Page 60 of Null & Void

“Please sleep in the bed, Riley. You’re exhausted from long watches, and we’ve been traveling for moons. Just sleep in the Divine-damned bed with me.”

Without argument or another word, Riley gets into bed with me. Despite my assertions that I can’t trust him, I have the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. Since the windcave.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The bed dips and wakes me up. Riley is sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me, hands on his knees. His hair is a sleepy mess, sticking out at funny angles like mine does.

Birds are beginning their morning song, though it’s still dark as the sun has not yet peeked over the horizon. Riley doesn’t move from his position on the edge of the bed.

Being alone with him like this, in such close proximity, rouses my rage from its slumber. Back at the inn outside of Forsto, I was recovering, and it was different to be alone with him. This silence and warmth…It’s too much like the windcaves. I’m embarrassed by how much I want to reach out for him. I could. I would be able to reach. Slide my hands along his warm skin.

I remember how soft his lips were on mine. How he still smelled and tasted delicious even though we had been stuck in a cave for days. His rough and hot hands on my skin. My eyes close as I remember the weight of him on top of me, his hard body against me…

“Firecat?”

My eyes shoot back open. Did I make a sound?

“You alright?” he whispers, turning back to look at me.

I clear my throat. “I’m fine. Why are you awake so early?”

“Just keen to get going. Feels like the longer we take, the more danger everyone is in, and the less likely we will find my sister,” he says, standing up and rubbing his face. The urge to reach out for him is almost too much. Almost.

Apparently, he isn’t the only one, Bitty knocks on the door after hearing us awake to ask if we’re good for an early start on the day. The tavern hasn’t opened for breakfast, so we eat hard cheese and dried fruit as we tack up our horses.

We’re able to travel marginally faster now I’m not in so much pain, though Snooze still refuses to do anything beyond a slow canter. But I can grit through an uncomfortable faster pace for the sake of being able to travel further each day.

Beans thinks we’re making good progress and that, at this pace, we should be at the edge of Erdu Castle City within ten days. This only serves to further my resolve to ride harder through the pain. We continue to discuss our plans for Erdu Castle City as we travel, though by now, I could almost recite them verbatim.

After a few days, I’m finally allowed to be on watch. Though I would prefer not to take a hit to the ribs, they’re recovered enough that I can move freely. My leg has a nasty scar healing with patches of scab, but it no longer impinges on my movements.

After my usual loop and spiral perimeter checks, I find a perfect vantage point at the top of a dead tree that is at the lip of a gorge higher than our camp. Relieved to finally be alone, I relish the time I’m on watch.

The moon is almost at the point in the sky where I need to wake Riley, so I do one more loop. Everyone is still asleep as I tiptoe to Riley’s bedroll. Usually, he wakes up easily. Not this time. I gently grab his shoulder with a small jiggle, but he grabs my wrist and yanks it across his body as he rolls flat onto his back. A knife at my throat before I even have a chance to say his name.

“Riley!” I hiss. “What the fuck?”

Riley drops the knife and my wrist immediately. He gulps air a few times before sitting up. I’m sitting on my knees, rubbing at my wrist, looking at him in bewilderment.

“Sorry,” he breathes, shaking his head.

He looks down at my wrist, which I’ve cradled absentmindedly. He takes it gently in both hands, massaging it with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Riley whispers.

I know he means my wrist, but something in my throat imagines him apologizing for other things. I take my wrist back with a snatch.

We don’t say anything further as I crawl into my bedroll. I hear Riley’s footsteps recede as he leaves the camp. It takes me a little while to fall asleep, but eventually, I slip into darkness. Unfortunately, I don’t get a reprieve from nightmares.

It’s not real. None of this is real, I repeat to myself, trying to wake.

I wade through the blood, warmth seeping into my pants, the copper tang in my nose and on my tongue.

There wasn’t this much blood, I try to remember. There wasn’t this much.

Blood rains down the walls; laughter echoing.

Streaming from his eyes, his tears the color of his ruby blood as he pleads for his life.

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