Page 80 of The Sidekick

His lips slam into mine in a kiss hard enough to force my head back. When he draws away, I stare at him with wide eyes, taking in his absolute rage at my words. “You are not something to play with. You’re mine, and I’m yours. We’ll figure it out.”

I can’t let him do this, right?

“How long have you two been together, Max?” As I ask the question, I realize I don’t know anything about either of them except their jobs. Oh my gosh, and I gave him a hand job.

His head tilts with his confusion as my face heats to an unbearable degree.

“Um, maybe we should… slow down?” I cringe as I ask.

“Slow down?” His eyebrows rise far enough to almost meet his hairline.

“We don’t even know each other,” I explain. “We worked together, but it’s not like we talked.”

“You talked all the time,” his lips tilt into a smirk.

“But I don’t know anything about you, Max,” I insist. It’s a given that he probably knows my whole life story. I’d probably tell a stranger…. Wait, I did that too. Jeez.

He blinks down at me in confusion, but his hands don’t stop the gentle strokes up and down my back.

“Ok,” he sighs and looks over my head at the fridge as his brow furrows. “Ok. What do you want to know?”

I come up blank and stare at him with my mouth open stupidly.

He chuckles and rubs his nose against mine affectionately. “Let’s see. Trevor and I met when I was seventeen. He was best friends with a guy I knew, but we’d never met. He’s older than me, so we ran in different crowds. Anyway, the guy convinced Trev that I had stolen some money from him, a total fucking lie, and he wanted to get it back. Here I am, pissing myself because some guy that looks like he chews nails for breakfast is asking me about some money I didn’t have.” He breaks into a light laugh, his eyes distant as he remembers. His face has softened from its usual frowning into the slightest smile as he talks, and I feel my heart fall for this man, even though I know nothing about him. So I listen as he continues with a tiny smile.

“Instead of beating the shit out of me, he asks me if I have it, and since I’m an ass, I started an argument. By the time it was all done, Trev said he would just pay the guy with his own money, so I’d shut up.”

That sounds like something the person I thought I knew would do.

“So a year later I’m looking for work. College wasn’t for me, and I needed money, so I figured, why not a bar? Meet chicks, drink on the job, that kind of shit. Totally not what I got. Trev already worked there as a bartender. I’d never been attracted to a guy, but it was just… perfect. But he had a girlfriend, so there was no way.”

That sounds familiar. I wonder what happened to her? Did they try to become a trio as well?

Max’s face darkens as something in his memory stirs up some anger. “He got into an accident, which messed up his leg, from hip to ankle. They broke up pretty quick after.”

I duck my head into his chest as I piece a few things together. Maybe his leg is as much of an insane rage trigger as my seeing food. That would explain a lot of things. Does understanding equal forgiveness? No, it doesn’t. I’m not going to ask Max anything about it. If his boss wanted me to know anything, he would tell me. It sounds like he has a much more mature outer shell to repel people, and I’m not sure if I want to get past it. If I don’t try, I might as well kiss Max goodbye now.

“I was trying to help him with his leg that day, and he blew up,” I confess and shake my head at how stupid it all sounds. His rage and my freak-out were not a good mix. I can’t see him trying to improve himself if he hasn’t before. At least I’m getting help for my issues, but I’m nowhere near strong enough yet to go head-to-head with him. I can admit that.

Max releases a pent-up breath and nods. “He told me that. He didn’t tell me what he said to make you run, though.”

“He said I was for you, and he wasn’t interested in being coddled.”

Max leans back so I can see his frown. “Ok, he told me that too. But why did you run?”

I press my lips together tightly as I try to figure out how much I feel comfortable telling him. What if he agrees with Satan? What if he changes his mind and realizes I’m just a sidekick and not worth the effort?

I try to calm myself down before I have a panic attack. Those aren’t fun, and I’d like to avoid them as much as possible. I’m jumping too far ahead here. Just because we’re both interested does not mean it’s happily ever after. I can hear that thought in Dr. Robinson’s voice now. I can handle this. I can!

“Why didn’t you discuss this with me before we got… intimate? Then we could have all been on the same page.” From everything I’ve read about interactions with a submissive, there need to be rules laid out beforehand so I won’t get hurt, just like in that situation. I’m partially at fault for that, but wouldn’t it be common decency to lay it out there?

Max’s face turns red as his eyes slide away from mine. “That’s my fault. I tend to push things faster than I should. Trev usually keeps me in line, and I’ve relied too much on him. I didn’t think he would let it go that far, but I couldn’t resist when it did. It felt perfect, and I wanted it so bad that I didn’t consider the consequences. I swear to you, if I had known you would run, I never would have-”

“No,” I interrupt him and wait until I have his attention again. I squirm as his eyes meet mine. “I wanted what happened, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. We just should have talked. I feel really naive about most of it, but not that.”

“Communication is the only way this kind of thing works,” he agrees. It sounds like he’s quoting someone.

“I don’t think we should have any kind of agreement right now.” When he goes to protest, I step back. “I can’t even look at… anyway, I’m just saying it will take me a little time before I can actually hear whatever he has to say. You can learn a little patience, and he can get over himself.”

---