Page 77 of Fragments of You

I wrote my parents a letter. I didn’t say exactly what happened. I should have. I should have told them everything and let Felix and Celine burn for their sins, but at the end of the day, despite everything they’ve done, I still love them.

“Paisley, look at me,” Celine pleads as I quickly resume packing, not bothering to even acknowledge her presence. “Please, I can explain.”

“There is no explanation for your lies,” I can’t stop myself from saying.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” I aggressively zip my duffel bag, moving it to the side before grabbing the smaller one for my toiletries and makeup. Moving toward the dresser, I start loading things into the bag, fighting like hell to keep my anger, and my sadness, in check.

It’s only been a couple of days since Felix’s confession, and while the initial shock has worn off, devastation has taken its place. I feel like someone has opened me up and gutted my insides, leaving me with this hollowness that seems to get worse by the minute.

“I love him, Paisley.”

“You love him?” I slam my bag onto the dresser, meeting her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “You were a child!”

I know she’s a victim here too, but I can’t bring myself to forgive her part in this. Felix may have taken advantage of a young girl, but that doesn’t excuse the lies. She was prepared to keep her silence. She was prepared to let me marry him!

“I’m not a child now.” She squares her shoulders. “I love him. I always have.”

“If you love him so much, why didn’t you say anything?” I spin around to face her, not fully prepared for the conflicting emotions that swarm me as I do. “Why were you going to let me marry him?”

“Because he told me you were who he always wanted. That he had loved you since you were kids and that now that you loved him too, he wasn’t going to lose that over a meaningless fling. And as much as I hated him for his words, I loved him too much to take away his happiness.”

“And what about my happiness?” I scream, tears blurring my vision.

“You were happy, weren’t you? While I sat here miserable, my heart breaking every time you mentioned his name!” she yells back, her own tears welling.

“It was a lie. All of it. And you, my sister of all people, were at the center of it. How could you?”

“How could I? You stole him from me!” She points an angry finger in my direction.

“I stole him from you?” I let out a humorless laugh. “Are you kidding me? I didn’t even know he had looked your way, let alone stuck his dick inside of you!” Bile burns the back of my throat, the thought making me physically ill.

“Don’t say it like that, like it was just sex. He loved me. He still does.”

“If that were true then, why did he choose me?” My words are meant to hurt, and I can see they do. I just wish it made me feel better, not worse. “You were a child, Celine. A child who was taken advantage of. You are not on trial for what you believed to be love. You are, however, a liar and a horrible sister, and that I cannot forgive. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to forgive me. I’m not ashamed that I love him or that I lied to protect him. It’s nothing you wouldn’t have done for Nash,” she spits.

“Do not compare what you and Felix did to what Nash and I had. Those two things are so different they don’t even exist on the same plane of existence.”

“How would you know? You don’t know what it was like. You weren’t there.”

“I know that you were a child.”

“You were younger than me when you and Nash began dating. Are you going to stand there and tell me that what you had didn’t mean anything because you were children?”

“That’s different.”

“How? How is it different? Because Felix is older than me? Why should that matter? We’re both adults now. And now that he’s finally seen the light and ended things with you, we can be together, for real this time.”

“Is that what he told you? That he ended things? My God, please tell me you aren’t that gullible.”

“You have Nash back. It shouldn’t matter to you.”

“You are my sister!”

“When has that ever mattered to you?” she sneers. “You’re the most self-absorbed person I have ever met. My entire life, you have behaved like the world revolves around you and we’re all just spectators. All you ever cared about was Nash and then when Nash left, you set your sights on Felix because God forbid you actually stand on your own two feet for once.” I can’t ignore the sting of her words. “You have never cared about me, so why would I care about you?”

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