.

I’m used to the role and to always having to be the fixer in situations because that’s what I’ve been doing since I got into this whole certain business that I’m currently running.

But with Hayden, my little brother, it’s always been different with him.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s the youngest of all the siblings, maybe it’s because he and I are full brothers and not half like the rest of my siblings, but all I know is that I've always been closer and more protective of Hayden.

He’s destructive and impulsive. Completely different from me who is in control at all times.

Ever since I met him, I just keep learning new things about him, like how he has a short temper. I know his trainer taught him how to control it and he does it well when it comes to fighting.

Fighting is the only way for Hayden to let those demons lose.

Everyone needs an outlet. Fighting just happens to be Hayden’s.

My eyes find his figure at the bar. He is sitting on a stool with a crystal glass in front of him. It’s half empty and looks like an old fashioned.

I sit next to him but he keeps his eyes on the drink. He doesn’t look drunk, plus I’ve been watching him for a good thirty minutes and after a few sips he just stopped and started to stare at the old fashioned instead of drinking it.

“About time you stopped being a stalker,” he mumbles before taking a sip of his drink.

“Well, you were kind of just sitting and staring so I thought I’d figure out what’s going on.”

Hayden pushes the drink away and leans in his chair instead of resting his arms on the bar. He looks tired, like his mind has been running 100 mph for the past who knows how long.

Overthinking causes a lot of damage. It can make you drained and tired without you actually even doing anything.

Your mind constantly running like that is kind of like a car. Eventually it gets tired and runs out of oil which makes it all suddenly stop.

He doesn’t look at me as he says, “I have a kid and I didn’t even know.”

I can’t help but widen my eyes a little because I didn’t see that coming.

I knew about Jaclyn King and her issues with my brother but I didn’t keep an eye on her because I wanted to respect my brother's relationship with her.

But after knowing this piece of information, I should have.

“Don’t know what to say?” he says, downing the rest of the old fashioned and then slamming the glass on the table. He looks at me, his jaw clenched and rage filling his eyes. “Yea, that was my reaction except I was a lot more pissed off. Thing was though, I wasn’t allowed to act out and fucking punch something because then that would have scared her away.” Even though Hayden is older now and a lot more responsible and controlled, he has more anger in him. He just knows how to control it at certain times. “I have a fucking son and I didn’t even know.”

“How old?”

Hayden laughs dryly. “Fuck if I know.” Hayden shakes his head lightly, still staring at the glass. “Hayden Junior Night. That’s his full name.”

“Want me to get information on him?”

Hayden looks at me, no he’s glaring at me. “He’s my son. I shouldn’t have to ask you to get information on him.”

“How’d you find out?'“

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