Page 103 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

“Yeah, but you still dated other people, didn’t you?” I mean slept with, but that feels like a weird thing to ask my brother.

He nods. “Yeah. Why do you think your first can’t be your last?”

Shrugging, I say, “Mom and Dad. I think.”

“Really?”

“Did you know Dad told Cooper to break up with me?”

His eyes widen. “Seriously?”

I nod. “Yeah, last summer. Something about how if he really loved me he’d let me experience life before settling down.” I laugh. “Sound familiar?”

His under the breath laugh and shake of his head tell me a thought was clicking into place. Maybe he sees he’s been influenced by our parents' relationships more than he thought. “Dad told Cooper that based on his own experience. But just because he’s an adult doesn’t mean he always knows better, Soph. Just because we share the same blood doesn’t mean we have to share the same story. Mom and Dad drew the shit end of the stick which thankfully for them and us turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I found the love of my life without having to go through the mud first. I’m lucky as hell I found her when some people never find theirs. Somehow you’re lucky enough to have found yours too. It’s probably too late for me. I don’t think it’s too late for you, but don’t play a game with time and risk waiting until it is. You don’t have the luxury of checking out your other options to make sure you’re picking the right one.”

His last thought hits me so hard I’m surprised I don’t fall off my board. Have I just been assuming I do have the time because Cooper has always been there? But . . . “Mom and Dad both didn’t get lucky with their first try. What are the chances I did? What are the chances that both of us found our soulmates on the first try?”

He chuckles. “What are the chances Mom decided to go on the specific singles cruise that Dad also won on a radio contest? Life is weird, but the way they relate to each other makes their relationship stronger, I think. You and Cooper connect on other things. Instead of understanding similar experiences, you went through a lot of them together. That’s something not a lot of people can say.”

“I think that’s why it felt too good to be true. For a while I thought you have to have all kinds of experiences, you know, before you figure out what you like and don’t like–to make sure you’re not settling with the first option.”

“You think you’d be settling with Cooper?”

“I thought maybe once I went through the things that gave me experience and taught me lessons or whatever that we could be together after–if we are meant to be. You know, like how if you and Maci are meant to be then you’ll find her when you go home.” After reading that letter, I’m rooting for them. I wish I could meet her.

“That’s not how it works, Sophie. I stuck to the story I had in my head so hard that I hurt Maci more than I needed to. What she deserved was for me to always tell her the truth. To be upfront about my own thoughts so she could make decisions with all the facts instead of left to her own assumptions–instead of me choosing her life path for her. What she deserved was for me to not make her doubt how I feel about her.” He pauses. “Have you hurt Cooper?”

“I mean, it’s not like I’ve cheated on him or anything. I mean we’ve hardly even been officially together.”

Dean chews on the edge of his lip like he can’t decide on his next words.

“What?”

“It’s just . . . Thanksgiving last year.”

“What about it?” That was right after Cooper found out about JT. My stomach flips at the thought of having sex with that dickwad.

“Yeah. That. Whatever it is you just thought about is what I’m referring to.” He chuckles.

“I . . . Cooper isn’t the only guy I’ve been with, but we weren’t together,” I justify. “We were broken up.”

“Because of Dad.” He shoots me a pointed look, furrowing his brows.

“Cooper knew I needed some time. I had to figure out what I wanted my life to look like. And I did. I made a list of all the things I was supposed to experience, especially in college. I went through the motions to get there. I did my homework. I volunteered at the library. I drew sketches of a hundred houses. I read so many books that I caved and got a Kindle. Yeah, I partied too. And hung out with some other guys. So what? That’s part of it all.”

“Why couldn’t you do those things with Cooper?”

“He thinks he knows what I need. How could he when I don’t even know?”

“Okay, I see what you’re trying to say . . . but do you see how maybe to him, it just felt like he wasn't good enough for you?”

“No. I told him it wasn’t about him. Plus, he’s the one who kept turning me down. Saying we should just be friends.”

“So, you think he meant you should date other guys?” Why won’t he drop this?

“It’s not like I was in a relationship with them. He didn’t want to be with me.”

“Do you really believe that?”

---