Page 48 of Null & Void

The evening drags on as I’m left in my spot against the trees. I haven’t seen the chestnut pony, but I can see a group of horses tied up, so she may be with them. It’s a cloudy night and I’m not able to tell what direction we have traveled in because I can’t see any stars. It’s still raining on and off, nothing serious, some spitting here and there. I manage to weave myself a small bowl from the leaves of a swordgrass bush, and it’s sitting under a part of the canopy that has a constant trickle.

They haven’t lit a fire, perhaps worried about tipping off their location. Laughter and banter float toward me on the breeze. I guess I’m sleeping out here. My eyes begin to blur, and my blinking slows until I don’t remember when I stopped opening them.

A big huff of warm air wakes me, followed by a velvet muzzle lipping at my ears. The pony from Waadi is staring down at me, and she tries to lip at me again. I stand up so I can give her a cuddle and kiss her nose.

She’s trying to play with me, nipping at my shoulder before prancing away. She walks behind the tree and then slowly reaches her head around to nip at my pants as if I couldn’t see her coming. I can’t help but giggle to myself as I play chase with her. She nips me, and I chase her as far as my rope—and energy—allows.

I’m standing in the dark blue light of pre-dawn, scratching her fluffy ears, out of breath from our little games, when I hear someone calling out. “Arpi, the pony got free and is with the assassin!”

Duckhead sticks his head out of his tent and glares in my direction as I peer at him over the pony’s head. Arpi, that’s Duckhead’s name, then. He stomps out in his boots and undershorts, his hairy belly jiggling with the motion.

“How did you get out?” he growls, reaching for the pony. She waits until he’s about to touch her before bolting, kicking the air as she goes. We watch as she trots herself back to where the rest of the horses are tethered. He shakes his head in her direction before stomping back toward his tent.

“What’s her name? The pony, I mean,” I quickly ask his retreating form, hoping he can’t hear in my voice how much I desire to use his intestines as a skipping rope.

“She don’t got one.”

Breakfast is fish jerky. The absolute worst kind of jerky. Who even likes fish jerky? I eat it all and ask for seconds, but Kino turns me down with a sneer. As it turns out, Kino completely lacks any front teeth—and he is probably going to lose a few more by the state of the rest of them. Remembering that he spat on me with those rotting teeth in his mouth causes bile to churn in my stomach.

I now understand the conglomerate of stench in the cart. They weren’t all from the hessian sacks, though they still have a lot to answer for. Small barrels and crates of food are taking up most of the space, including the fish jerky. The cart looks too heavy for the sweet pony, and I’m hesitant to get on it. A swift backhand across the face from an Erduborn man—who wasn’t with them in Teorann—is my encouragement to get in.

At least I’m not hog-tied. My tree rope is attached to the pony after being wound through some of the gaps in the slats of the cart. I don’t have much slack to move, but no gag. I am still covered by hessian, and the Divine fucking stench is assaulting my very last nerve.

We break for lunch and for everyone to relieve themselves. My rope is used like a leash, much to my embarrassment, when the man keeps holding it while I relieve myself. I’m given a handful of nuts and dried fruits, and more fish jerky. This time I’m allowed to have a drink of water, which I guzzle greedily before the rest is confiscated.

The sweet pony tries to get my attention when I’m not looking at her. I wish I had an applemint to give her. I wish I could take her to live at Mama’s with Applemint. Duckhead—Arpi—is coming toward me, so I assume it’s time to lie down and be covered. But instead, he leans over the side of the cart to talk to me.

“When she said you were the Silent Assassin, I didn’t believe her. But then I thought you’d confirmed it in Teorann. Now though, I must say, you’re pretty disappointing.” He walks away, laughing like a duck.

I’m still staring at him in confusion when I’m covered up. She? Who is she?

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

We travel for hours without a break, and I curse myself, not for the first time, for not at least asking Beans which direction Forsto was in. Breaking for camp mirrors the night before. I’m tied to a tree and left alone with my dinner thrown to me in the dirt. Though, I’d much prefer to be tied up outside than be cramped in a tent with a bunch of stinking Erduborn men. They’re starting to smell worse than I do, and I’ve been huddled against barrels of fish jerky and covered in filthy, wet hessian.

The pony doesn’t wait for night to fall before escaping and coming to visit again. No one notices the small horse-shaped figure sneaking along the outskirts of the camp in the setting sun. I’m still eating my apple when she arrives. Sitting on the slightly damp ground, she comes to stand as close as she possibly can without stepping on me. Her head slowly comes down, inches from my mouth, as I continue to eat my apple. A snotty huff bursts from her nose whenever I take a bite. She throws her head up and down, her lips clapping to show further irritation when I take a very slow and very deliberate bite making “mmm” sounds at her.

I still have two bites and the core left when I spot Arpi across the camp, a black look in his eyes as he stomps toward us. I quickly feed the pony the rest of my apple and tell her she has to go. She eats the apple with painful slowness, and my rage fires up in my belly. Pushing her out of the way so I can stand, I push her again, encouraging her to leave.

I didn’t realize I had punched Arpi in the face until I felt the sting of it on my knuckles. It wasn’t a great punch, considering my hands are bound, but the resounding crack was excellent. He’d walked up and punched her in the head, and she took off running. Then I must have landed the punch, and now Arpi has his hands around my throat, lifting me off my feet. The pain in my neck and head is worse than the lack of air. His face is so close to mine that his nose presses against my cheekbone.

“No wonder the Gifted Erduborn woman paid me to get rid of you, you filthy cunt,” he all but screams at me. “I have big plans for you, and not a single one relies on you being whole. Test me again, and I will break you. Maybe I’ll break you anyway.”

He slams me against the tree by the throat before dropping me, and I crumple to the ground, gasping. Not done with me, he grabs me by the hair and pulls me back up to standing.

“If you still have enough strength in you to throw a punch, I must be feeding you too much. I hope sharing your apple with the fucking pony was worth it—you ain’t getting shit for a while,” Arpi taunts, spittle flying from his mouth.

He punches me so hard in the stomach that it winds me, and my meager dinner threatens to come back up. Letting go of my hair, he grabs me painfully by the jaw and shows me the knife in his other hand. He pushes it into my side, not enough to draw blood, but enough to let me know exactly which organs are at risk.

And then he puts his disgusting mouth on mine.

I bite my lips together, but he pushes them open with his tongue as he digs the knife in deeper in warning. He tastes like rotten meat, fish, and rancid drogalyf. My fists are balled up and stretching the boundaries of my tied wrists so hard I might snap a bone. He’s licking the roof of my mouth, and his dirty facial hair is scraping my lips along with his. Taking my bottom lip painfully between his teeth, he bites and pulls hard enough that I let out a cry.

Letting me go, he steps back with blood on his lips. My blood. He wipes his mouth, and seeing it, he spits at my feet.

“There’s more than one way to break a woman, and I know which ways are my favorite,” he threatens with venom, spitting once more and leaving. I do my own spitting on the ground, trying to get the taste of him out of my mouth, and then my entire meal comes up with a few violent heaves. I’m still chewing on a bunch of wet grass to rid me of the vomit and taste of that vile man when realization hits me.

She.

---