Page 66 of Fragments of You

“P, wait.” He grabs my forearm just feet before I reach my car. Spinning me around as if I weigh nothing, he keeps one hand on my arm while the other moves up to push a tendril of hair away from my face, the two touches wildly different. “Don’t leave.”

“I have to.” Tears threaten for what feels like the millionth time over the last few days.

I haven’t cried this much since the year after Nash left. I cried so much back then that I wasn’t sure how there were tears left in my body to cry, and then one day, they just stopped. I had somehow found a way to barricade the floodgates, but leaks have been springing all over the place since his return.

I’m trying so hard to pretend that life can be what it was before he came back, but deep down, I don’t know if that’s possible anymore. Will I ever be able to look at Felix and not wonder if I chose the right person?

I wish I could say I knew the answer to that with complete certainty. Maybe if I did, this all wouldn’t be so hard.

“Why?” His eyes search mine for an answer I’m not even sure I could give.

“I can’t do this to Felix,” I croak.

“But you can do this to yourself? You can marry a man you’re not even sure you love.”

“I do love him!”

“But you’re not sure that it’s enough,” he says softly.

“I never said that.”

“If you’re so sure he’s the one, then let me go, P. Because this is killing me.”

“It’s killing you? How do you think I feel?”

“You have all the power here. Tell me to leave. Tell me to leave, and I will. I will walk away and you won’t ever see me again.”

Just as when Felix had asked me to do this, the task feels impossible. Like doing so would be ripping my own heart out and sending it away. I don’t have to wonder why that is. I already know. Because Nash is my heart. He always has been.

“I need to go.” I pull away from his touch, afraid of what I might do if I stand here a moment longer.

“Then go,” he says, not interfering as I climb into my car and quickly fire the engine to life.

I hesitate for the briefest moment before popping the car into drive. Nash watches me with quiet resign as I do a U-turn in the middle of his front yard and speed away, my heart ramrodding inside my chest as I realize one very important thing—he was right about what he said about Felix. If I loved him the way I claim to, Nash coming back wouldn’t have put me in such a tailspin.

And now that I’m letting myself admit this fact, the only real question that remains is, what the hell do I do now?

Chapter Fifteen

Paisley

SIX YEARS EARLIER

“DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE you’re dreaming?” I ask Nash as we lie face up in the wet sand, staring up at the night sky.

“What do you mean?” He finds humor in my question... Of course he does. I’m sure he has no idea what I’m talking about.

“It’s just...” I hesitate, not wanting to sound completely pathetic. This causes Nash to roll to his side.

“It’s just what?” He props himself up on his elbow so that he’s looking down at me.

“It’s just... Sometimes when I’m with you... It feels like a dream,” I let myself admit, thankful that it’s dark enough that he can’t see the way my cheeks pinken with embarrassment.

“Does it?” He grins, pushing my hair away from my forehead with a soft brush of his hand.

“You think I’m crazy.” I laugh at myself to hide my discomfort.

Nash and I have been dating for about six months now, and while the ease of our friendship has carried over in most aspects, there are still some things I feel unsure or nervous about, mainly sharing my feelings with him.

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