Page 311 of Born of Blood and Ash

“Then I’m okay.” The eatherretreated a bit from his eyes. “Please. Please, keep talking.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It is. I need you to.” His shoulders rolled. “You need to.”

“I don’t want this stuff in your head, Ash. You already haveenough.”

“It’s been in my head, Sera,” he said hoarsely, his featuresstark. “It’s in my head every night you scream. It’s there when I feel you lockup against me. When I can tell you’re fighting not to pull away from me. It’salready there.”

Pain lanced my chest. “I don’t want that.”

“I know.” He took a breath, and the ice began to melt. “Tellme how Rhain ended up freed.”

My heart stuttered. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t know what I know. Or what I don’t.”

I glanced down at his hands. The knuckles were bleachedwhite. “Kolis was going to have Rhain killed, and I…I couldn’t allow that. Itold him that it would only worsen tensions if he killed Rhain. That is true.”

“But that wasn’t the only thing.”

“No.” I focused on the golden imprint on my hand. “I toldhim I would do anything. That I was willing to make a deal.” I looked up atAsh. “What I’m about to tell you is the truth. I’m not omitting anything. I’mbeing completely honest, and I need you to believe that.”

His eyes searched mine. “I’ll believe you.”

I took a breath and counted to five. “He agreed to freeRhain if I allowed him to sleep with me—”

Ash’s eyes flashed pure silver.

“All he meant was sleeping next to me,” I quickly added.“That was all. He wanted to…” My lip curled. “Hold me while he slept.”

“Did you think that was what he meant?” he asked afterseveral tense moments.

“No,” I whispered, feeling daggers in my gut. “All I couldthink about was saving Rhain. I panicked, and I agreed. I’m sorry—”

“Fates, do not apologize.” He sank back on his haunches.“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“But—”

“No,” he snarled, shadows appearing and then disappearingbeneath his skin. “Even if he wanted more and you agreed to it, you would havedone so under duress. That’s not true consent. Ask me how I know.”

“I don’t need to ask,” I said. “I know how you know.”

“Then do not waste a fucking second on guilt.”

My chest rose deeply. “I…I won’t. You’re right.”

He twisted his neck again. “Is that the only time he wantedto sleep beside you?”

I shook my head.

Ash took a breath. I wasn’t sure if he took another afterthat.

“He has remained celibate since Sotoria.”I watched his chest, looking for movement. “How incredibly creepy is that?”

The chest rose then. “I don’t even know what to say.”

I nodded.

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