“Why would this worry her?” Drak demands. “There is no accept or unaccept. I take you there, and it is your home. This is how it is done. What is worrying your minds?”
I shoot Caleb a warning glance, but my brother doesn’t care. He is done with being cautious. He wants a life outside of all of this death and destruction.
“Your planet needs more women, not men, for one thing,” he drawls. “But she’s mostly concerned that I’ll be as outcasted there as I’ve been my entire life here. Because I’m gay.”
Drak furrows his brows. “Why should this mean outcast?”
“Because it always has for me.” Caleb snorts humorlessly. “You could say our family didn’t exactly have room for me being me, man. Anna is worried your planet may be the same.”
I can see the gears turning in Drak’s head expressed on his face, but he remains confused.
“Do you even know what gay means, Drak?”
“He wishes to mate with males,” he says simply.
Sometimes Drak is too pure. He’s a fucking Alien Warrior, and he still doesn’t have an evil bone in his body. He can’t process the idea of being discriminated against because of who you love, and I can’t even blame him for it. His planet isn’t like ours, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to just trust that Caleb will be accepted. I need assurances, and a lot of them.
Fuck, why didn’t I prepare myself for this?
“Why is this something to worry about?”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “Do Aprix males mate with each other? Isn’t your whole mating thing about making babies?”
“Some males mate,” he says, like he doesn’t understand why this is even a conversation. “I have been to planets where males only mate males. The same with females,” he tacks on. “Cay-leb can mate whoever he wishes?—”
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Drak?—”
“Anna,” Caleb cuts in, his voice firm. “We’re going.”
“Yes,” Drak agrees with him, his voice harder than it’s ever been before. “If you wish to push me away, you may do it from the safety of my planet.”
He looks like he might cry.
I didn’t mean to imply I was leaving him!
Oh, god, what have I done?
“Drak,” I try again.
“Get on the ship, Anna,” he commands, leaving no room for argument.
He used my name. He didn’t… shit.
“Come on,” Caleb encourages, taking me by my elbow. “Let’s go.”
My stomach feels like it’s going to dissolve, burning with acid-like guilt.
Maybe Drak is better off without me because I can’t seem to stop hurting him.
27
Drak
Secluding myself with L’ore in the control room, I pretend that I am paying more attention to our flight path than I truly am. My body aches like I have been in a long and hard sparring match. I wish that I was tired so that I may sleep and ignore the feeling, but I am not. I am perfectly awake and properly sullen.
We still have some time before we land, and I have not seen my mate since demanding she board the ship. The other hu-nim females have tried to speak with me, but I have been pretending to be much too busy to do so.
Even though B’rook gave me a frown when I avoided her, I did not say a thing. I do not wish to update her about my relationship with An-nana. She will be upset, and I am in no state to spread my foul mood.