Page 78 of Trip Through Your Wires

“When I was six, I struck out on my first at bat in little league. I was so angry that I threw the bat and it hit my teammate. I will never forget the look on my mom’s face when it happened. I didn’t know the specifics around my birth father then, but I knew violence was not tolerated in our house. So when I did finally learn about him and remembered back to that day, I knew the look on her face wasn’t one of anger but fear. She was scared because she thought I may have inherited that part of my birth father. The one who couldn’t keep his cool and lashed out when angry.”

“You threw a bat when you were a kid,” Jenica shakes her head. “I’ve done it. Every player in the history of baseball has done it at least once. Doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t,” I agree. “But how about putting a guy in a coma?”

“Is that what happened to that kid?” Her eyes search mine.

“No,” I shake my head. “It happened in high school. There was this guy my sister was dating, Gerry Lachance.”

“Like the kid in Stand By Me?” She arches her brow.

“That was Gordie,” I correct with a smile. We watched that movie together once. She loved it, and I did too. “This guy, Gerry, was the high school quarterback. Popular and a total dick. I used to hear my sister fighting with him on the phone at night and see them arguing at school.”

I pause to take a breath, the weight of what happened in high school, far greater than throwing a bat when I was six.

“One night,” I continue, “a bunch of kids from school were partying at that quarry I told you about last summer, and my sister and Gerry were there. He started saying all this shit about how he knew she was cheating on him and that she wasn’t worth it. I overhead and went over to tell him to back off. I was a big kid as a freshman and had no fear, so when he pushed me I pushed him back. Then, he took a swing at me, and I swung back. Only, I didn’t stop. I punched him again and again, until he fell and when he did, he hit his head on a rock.”

Jenica gasps, bringing both hands to her mouth. “What happened after that?”

“One of the kids at the party ran to the pay phone down the road and called 911 and by the time the ambulance arrived, I was already home. My sister had one of her friends drive me, and when they questioned everyone that had been at the party they all had the same story—Gerry picked a fight with me and when he fell to the ground, hit his head on a rock. Of course, when he woke up a week later, he had a different story for the cops and wanted to press charges. But my dad said there were no charges to be filed. Showed his parents the eyewitness statements that concluded their son had started the fight and that it was an accident.”

“He’s right,” Jenica says matter of fact. “It was.”

“That’s the thing.” I look down, afraid to say out loud what I’d thought all these years. “I don’t think it was. That night when I hit Gerry, I felt this deep-seated anger that I’d never felt before.”

“It’s your sister,” she nods with understanding. “You were trying to protect her.”

I reach out and tuck an errant strand of hair behind Jenica’s ear, loving her faith in me, but hating what I’m about to say.

“I was trying to protect her. She’s my sister, and I would beat any guy’s ass who ever lay a hand on her. But you, Sparky. You I would do anything for. Absolutely anything. The idea of anyone hurting you, the idea of you being in danger, it makes me want to tear the world apart, and that’s dangerous because I’ve seen what happens when I feel that way.”

Focusing on school and baseball had always kept me in line. That’s why I had the best grades on the team and was a star athlete. But it was also why I was the guy all the girls wanted.

I was always into girls. Got my first hard-on when I was twelve and had sex for the first time when I was fourteen. But I never felt anything beyond that rush of arousal because no girl had interested me on a deeper level. When there was no interest, there was no connection and therefore, no emotion. It was a win-win.

But Jenica was different. She drew out every emotion in me, including a need for her that was primal.

“Keeping it easy, breezy for everything in life has been the key to balance for me. When there is no emotion life is easy. But you…” My nerves twitch and my body burns with how badly I want her. “You make me feel everything. The way I feel when I am with you is more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt. I have never wanted anyone the way I want you, and that scares me.”

“But your reputation,” her eyes search mine, “all those girls you’ve been with. You don’t feel anything?”

“There is no emotion there,” I shrug. “I get off. They get off. But ever since we met, I haven’t wanted that. I’ve only wanted to feel what I feel when I’m with you. I wasn’t being dramatic when I said you’re the key to the part of me I’ve hidden for so long. On one side, I have this fierce need to keep you safe, and on the other, I feel so much for you. I want to be yours, and I want the world to know you’re mine. I’ve never felt that before.”

She grips my forearms and squeezes.“What if that’s what I want, too?”

“What?” I question not sure I heard her.

“What if I told you that I want you to do all the things you want to do, and feel all the things you want to, with me?”

“You deserve to be cherished, Sparky.” My fingers tingle and my dick twitches thinking of all the ways I’ve dreamed of being with Jenica. “To have a prince not someone who wants to claim and possess you.”

Her eyes dart back and forth, wild and catlike. “What I deserve is the fucking stars. It’s the least of what this world owes me. But right now, I want what I want, and that’s you.”

I swallow deeply, Adam’s apple sliding down, then up. “Come again?”

“I want you to break me, Jake. I need you to take the pieces that still carry the truth of that night and ground them to dust. I want these hands,” she slides her fingers through mine, “to claim me and own my truths. Do you think you can do that, Hot Shot?”

Before the chaos I wanted her, but after the storm, I fell for her. Under that fierce toughness was a girl that could melt your heart. I know, because she had melted mine and right now, that organ in my chest was molten lava. She’d become my kryptonite and I was hers, in whatever way she wanted.

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