Page 44 of Doctor Second Chance

Shep

5:18 pm

I step out of the operating room, peeling off my surgical gown and gloves. The aneurysm clipping was touch-and-go for a while, but we managed to secure it without complications. My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven't eaten since breakfast.

After updating the family on their loved one's successful surgery, I head for the cafeteria. My mind drifts to Elle and our conversation earlier. I'd put myself out there, suggesting we explore dating. It felt both terrifying and exhilarating.

During her coma, I did a lot of soul-searching. Regrets from our past haunted me, and I mourned the lost years. Her brush with death made me acutely aware of these facts, and I didn't want to lose the opportunity to try again if given the chance. Even though I was confident in her recovery based on her trajectory of improvements over the days she was in a coma, the experience shook me to my core.

"Dr. Duncan!" Carly calls out as I pass the nurses' station. I nod and smile, my thoughts still swirling. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you. Any word on Ari?"

"Thanks for asking, Car. I did get word on Friday. She was in a hospital in Houston. She was hit by an oak tree that fell on the house where she was staying. It killed the man she was with, and she is still in critical condition there. It's heart-breaking. I haven't talked to Opie about it yet because I'm hoping she will pull through. I've consulted the hospital there, but she has limited brain activity."

"Oh, my God, D. I'm so sorry. Oh, I don't even know what to say. That is just terrible. Well, I will reiterate: if there is anything I can do to help you or Opie, please let me know."

I am beside myself about the situation with Ari. My heart aches constantly, and a heavy anxiety has taken permanence on my shoulders. Sure, of course, primarily for my son, but also because I care about her as a person. Not to mention, we are really good co-parents.

It's a lot with my lifestyle to give him the parental parenting he needs to thrive. He needs his mom and the extra stability and time she provides for him. I need her to be a better father.

With everything going on with Elle, my mind and energies have been focused on her. I've checked in multiple times with Ari's team there, but she is not my patient, and I can only do so much from two thousand miles away. I can only hope against all hope that she can turn it around.

Through all of the trauma and medical emergencies in my personal life lately, there was a strange sense of relief when I learned of the accident. I was glad that I didn’t have to tell my son that his mother left him. If he loses her, it will be the worst thing he will deal with, I'm sure. But at least he won't have to contend with the reality that his mother chose to leave.

In the cafeteria, I grab a sandwich and find a quiet corner. As I sit, Hunter Parish, my rebel friend who is a general surgeon, waves from across the room. I return the gesture, then turn my attention to finishing my sandwich. I'm sure he would like me to join him, but I have too much on my mind right now to stomach chitchat.

My mind inevitably drifts back to Elle. And our conversation. And the possibilities

We're separated by state lines and consumed by our professions. Plus, I can't forget about Opie. But I meant what I said to her. I am open to exploring long-distance relationships. Maybe that is what I need to ease myself into giving a committed relationship a try.

No other woman I’ve met since her has ever made me want to really try. And now I do want to. To try. With her. That has to mean something. There has to be more than just the prospect of losing her that made me come around to this thinking.

I chew my lunch mechanically, hardly noticing the flavor. Despite the uncertainties, I'm convinced of one thing—I'm not prepared to abandon hope for our connection at this point.

5:55 pm

I make my way back to Elle's room, my steps heavy after a long day of surgeries. I'm on call tonight but want to say goodbye before heading home to Opie. With Ari gone for over a week now—the longest they've been apart—I'm trying to maintain some semblance of routine for him.

As I approach Elle's room, my heart suddenly freezes. Through the doorway, I see a man sitting at her bedside, holding her hand. He is leaning in, his body language indicating intimacy between them. The sight hits me like a punch to the gut.

It dawns on me that in all my thoughts about making amends and exploring a future with Elle, I never considered she might already be in a relationship. She said all of those things to me earlier today, but she probably had more pharmaceuticals in her than a CVS pharmacy. She might not have even known what she was saying.

How could I have been so arrogant?

Devastation washes over me as I take in the scene before me. I've been a fool, letting my hopes run wild without considering the reality of her life in Florida. This man is clearly somebody special to her.

It has been ten years, after all. She is a beautiful, successful woman. Of course, a woman like Elle wouldn't still be single after all these years.

I backtrack quickly, praying no one in the room spotted me. The last thing I want is to create an awkward scene. As I retreat down the hallway, my mind races with questions and self-recrimination. How could I have misread the situation so badly?

7:29 pm

I finish reading the last page of Goodnight Moon to Opie, his eyelids heavy but fighting sleep. Closing the book, I lean down and softly kiss his forehead.

"Alright, buddy. Time to sleep tight," I whisper, tucking the covers around him.

Opie's little hand reaches out, grabbing my sleeve. "Daddy, when's Mommy coming home? I miss her."

My heart clenches. How do I explain this to a four-year-old when I don't even know what's happening myself? I force a smile, hoping it masks my worry.

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