Page 54 of Fragments of You

An inch... That’s all it would take for me to close the distance between his lips and mine. The tiniest movement and I could do the one thing I’ve been dreaming about for months now.

“Then why did you bring me here?” My voice is hushed, barely strong enough to break the surface.

“Because I wanted it to be here, in this spot. It’s the first place we ever came to together, remember?”

I nod slowly.

“You were so scared to climb up; I had to pick you up to help you reach the first branch.”

“I remember.” I can barely hear anything past the thump of my heart, which seems to only be growing louder by the second.

Of course I do. I remember everything with Nash. It’s almost like my brain has a special compartment just for him. I can’t remember when to do my chores on time, or even what I ate yesterday, but I can remember something as insignificant as what he wore two months ago.

“When I look back at my life, P, you’re the only constant. The only thing that makes me want to get out of bed every morning. The only thing that keeps me going when things feel impossible. I can’t wait to see you every day. I can’t wait to hear your voice or see what ridiculous thing you’re going to wear to school that day, which for the record, the Christmas pajamas last week were one of my favs. I mean, it is only September.” He chuckles, silencing my rebuttal with a soft touch of his hand to the side of my face. “The point is, P, you’re my favorite person in the entire world. My best friend. Hell, you’re my everything. And I hope it’s okay, but I didn’t think I could go another day without knowing what it felt like to do this.”

Before I can even truly process his words, his lips press to mine. Every nerve ending in my body explodes in perfect synchronization. The stars align. The birds sing. The freaking earth vibrates with my joy.

FINALLY—I want to scream. Finally!

His tongue slides hesitantly against mine as together we explore something new for the very first time. He tastes like the sun, the moon, the stars, and the planets. Like heaven and earth all rolled into one, and for the love of God, all I want him to do is keep kissing me.

My fingers find his hair, tugging. I’ve always wondered what that would feel like and let me tell you, it’s AMAZING!

My skin is on fire, and yet the burn isn’t painful. The exact opposite, actually. It’s desire—want—need. I’m taken aback by the intensity of a sensation I’ve never felt but recognize right away.

He kisses me slow and gentle like there isn’t anywhere else he needs or wants to be, existing in this perfect moment right alongside me, and I revel in the power of it.

I revel in him.

And I know with complete certainty that after this, there’s no going back.

Now that I’ve felt this, I can’t imagine I’ll ever stop feeling it.

You love him, my inner voice sings.

I love him; I silently repeat the sentiment.

And God do I... I think a part of me has known it for a long time but was too afraid to admit it to myself, but now, there’s no denying the truth.

I am in love with Nash Ketter.

It’s as scary as it is exhilarating. But God, I wouldn’t change this feeling for anything in the world.

“SO HE’S GOING TO LEAVE us alone?” I repeat to Felix, summarizing everything he just told me into a single question.

I thought that’s what I wanted. For Nash to leave us alone. Hell, for him to leave altogether so that life could return to the way it was before he came back. So why, after everything he’s done, does this leave me with a pit in my stomach so heavy that I’m sure it’s going to pull me through the wood planks beneath my feet.

“That’s what he says anyway. Doesn’t sound like something he would do, though, does it?” Felix runs a hand through his hair, Nash’s unexpected visit getting to him in a way I wouldn’t have expected.

He’s right about one thing—it doesn’t sound like Nash at all. He’s never been one to take the high road or give up on something he truly wants. Once he has his mind set on something, there’s no going back. As should be evident by the way he left four years ago. He got it into his head that it was the only way and there was no changing his mind after that, not that I ever had the opportunity to change his mind. Hell, I didn’t even know he was struggling with addiction until he returned.

“What else did he say to you?”

“I already told you. He basically just said he was going to back off.”

“But he’s staying?” I’m ashamed that I need this confirmation. I shouldn’t care if he leaves. Hell, I should want him to. So why don’t I?

“Until you tell him to leave.” He informs me of something he hadn’t said originally. “He’s convinced you’ll choose him eventually. I say we end this now and you tell him to leave. If he’s a man of his word, he’ll go, and we can actually get back to our lives.”

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