Page 44 of A Smooth Operator

Chapter 17

Echo

Iturned the music on full blast as soon as I got home. When Ray Charles sang Drown In My Own Tears, it resonated with me because I was crying, silent tears running down my face.

I was humiliated, certainly. But I'd been humiliated before. This was something else. This was heartbreak.

I'd gone to the club because I wanted to tell Remi my paper was accepted. I was so excited to share my good news with him. He seemed to care about it, and no one else ever had. Stupid, stupid Echo, always wanting more than she had a right to. My aunt had always tried to teach me, and I never go it…until now.

"Learn your place, girl. College is not for you. Find yourself a job and a man."

"Just because you now went to Vandy doesn't make you special."

"You're a whore and drug addict's daughter, Echo, no matter how much education you get."

I could get educated. I could get cleaned up. But I couldn't become worthy of people like Remi and Lani. I'd let them use me because I was hungry for acceptance. I'd bettered myself and they still looked at me like I was the help. God! I hated these people so much. I hated how they made me feel.

I couldn't believe that Remi called me a fat bitch. The first man to make me feel beautiful had been lying. He thought I was a leech.

As Aretha Franklin bellowed about getting respect, I put a hand on my small dining table. I served him food here. We'd talk about everything and anything. I thought we were friends and lovers. Now, I knew I was nothing to him—maybe a ride on the wrong side of the tracks. He could check off fucked the DUFF from his bucket list.

I collapsed onto the floor and pulled my knees up, hugging myself. I didn't mind being alone—cause I knew how to take care of myself, which was why I never felt lonely. But right now, I could do with someone hugging me, someone telling me it was going to be alright, that I'd be okay.

What had I ever done to these people that they should speak about me like this? I was kind. I was quiet. I stayed out of everyone's way.

I heard my doorbell, but I ignored it. I didn't care who it was. I didn't want to see anyone. Then I heard the door open. I looked up and saw Remi.

He looked around my place and spotted me on the floor. I hated that he saw me like this, broken.

"Leave the key and get the fuck out of my house," I told him and rested my forehead on my knees, making him disappear. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?

Yeah, and DNA will start knitting sweaters.

I felt his heat next to me as he settled on the floor with me.

But when he put his arm around me, I pushed him away, scrambling to stand up.

"Don't you dare touch this fat bitch, Remi Drake."

I saw regret in his eyes, and I didn't give a shit. He was feeling bad that he got caught. He thought he was a decent guy, so he wanted to apologize and make it right. But the thing was that if he was actually a decent guy, he would've never said those things about me in the first place.

"Echo, I'm so sorry."

Laughter burst out of me. "You've got to be kiddin' me."

"I have no excuse. I was…I'm so sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am." My hands were clenched into fists, tears were still streaming down my face, but I didn't care. I was fueled by both grief and anger. "I don't know why I expected any better from you 'cause y'all are cheaters. Marina fucks your friend. Tommy fucks other people. Lani slept with Kenneth. Yeah, with Kate's fiancé. It was in Aspen last winter when y'all went skiing. They were drunk. This is who you people are. No sense of loyalty, no integrity, and you look down upon me?"

He got up from the floor. He pulled out a dining chair. "Sit. Please."

"Get out, Remi."

He sat down on a chair. "Please, Echo."

I shook my head. "No. You don't get to come into my home anymore. You don't get to speak to me."

"Come on, please let me explain. Don't you think we owe it to ourselves? For what we shared?"

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