Page 81 of Bad Professor

I wonder if this is similar to what an apocalypse feels like. It’s like the world shifts off-kilter and I can’t keep my balance.

“You can’t mean that.”

“But I do.”

44

Tilly

He leaves. I make him leave. Dexter walks out of my apartment, and out of my life.

My heart breaks.

45

Dexter

Ikeep up the hope that Tilly will change her mind. That she will forgive me for lying to her.

She doesn’t.

Classes pause for the holidays so I don’t see Tilly for four weeks.

It’s painful.

I didn’t realize how much I’d relied on her for little things, like talking about my day. It’s easier cooking for two people. She even liked watching the same shows I do on Netflix.

And when classes start up in January, I find that I really miss her smile.

The Taylor Swift class was only a half credit, but my fantasy course continued into the second semester. I had hope that maybe time had helped, but when Tilly walks into the first class, but she goes straight to the back of the class to put as much distance as possible between us, those hopes are dashed.”

“Can I speak to you for a moment, Ms. Estes?” I call to Tilly as the class ends. It’s only because I’m watching that I see the flash of expression—hope and a little wistful. But then she schools it into a frown.

“Can I help you with something, Professor?” There was an unnecessary emphasis on the word, like I need the reminder.

I do, actually. Because I want nothing more than to pull her straight into my arms and back to my office so I can hear the little whimper Tilly makes before she comes, and screw my career.

“How were your holidays?” I keep things business-like as the last of the students file out.

“Great, thank you. Carlos took the girls and me to Jamaica for a week.”

“Carlos took you?”

“Yes,” she says brightly, and my heart sinks. She’s forgiven him and not me.

“Oh. I…”

“What did you want, Professor?”

You, I almost say. I want you back. “I miss you,” I tell her in a low voice.

“That’s not my problem.” But her voice wavers as she says it. And her eyes…

“Tilly, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are. And I understand why you lied, but it’s the fact that you thought so little of me, that you didn’t think I could handle your past that I have yet to forgive. I was married to a liar and I don’t want to be in a relationship with one. You’re my teacher, Dexter, and I’m your student, at least until the end of the school year.”

“And then?”

---