Page 39 of Love and Other Lost Things

Jane could picture Mom clutching the phone to her ear, pulling aside the curtain to peer out the front window, braced for Dad’s patrol car to come down the street.

“We were so worried about you.”

“I left a note.”

Mom’s voice shook. “It didn’t say anything about where you were going. Where are you?”

Jane hesitated. “California,” she finally said. It was a big state, and she didn’t think they’d be able to trace her to LA. She didn’t rent an apartment, didn’t have any bills in her name. Matteo paid her under the table and had given her the phone. “Mom.” Jane scrubbed her sweaty palms on her pant leg. “Things aren’t great here and I could use some help. Is there any way you could send me some money? I don’t need a lot. Just a thousand. Maybe two.” It sounded like a fortune to Jane, but it couldn’t be that much for her mom. After all, her parents had an entire college fund they’d saved and wouldn’t be using.

Jane listened to the silence on the other end of the phone. Finally, Mom cleared her throat. “Your father would notice if I took money out of the account.”

“I know, but…”

“He’s very angry you left.”

“Mom, please.” Jane felt tears welling in her eyes. “I need help.”

“Well, Jane, you could come home.”

“I can’t come home. You know I can’t.” She grabbed a pillow and held it to her chest. “What if you left him and moved somewhere with me? We could go to Canada.” Maybe she could get a bus out of Los Angeles and start fresh somewhere else. Vancouver, or if that was too expensive, maybe a small town in British Columbia. Mom could meet her there, far away from Linden Falls and Dad’s control. If Jane went through with having the baby, Mom could take care of it while Jane got a job to support them.

“I don’t see how I could possibly leave…”

“You could get a lawyer, right? You’d have a right to some of the money? Savings, or alimony, maybe. And I could work. I’m a really good server?—”

“Dad would never let me go,” Mom interrupted. “And no lawyer in this town would go up against Chief McCaffrey.”

“He couldn’t hurt you in Canada.”

“It would never work.”

“It would never work?” Jane repeated. “Or you’re not willing to make it work?”

“Jane, you don’t understand…” Mom began, but Jane hung up before she could hear any more of Mom’s excuses.

Jane woke, disoriented, and in the dark. She sensed movement by her knee and sat up abruptly. The streetlamp shone in through the crack in the blinds, slanting across Matteo’s face. Jane threw off the blanket and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

“Jane, wait.” Matteo held out a palm. “Please.”

She stopped, but still kept her distance.

Matteo hung his head. “I am so sorry, Jane. You have to know that.”

She eyed him warily. “Do I?”

“There’s no excuse for what I did.” He took a deep breath and then blew it out slowly. “I thought you’d gone on the pill, and I just wasn’t expecting this.” A hint of an incredulous smile played on his lips. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.”

“You don’t want this baby. You made that very clear.”

“I do, Jane. I was in shock at first. I think that’s why I”—he coughed—“reacted like I did. But when I left here, I realized I want it so badly.”

Gingerly, Jane pressed her hand to the tender spot on her shoulder where he’d shoved her into the wall. “You know that’s no excuse, right? There’s never an excuse for what you did.”

“I know. I’m sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

Jane wished the room was brighter so she could get a better look at his expression. But part of her didn’t want to switch the lamp on. Didn’t want to face her life in the harsh light.

Matteo got up and walked around the bed to where Jane sat. She slid back an inch. “I’ve been thinking about it all evening,” he said. “I can hire another server at the club. You won’t need to work; I’ll take care of you and the baby.”

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