Page 53 of Fragments of You

I don’t know how to explain the way being with Nash has made me feel these past few months, but something has definitely shifted between us, a change I have no doubt he’s noticed as well, though neither of us has dared to mention it.

I’ve never been nervous around Nash, ever, but now, I feel like I’m a bumbling mess of nerves every time we’re together. Like now... He’s held my hand countless times, but when he took it tonight, his fingers intertwining with mine, I seriously felt like I couldn’t breathe.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happened. Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for Nash, feelings that go well beyond friendship. Sometimes, I think maybe he feels the same way, but then other times, I feel like that’s just wishful thinking.

Nash Ketter is the most handsome boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I’ve always known it, but it never really mattered before now. Iris said Sarah Jane and Kelsey K. were both planning to ask him to homecoming. The thought of him going with anyone that isn’t me made me want to puke.

This is the first year that things like dances are a factor. But now that we’re in high school and they’re a thing, it adds even more pressure because now I spend every waking moment obsessing over who he’s going to go with and how hard it’s going to be watching him dance with someone else.

Girls wanting to date Nash is nothing new. He’s always been one of the most sought-after boys in our grade since the girls started taking notice, though he’s never shown much interest in any of them, at least not to me.

“How do you know?” I finally croak after a couple more minutes pass.

“Because I know these woods, P.” He needlessly reminds me. “See, it’s just there.” He uses his flashlight to illuminate the tree that sits a few feet in front of us, the branches sprawled out in every direction, some nearly touching the ground as they sit so low. The perfect climbing tree, Nash had said to me many years earlier when he taught me how to climb it for the first time.

The flashlight swings toward me as we draw to a stop, damn near blinding me.

“Don’t be nervous. It’s just like climbing it during the day.”

I can’t see his face, but if I could, I would no doubt see the smile that laces his words.

“Only it’s not.” I push the flashlight to the side, blinking away the blurred dots in my vision it leaves behind. “Because at night I can’t see anything.”

“Sure you can.” He moves the light toward the tree again. “See.”

“What are we even doing here, Nash?” I wasn’t going to ask, knowing this has everything to do with him not wanting to go home and nothing else, but now that we’re here, it seems odd, even for him.

Usually, we meet at the rocks or on Wickens Bridge. Nash likes to sit on the edge with his feet hanging over. It used to make me nervous, given that it’s a good fifty-foot drop to the water below, but I think that’s the point. He has so little control in his life, but sitting on that bridge, he has the control to decide if he wants to jump or not. He never has, of course, and thank goodness for it because if he did, I’d have to jump in after him, and let’s be honest, I’m not the strongest swimmer in the world. I would, though, because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.

“I just felt like a climb.”

“At ten thirty,” I state flatly.

“You’re the one who said yes when I asked,” he reminds me.

“I’m starting to regret that decision,” I counter, only half serious. I’d go anywhere with Nash because being near him is all I want. I don’t care if we’re riding bikes or climbing trees well past dark. I just want to be with him.

“Liar.” He snickers.

“Because you know me so well.” I snort sarcastically. “You’re going to feel really bad if I get eaten by something out here.”

He releases my hand, and as badly as I want to protest, I don’t.

“Here.” He sets the flashlight on the ground, lighting the base of the tree before turning back to me. I can see him just enough that I know he’s going to touch me before he does. Taking me by the shoulders, he turns me so that my back is resting against the tree.

“Because the tree is going to protect me.” I roll my eyes, though he likely can’t see the action.

“No, I am.” He steps closer, so close that his body presses into mine, pinning me between him and the tree. That thing I was saying earlier about losing my breath, well, I suddenly feel like every ounce of air has been sucked straight out of my lungs. “See, all good.” His breath is warm on my face.

I swear there’s no way he can’t feel my heart, which now feels like it’s about to beat straight out of my chest and into his.

“Yeah,” I manage to get out, though it sounds winded like I’ve been running.

“Is this okay?” I meet his gaze, which is easier to do now that he’s so close.

“Yeah,” I say for a second time, not sure I could come up with any other words if I tried. Apparently, he renders me speechless now too...

“I have a confession,” he starts, and I swear my body feels like it’s about to explode from his nearness. “I didn’t bring you here to climb.”

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