Page 43 of Fragments of You

“You have no idea.” He abruptly pushes to a stand, running both hands through his messy hair, tugging on the strands. “Do you know how hard it is for me to know what I know?”

“If it’s so hard, then just say it.”

“I can’t!” He releases his hair, leaving it even messier than it was.

“Why not?” I stand too, unable to sit still a moment longer.

“Because I can’t.”

“And you say you’ve changed.” I snort. “You hid things from me back then, and apparently, you’re still hiding things from me today. Turns out, some things really do never change.” I move to step past him, but he cuts off my path.

“This is different.” He dips, his face coming way too close to mine.

“How?” I square my shoulders, determined not to let him see me weakened by his nearness.

“It just is.”

“You’re just trying to create more problems. I should know better than to ever listen to you. Once a liar, always a liar.”

“That’s rich, considering you’re about to marry the biggest liar of all.”

“Says a man desperate to win at all costs.”

“This isn’t a game I’m trying to win.” He steps toward me and I instinctively take a step back.

“You sure about that?” I mentally curse the shake in my voice.

“You’re so scared to let me back in...”

“I’m not scared.” Another step, and again, I match it with one in the opposite direction.

“Deep down, you know he will never compare to me.”

“I love him,” I disagree.

“You love me more.” Another step and I find myself trapped between the porch railing and Nash, the shoe box I’m clinging to for dear life the only thing keeping any sort of distance between us.

“Keep telling yourself that,” I fire back, my entire body vibrating with nerves.

“You know it’s true. He will never be able to give you what we share. You’ll spend your entire life wishing for something more until, eventually, you leave him. And when you do, I’ll be there. Ten years from now, thirty even. There isn’t a length of time I won’t wait because you, P, you are still the sun my world rotates around, and without you, I am doomed to a life shrouded in darkness.”

I don’t realize he’s taken the box from my hand until I feel him press into me, sending every nerve ending in my body screaming.

“Tell me I’m right.”

He’s so close now. So close I can feel his warm breath on my face. So close that I can smell the dirt and sweat on his body that feels so familiar I could wrap myself in it and never leave. So close that I can feel his heart beating as if it resides inside of my own ribcage.

“Please...” I plead, not sure if I’m pleading for him to let me go or kiss me.

He stops just shy of my lips but still so close that I can feel the smile that touches his mouth as his eyes bore into mine.

“Your body recognizes where it belongs.” I tense when I feel his hand slide up my arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

I swear I feel that singular touch everywhere.

“Nash...”

“You want me to kiss you right now. I know you do. But I’m not going to do that, and do you want to know why?” He pauses for dramatic effect because, let’s be real, I couldn’t form actual words if I wanted to. “Because I won’t kiss you until you ask me to. Until you beg me to. Until you admit I am the only one who can make you feel the way you feel right now. Like you’re burning up from the inside out, craving my touch so desperately it consumes you.” He runs his nose along mine. “Only then will I give you what we both know you want.”

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