Page 116 of The Bridges I've Burned

“There was a brief phase in college,” I answered, shuddering at the memory. “Not a great experience. Probably why I don’t normally go for the tattooed, bad-boy look now that I’m thinking about it.”

“Until Zander?”

“Yeah.” I let out a little sigh.

I was starting to worry that I was seriously monopolizing the conversation. Like, shouldn’t we be talking about Marin? And wedding shit?

“She likes him.” Marin beamed, clearly not upset with the conversation. “We’re totally gonna be sisters again.”

“I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves,” I argued.

“Do you think this could be something that lasts beyond the wedding?” Millie asked.

She seemed highly interested in the topic of me and Zander. Maybe she just loved a good gossip story.

“Maybe,” I answered. “I mean, I want it to. It’s just?—”

“What?” Marin’s hand found mine, her brows all scrunched up in concern.

“It’s not something we’ve really discussed.”

“Like, at all?”

Well, he did make that comment about going with me to my parents’ today, but I’m pretty sure he was joking. Wasn’t he?

“I mean, a little,” I answered. “In the general let’s just give this a try and see where it leads sense.”

“But you haven’t discussed what happens when you go home and he goes…” Millie paused. “Where is he even going?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, hating how twisted my gut felt at the mere thought of him leaving. “He told us at the cookout that he’s signed on to do a tour starting in the fall, but can’t say who it’s for.”

“Hmm,” was all Millie had to say about that.

“You care for him,” Molly stated, her eyes softening as she looked my way.

“I think he’s a really nice guy.” I deflected, looking away. “But we’ve barely known each other for two and a half weeks. It’s too soon to know what I feel.”

Marin snorted, making me glance over at her.

“What?”

“It’s just that a year ago, when I was falling for Macon after just a few short weeks, I said something very similar. I distinctly remember someone telling me that there were no rules when it came to falling in love. In fact, I believe she also said that if she were lucky enough to find love, she’d run toward it with open arms.”

“No offense, but she sounds kind of like a cunt,” I said dryly, hating myself for my own stupid advice. “Besides, that advice was for you. Not me.”

“What can’t it be for you?” she argued.

“Because—”

Because I don’t deserve it.

Because I’m not worth it.

Because I’m scared…

All my insecurities and negative thoughts came rushing to the surface, and I felt panicky. What if I didn’t know how to love someone? What if this ended up being some epic failure and he left, like everyone else?

“I know the word love sounds intimidating,” Cora offered. “Especially when you’re talking about a person you just met. So, let’s replace it with the word connection. You and Zander sound like you have a real connection, and something like that is rare. Don’t deny yourself the chance to explore it because of fear. Believe us all when we say, we’ve all been there.”

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