“Destroy it?” I pull back. “Why would you do that?”
“Because destruction is in my blood, Sparky. That’s why I need you. You are the one who now owns it.”
Chapter 17
Jake
“What do you mean I own it?” Jenica asks, searching my eyes for an answer she won’t find because the truth of who I am I’ve kept from everyone, including my best friend.
I know how to hide it. At least I did. These weeks without her have challenged that. Actually, the moment I first laid eyes on her, Jenica ignited the spark to a part of me I didn’t think another person could. Only, I didn’t realize it then.
Those first weeks of last summer everything was easy. Her sexy snark, and witty banter intrigued me, and I found myself shamelessly flirting in a way I never had before. Then all that shit went down and things got serious. I didn’t just want to keep her safe out of obligation to my friend and his girl, but to her.
The fiery girl with the acerbic wit and fierce intelligence made me feel things I’d never felt before and ignited that part of me I thought no one could. Jenica challenged my easy going nature and without even knowing it had happened, I fell for her, hard. I wanted to keep her safe and anything, anyone, that had the potential to harm her was my enemy.
Now that I know all the ways we’re connected, I can’t keep that part of me a secret any longer because she is mine. I know it. And I won’t let anything stand in the way. There’s no putting away those emotions she bring out in me, and I don’t want to. She is both lock and key to my Pandora’s box which is why she has to know the truth.
I’m not surprised she kept the fact she used to play ball a secret. Her future was irrevocably changed due to an injury, and I cannot imagine how that felt to not just lose softball, but her dreams of going to college. But as hard as keeping it a secret from me must have been, sharing her truth with me must have been harder.
That’s why I’m going to do the same. Just as she laid her heart bare, I will share my truth with her. One that has shaped every aspect of how I lived my life, including not going after the girl in front of me, the way that I wanted.
“Jake…” She brings both hands to my face. “Talk to me.”
I look up, and take a deep breath, her touch giving me strength. “My dad, Dale, is not my birth father.” Gripping her hips, I hold on for dear life as I plunge into my truth. “He is my father in every sense of the word, but the guy whose DNA I possess was a horrible person. No,” I shake my head, “scratch that. He was a piece of shit. He used to hit my mom and abused her mentally.”
Jenica sucks in her breath but doesn’t say anything. What can she say? What can anyone say who’s heard what I just confessed?
Instead, she drops one hand to my chest, and keeps the other on my neck. “Dale knew my birth father,” I swallow. “They were on the force together. Apparently he was a real hot head. Always getting in trouble for excessive use of force and shit like that. He was also super controlling with my mom. Didn’t like anyone looking at her and was always accusing her of cheating.” I blow out a tense breath and look down. “The man who raised me is nothing like that. He worships my mom and taught me everything I know about manners and respect.”
Jenica squeezes my neck gently, and I look up. “He did a good job because you are one in a million, Hot Shot.”
“He’s the best,” I nod, warming with both her affection, and that I have for the man who raised me. “Dale Chambers is a saint. He saved my mom and sister, and well I guess you can say he saved me, too.”
My jaw tenses, and feeling it, Jenica’s fingers twist the hair at the nape of my neck, as her thumb strokes the underside of my jaw. “Go on,” she encourages.
“When my mom was pregnant with me,” I continue with cautious, measured cadence, “my birth father beat her so badly she wound up in the hospital. She almost lost me, but the doctors said I was strong and I pulled through.” I pause and take a breath, the events of what happened before I was born, heavy, even now. “Dale is the one my mom called when it happened. He came right over and picked up my sister in one arm and helped my mom into his patrol car with the other, then rushed her to the hospital.”
“Your sister?” Jenica’s eyes well up. “She saw what happened?”
“She did,” I confirm, hating my answer. “But she was only two years old at the time and doesn’t remember. Thankfully, neither she nor my momever saw him again. As soon as my mom was released from the hospital, my dad arranged for a transfer and moved us out of the area and they haven’t been back since.”
“Have you ever met him?” Jenica’s eyes search mine.
“No,” I shake my head. “He doesn’t know I survived. Chambers is on my birth certificate. My mom and birth father were never married, but by the time I was born, she and Dale were. He married her so she would have access to his health benefits for me and have a safe place to live. What started as a friendship turned into love. One you would never know began from a place of trauma.”
There is no need to unpack what I’ve just said. I know Jenica understands the double meaning in my words. I can see it in her eyes.
I sit up and wrap my arms around her, laying my head against her chest. She holds me tight and I feel her heartbeat, gentle and strong. “That’s why I’m so protective of my sister, and why I understand the loyalty you have for your brother.”
I stop talking for a moment, the gentle thumping of her heart and cricket’s night symphony wafting in through the crack in her bedroom window, lulling me into a state of calm.
“I had one hell of a role model growing up.” I pull back and look up finding her blue eyes warm and full of compassion. “He helped me become the guy that I am and the man I want to be. But my birth father…he is a part of me, too.”
“No.” She shakes her head fervently. “You are good, Jake. That man, if you can even call him that, was evil.”
“He was,” I agree. “But a part of him is in me, Sparky. I know because I’ve seen it.”
I sit back and she drops her hands to my waist. “What happened?”