Page 49 of One More Time

Wyatt studied me for a long minute. “Why not? You deserve love.”

It felt as if Wyatt had kicked open a door I kept shut, locked, and bolted for good measure. I didn’t like to think about love. Maybe I didn’t think I deserved it.

This was an inconvenient place for any kind of serious conversation, but I couldn’t walk away. “Why do you say that?” I finally asked.

I’d always been closer to Wyatt than my other brothers. He and Griffin were the closest in age to me. “Because I get it. I’m no expert, but our family was kind of fucked up. Or the grown-ups were. Everybody except Mom.”

“And Dad,” I chimed in.

Wyatt shrugged, almost dismissive about that. “We all had to live with our grandfather, and you had to live with Jake. You still have to live with listening to everybody else talk about Jake like he was fucking perfect. After what he went through, I get it. But he wasn’t because he took his own shit out on you. Does it mean you deserved it? I imagine maybe you wonder that sometimes. None of us deserved any of it.”

I stared at my brother, almost stunned at the clarity of his observation.

“Thank you,” I finally said.

“For what?”

“For letting me know you saw what happened with Jake. I’ve always just gotten quiet when everybody talks about him. I still miss him, but…” I shrugged, unsure how to explain the mixed emotions I experienced when talking about my oldest brother. Jake wasn’t all bad, but it was hard to forget being the target of his misplaced anger.

Wyatt stepped closer, sliding his arm around my shoulders. It felt as if he imparted some of his strength to me.

I looked up at him as he stepped back. “Do you think it’s worth saying something to the rest of the family?” I asked softly.

Wyatt glanced around. Our siblings were scattered around the room while our mother talked with Derek and his daughter. “That’s up to you. I’ll have your back. But if you plan to say anything to anybody, maybe start with Mom.”

I took a slow breath. “I’ll think about it.”

Just then, Blake appeared, cuffing Wyatt lightly on the shoulder. “All right, dude. You start next month. Are you ready?”

Wyatt held my gaze for another few seconds, dipping his chin in acknowledgment before he turned toward Blake and nodded firmly. “Absolutely.”

Blake pulled him into a back-slapping hug. Blake was so happy Wyatt and Griffin were moving back to Fireweed Harbor. We all were.

“I’m stoked! You’ve got free rein to run the show in the brewery. McKenna handles marketing, so keep her in the loop for anything new.”

Wyatt chuckled just as Griffin made his way over, and the conversation moved on.

Later that night, Jack came over. It was another night when I felt cleaved wide open. I was awake in bed beside Jack, listening to the even rhythm of his breath when I recalled Wyatt’s observations. He thought I was in love with Jack and that I deserved love. What the hell was I supposed to do with that?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jack

“Well?” Derek prompted.

I slid my gaze to my brother. “Well, what?”

“How are you?”

I glanced around our kitchen. Derek was usually up first and always made a pot of coffee. We’d fallen into a pattern of lounging in the kitchen while the sun rose. Charlotte liked to go outside if it was sunny or snooze beside the table if it wasn’t.

Hannah was settling in and had enrolled in school two weeks prior. Our parents were planning to come up for a weekend visit to meet her. She had taken an after-school job at the winery kitchen as a prep cook. Fiona, Blake’s wife, drove by our place every day, so she’d started taking her to school. Hannah had left a few minutes earlier.

“We’ve been up together for an hour. I’m fine. Why are you asking me this now?”

“Because you don’t seem fucking fine,” my brother retorted.

I bought myself a little time by walking over to pour the rest of the coffee into my mug. I rinsed the coffee pot out and called over my shoulder, “Should I make another pot of coffee?”

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