Page 64 of The Bull's Head

“I hear Cooper’s voice. It tells me how disgusting I am, how sick. He used to say it all the time, but now? It’s… there’s more. He’s filling my thoughts, and it’s hard to blot him out.”

“Then focus on me. On the family you’ve built here. Let us drown out that voice.”

Byk snorted. “What family? I only know you.”

“Should I be offended, little bull?”

He peered over his shoulder. “And Ivan.”

“And the doctor, the rabbit, the wolf. Everyone you’ve met, even when you were stuck in your bull form, is someone who cared about you. Cared for you. They all have a vested interest in making sure you’re happy. They—we—all want you to be a member of Wald pack. Our pack.”

“See? It is as I said, little bull. Teddy is madly, passionately in love with you. If I know my brother, he has been at his wit’s end trying to help. I am not a smart man. My brother likes to pretend he isn’t. If you wonder how I knew he was smart, you have simply to see your face reflected in his gaze. Never, not even with our parents, have I beheld that kind of love.”

“And Cece and Damon,” Teddy corrected.

“And the rabbit’s mother and father,” Ivan admitted. “Let me rephrase. The kind of love I see in Teddy’s eyes humbles me. It’s a rare gift, and I find myself hoping to one day know that kind of feeling.”

Ivan rarely spoke from the heart, but when he did, Teddy always found it stirring something within himself, like he had to be worthy of those words. Ivan had changed since the last time Teddy saw him. He was more introspective now, not his usual ribald self. He wanted to know what was going on with him, but right now, Teddy’s priority had to be Byk.

“Ivan, we can talk later, if you want.”

“Or now,” Byk added. “We could sit down and talk.”

A smile, but not the normal wide one. This was shy and serious. “No, but thank you. Perhaps later. I will take my leave now, so that the two of you can speak.” Ivan stood, then came to where Byk was still hugging Teddy and wrapped them both in an embrace, then kissed each on the temple. “Little brother, be good to your bull. He is charming company, and he should not ever be sad.”

Then before Teddy could agree, Ivan was gone.

“You should go after him,” Byk whispered. “I think there’s something wrong.”

Teddy was torn. He was between the two people he loved more than any in the world, and leaving either would hurt.

“Go!” Byk said harshly. “Don’t let him be alone like this. I’ll be fine, I swear.”

Permission given, Teddy took off after his brother. It took several minutes to find him, because Ivan was hiding in a storage room. When Teddy opened the door, Ivan scrubbed a hand over his eyes and looked up with a big, fake-as-hell smile.

“Little brother! Is good to see you. Come, we should have vodka to celebrate.”

Teddy stepped inside and closed the door. “We’re worried about you,” he said, sliding down the wall and sitting beside Ivan.

“Why would you worry? I’m Ivan, the life of the party. Never any worries for Ivan, no sirree Bob.” Then he choked back a sob. “You’re lucky, you know. Your mate loves you.”

“Of course he does. One day if you decide to have a mate, they’ll love you—Oh. Oh, Ivan.” He pulled his brother into a hug and sat holding him as he whimpered.

“He said he doesn’t want me here. He would prefer I go back with Cece.”

“He?”

Ivan nodded. “Da. My mate is a man. Cute as a button, he is, but with an attitude that makes Cece seem sane by comparison.”

Who could it possibly…? “Jerome. It is, isn’t it?”

“Da. My little kitten wishes me to leave.”

“Let me guess. Your bear is saying he’s yours, right?”

“What? No. My bear wants to kill him for his weakness.” Ivan swallowed hard. “He—we—are not like you. Kindness is your nature. I am a killer, and I have no qualms about doing it. I have never felt remorse for killing someone who deserved it. The only time I felt bad was when the little ones died because of Hiram, and I was not the one to get revenge for them.”

“You’re not a bad person!” Teddy sniped.

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