Page 25 of Dark Cravings

“Call us or text us,” Shelby said, a sadness in her voice. “We just want to know what happened.”

“Don’t let things end like this. We can work through whatever happened.”

I sighed and deleted the message. I couldn’t explain what happened to them when I didn’t even understand it myself. I loved what happened but I was so overwhelmed by it. Not wanting to leave them hanging entirely, I went back into the chat and paused with my fingers over the keyboard.

Kenley: I need time.

I closed out of the chat, muted my phone, and tossed it on my nightstand. I wasn’t ready to talk and I didn’t want to see what else they might say. I made my way to the kitchen and popped a pod into the Keurig. Settling on the couch a few minutes later, coffee in hand, I thought back to the night before. I had been fine during and after play. I had definitely been into the sex with them. Hell, I came harder than I ever had before. It was after I started having problems.

I hadn’t even been sure I wanted to sleep with them. I got into my own head and didn’t know how I had just slept with two people at once. I never thought something like that would happen.

Could I be with two people? Did I want to be?

I spent all morning with thoughts about the night running around and around in my head and was no closer to figuring it out. All I knew was that they were becoming super important to me and I needed to get my shit together. I had to decide what I wanted to do. I struggled with my thoughts for almost a week before I finally reached out to them. For the first couple of days, they had tried to give me time. Then the calls and messages of concern started. They never seemed to get angry about it. They only seemed to be worried about them. I wasn’t sure what to say to them but I had to try, for all our sakes.

Kenley: Hi. Can we talk?

Shelby: Oh my God! Kenley, we’ve been so worried about you.

Thomas: We’re so happy to hear from you. Are you okay?

Kenley: I’m not really sure but I think we need to talk. Can you guys come over?

Shelby: I can be there in a half hour.

Thomas: I need about forty-five to get there.

Kenley: Okay, I’ll see you both soon.

I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say to them, I just knew I needed to try. Maybe they could help me figure out what went wrong. Thomas must have broken every speed limit to get here because he actually arrived before Shelby. He leaned in to kiss my cheek, stopping short as I stiffened.

“Sorry,” he muttered, standing straight again.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I feel like I’m going to need something strong to get through this conversation. Do you have anything like that?”

“I have a brand new bottle of whiskey. Come on through to the living room and I’ll grab it.”

He settled onto the couch while I poured three glasses and brought them in. The doorbell rang and I moved to let Shelby in. She looked awful. She clearly hadn’t been sleeping well and I hated that it was probably because of me. I led her into the living room and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

“Oh, thank God,” she mumbled, grabbing her drink and tossing it back in one shot.

I looked at her, eyes wide and poured another for her. Thomas and I were more controlled, sipping our drinks slowly. I took a deep breath and met their eyes.

Here goes.

“I’m not sure what to say to you both but I’ll start with apologizing. I shouldn’t have run out like I did.”

“That’s okay, we—” Thomas started.

“Then why did you?” Shelby interrupted, tears in her eyes.

“I freaked out! Maybe I should have stayed to talk to you both but all I could think of was getting out of that room. I had to think and I couldn’t do that with you two.”

“I understand,” Thomas said kindly. “Why didn’t you tell us that? Instead, we worried about you all week, wondering what we’d fucked up.”

“Did we pressure you?” Shelby asked. “I thought that you were into it. Oh my God, I?—”

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