Page 91 of Nikolai (Kansas City Reapers)

“No,wearen’t talking about anything. I’m purposefullynottalking aboutanyone,” I seethed.

“Well, maybe that’s the problem.” He made his way fully into my bedroom, shutting the door behind himself. I turned around, not willing to face him with tears still running down my face. I swiped at the errant streaks, taking a few deep breaths.

“Jax, I don’t think talking is going to do any good at this point.”

“You never know. Talking usually helps a lot, in one way or another. I’m not saying you have to talk to Niko, but maybe you could vent to me. At the very least, it might make you feel better,” he shrugged, picking a piece of lint off of the comforter and tossing it to the floor.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” I grumbled, plopping myself down onto the edge of the bed opposite him.

“Well, how about you start by telling me what’s up with all of this,” he suggested, holding up one of my dresses I had thrown on the bed.

“I’m packing.”

“Well, I can see that. Planning another escape?” He chuckled lightly, dropping the dress back down onto the bed.

“Not exactly.” I picked up the dress, intending to fold it up for my suitcase, but I was too angry and too emotional to simply fold it. Instead, I rolled it up in a ball that mirrored the knot of emotions roiling in my chest and slammed it down into the suitcase with a bit more force than I had intended.

“Care to elaborate on that? Or are you happy just abusing your clothing?”

“Jax… I…” I started, but words failed me. How was I supposed to explain what I was feeling? Or what was happening?

“You’re obviously upset, Maddy. And I’m not here to judge. But I can tell you from experience that holding on to these emotions never turns out well, in the end. You end up shoving it down for so long that it just festers and boils over at the worst imaginable times and in even more unimaginable ways.” His words were kind if a little blunt.

“I’m leaving.” The words came out in a huff.

“Okay, and what prompted this decision of yours?” He leaned back against the headboard, making himself comfortable.

“It wasn’t my decision,” I admitted softly, looking down at my fingers as I picked at my cuticles. It was a habit I had long since abandoned, but something about this situation put me right back to my old ways — my oldhigh schoolways.

“Oh?” He questioned, but I said nothing. “Oh… I see.” His entire tone changed as realization hit him.

“Exactly.”

“So… is the case closed, then?” The question was a loaded one, and I wasn’t so oblivious that I could not pick up on his meaning; on the deeper questions that answering would evoke.

“Not by a long shot. Not to my knowledge, at least.”

“Okay. You’re going to have to open up here a bit, Maddy. I want to help you, but I gotta be honest. You’re not making much sense.” He was right. I was beatingaround the bush, being purposefully vague to the point of making things difficult. Which was an asshole move on my part when he was sitting here trying to be kind to me.

“I don’t know how I ended up here, Jax,” I said quietly, working to hold off the tears that threatened to spill over at any moment. I wasnotgoing to cry in front of him. I was too proud for that shit.

“Well, you witnessed a crime and—”

“Come off it, Jax.” Swatting him in the chest, I rolled my eyes. He laughed, smiling at me and — despite my over-emotional state — I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Okay, so then what do you mean?”

“I don’t even know where to begin. Niko and I…”

“Things are a bit complicated there, huh?” he asked, understanding written on his face.

“You could say that.”

“Well, talk to me about it. You can trust me.”

I don’t know why I believed him, but I did. He had been honest with me before and had proven he could hold boundaries — and secrets. So, I took a deep breath and threw caution to the wind. Why the fuck not, right? It wasn’t like I’d be around to see the aftermath, anyway.

“We agreed on this arrangement, this… dynamic, between us. It made sense. We both wanted the same things. We understood each other.”

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