Page 49 of Null & Void

The Gifted Erduborn woman.

Tovi.

“It was the woman I was traveling with,” I say to Arpi as I am loaded into the cart without breakfast the next morning. “She paid you.”

“She was most distraught when our first attempt in Teorann didn’t work. But this has worked out much better,” he says, as his eyes look me over appreciatively before covering me with hessian for the day.

It can’t be true.

It took her a while to warm up to me, but she’s my friend. She wouldn’t risk the entire mission or the lives of the others. Why would she hate me that much? This is a mind trick meant to derail my confidence. He must’ve heard things and repeated them. Exactly how he knows so much information about me and the others gives me pause. But still, I cannot believe that Tovi would betray me, let alone Riley, Beans, and Bitty too.

When we stop for lunch, I’m not even given the chance to relieve myself or anything to eat. I push the hessian off me so I can breathe in some fresh air and find a moment of relief from the stifling heat. Kino barks at me to lie back down and covers me again. I wait there, seething and fuming for another ten minutes before the cart starts moving again.

As promised, I’m not given dinner, and I haven’t had a drink of water since lunch yesterday. My sticky mouth and pounding headache are worse than the cramp in my stomach. There is no rain, just another cloudy night with no stars. The temperature has dropped dramatically tonight, and it’s getting colder by the minute. The light tunic and pants I’m wearing are not enough, especially without boots and being stuck outside in this damp valley.

The lights in the tents have been out for hours, but still, I am awake. I’m shivering too much to sleep even though it’s all I want right now. I’m huddled in a ball at the base of a tree with my arms tucked between my chest and knees to protect them from the cold wind. The tell-tale signs of soft hoof beats reach my ears moments before I see the beautiful little pony coming to visit me again.

I untuck my arms to reach up to pat her nose as I whisper, “You shouldn’t be here, sweet girl. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

She huffs, before sprawling ungracefully on the ground in front of me. I lean forward a little, giving her a pat. Heat is radiating from her body, and I lean against her, stroking her whole body with my bound hands as I steal some of her warmth. The shivering finally stops.

The pony wakes me as she moves to get up. There is no sign of the sun, but I can hear the first songs of a morning bird, meaning it’s near dawn—I must have fallen asleep. I stand with her, giving her kisses and massaging her ridiculously fluffy ears.

When I escape, I’m taking her with me. She’s too good for them. Too good for me. Mama and Frankie will love her and treat her right. I whisper all of this to her because even if she can’t understand what I say, the Divine can hear my vow.

Kino brings me water for breakfast. Still no food. The water only makes my hunger worse, rousing it instead of helping to satiate it. I spend the day in the cart in pain, nausea rolling off me in waves. I’m allowed to relieve myself when everyone else does at lunch, but nothing comes out. I’m an empty, dried-out husk.

The next three nights and days follow the last so closely they blur into one memory. Tied to a tree outside. No dinner. The pony sneaks out when everyone is asleep to lie with me until sunrise, waking me as she sneaks off, and I still have no idea how she’s escaping. A few mouthfuls of water in the morning. The chance to relieve myself at midday with no success. Rinse and repeat. Rinse. Repeat.

I miss the others. All of them. I’ve never really had friends before, and I thought maybe these four…A large lump forms in my throat at the thought, and my eyes sting. Tovi couldn’t have done this. I’m still angry at Riley and the weird game he’s been playing with me. But I’d give anything to have the warmth of his touch right now.

I fall asleep thinking of him, my thumb brushing over my three favorite freckles.

On the fifth night of cuddling the pony even though it’s no longer cold, I name her. I’ve been thinking about it for days and can’t think of anything better than calling her my sweet girl.

“Sweet Girl?” I whisper, to see her reaction.

Her furry ears turn to me, and she lifts her head.

“Is that your name? Can I call you Sweet Girl?”

She snorts her hot breath at me and drops her head back down.

“I’ll take that as a yes, Sweet Girl,” I mumble into her fur as sleep takes me.

One of the men takes pity on me, or perhaps Arpi has changed his mind, and I’m offered some food with my usual breakfast of water. I can barely stomach the handful of nuts and dried fruit, forcing them down requires concentration. My body tries to reject the food immediately, and the sip of water doesn’t help. I sleep the entire time in my dirty hessian tomb, not waking for lunch, unsure if we even stop. When I awake in the early afternoon, Arpi tells me, “We’re here.”

Here is a dusty clearing on the edge of the forest, with the side of a long canyon—more like a cliff—looming over us. In the wall of the canyon cliff is a well-worn cave entrance. Sitting in the cart, I watch Arpi’s men carrying things in and out of the cave. Some readymade structures sit to the left of the cave entrance, worn too, like they’ve been here for a while.

“Is this where you all live?” I ask Arpi in a croak, my throat painfully dry.

“No, we’ll be here a few days before moving on.”

His rough hands drag me off the cart and I’m tied to a tree on the edge of the forest with a full view of what they’re up to. Sweet Girl is taken around the corner past the structures that I can now see are full of tables and chairs. The men periodically go into another small cave I assume must be their privy.

I’m given an apple with a cup of tea for dinner. Kino gave it to me with a wink, pushing his finger to his lips in a shushing motion. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I savor the tea anyway. It’s not until I finish that it occurs to me it could be drugged.

Fires are dotted around the area, the men sitting around singing and laughing. Some men are at wooden tables and chairs eating or playing card games in the structures.

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