Page 163 of Devious Knight

“Sosredotoch'tes' i skontsentriruytes'!” Thorne yells, telling me in Russian to focus and concentrate.

We’re in the training ring again. The sun has barely come up.

With time against me, I should be well versed in the elements of focus and concentration by now, but my mind is a bog of shit.

It’s been three days since I lost Isabelle, and my life has been hell.

I grip my staff, feeling the smooth wood cool against my palms.

Trying to focus, I lash out at Thorne, but he meets my blow with his staff. The room echoes with the rhythmic clack of wood striking wood, each impact sending vibrations through my arms.

We circle each other, every movement deliberate, testing, waiting. I lunge forward, the tip of my staff whistling through the air. I think I’m going to hit him, but Thorne deflects it with a swift upward block.

Without hesitation, I pivot, spinning the staff behind me and bringing it around in a wide arc aimed at his side. Once again, he counters, twisting around to parry my strike. Then he knocks me off my feet, and I fall flat on my fucking back.

Shit. Look at me. I may as well fucking stay here.

What is the point of getting up? With the system Alek has set up, Nikoli could come for me any day now.

By midnight tonight, he will have suddenly, unexplainably lost fifty million dollars. Then, in a few days, everything will be gone.

The war I started will begin, and look at me on the ground. If I can’t beat Thorne, how am I supposed to kill a warlord?

“Get the fuck up,” Thorne barks.

I flip myself up and get ready to fight again, but he drops the staff and throws a punch in my face.

“What the hell was that for?” I hold my jaw and wince, glaring at him. It grates on my fuckling nerves that I can’t take him down. He’d be on the floor already picking up his teeth.

“Really? You have to ask me that? It’s the middle of March. We’ve been training since January, and look at you. Don’t tell me I wasted my time.”

“You didn’t waste your time.”

“From where I’m standing, it looks like I have. I’m supposed to be preparing you for this secret thing, and you still can’t knock me down.”

“I’ll be better tomorrow. Can’t do any more today.” I hold up my hands in retreat.

“Whatever it is that’s going on between you and Isabelle, sort it out,” he snaps.

I straighten, but my chest caves. I’m not surprised he knew there was a me and Isabelle, so I won’t ask him how.

“I can’t.”

“You’re a Knight. There is no such word as can’t.”

“It’s not in my hands.”

“Then make it be in your hands. When trouble comes for you, you can’t be thinking about your relationship. Your enemies will use whatever they can against you. If that ever happens, you have to be able to think fast. And sometimes, you can’t use your fists.”

I appreciate his words. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives me a curt nod and walks away.

I head to the changing room and take a long hot shower, allowing the water to soothe my bruises. I wish it could smooth away the ache in my heart, too.

People say if you play with fire, you will get burned. Now I know what they mean. I’ve lived it. Isabelle was the fire, and I was drawn to her like an idiot moth.

I knew the outcome and knew I was treading too closely to the edge of the cliff, but I did everything I said I wasn’t going to do and fell.

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