Page 93 of Whatever You Want

“I didn’t expect to feel this way.”

“What way?”

“So weak and hollow.”

“If you didn’t love him then you wouldn’t feel that way. You can deny it all you want but it’s true.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn’t see me. There was no way I could deny it. I did love him, and the regret was killing me. I was ashamed at how I handled things, making his situation all about me. I had no idea why I acted that way, but I’ve had a lot of time to process what I said. And with each passing day, I hated myself more and more.

“I made a mistake,” I admitted, wiping away the tears.

“It’s not too late to fix it.” Her voice was hopeful and full of conviction.

I hoped she was right because I needed to tell him the truth. That I did love him, and I didn’t mean all those mean, hurtful things that came out of my mouth.

There was a knock on my door. I scooted my chair back and squinted out the window.

Panic set in when I saw who was standing there.

“Oh my God! Richard’s here,” I whispered into the phone, hoping he couldn’t hear me.

“What the hell! Don’t you dare answer that door.” Another loud knock sounded through the house as soon as she said that.

“What the fuck do I do?” A wave of nausea hit me. “I thought he was still in jail.”

“I’m calling Marco.”

“Amelia, don’t be ridiculous. Just give me a minute to get rid of him.”

“Ava,” she yelled into the phone as I set it down and hurried through the house. If he came here thinking I would tell him where my mother was, he was going to be very disappointed.

I took in a deep breath and swung the door open. “Richard, what are you doing here?”

“Hello, Ava.” His face twisted into something I didn’t like. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

My hand tightened around the doorframe. “If you’re looking for my mother, she isn’t here.”

“That’s interesting. She’s not at home either.” He sneered. “No thanks to you.”

I swallowed deeply and stared at the man my mother had spent the last fifteen years with. She married him, thinking he would give her comfort and security. Instead, he robbed years from her that she would never get back.

“No, Richard. My mother isn’t home because you allowed your rage to get the better of you. Maybe if you didn’t become so unhinged and addicted to alcohol, you’d still have a wife.”

I nervously glanced over at my phone, hoping that Amelia was still on the line listening.

His laugh was dark, just like his eyes. “You really think I give a shit what you think? You’re only pissing me off and I’m not going anywhere until you tell me where she is.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I tried to hide the tremor in my voice along with my fear.

“Don’t play games with me or I’ll make it ten times worse for her.”

“Do I need to remind you about the restraining order she filed against you?”

“Do you really think I won’t find her?” He tilted his head and stepped forward. “That I give a shit about a fucking piece of paper.”

“You need to leave right now.” I attempted to slam the door in his face, but he kicked his boot out to stop it from closing.

“This is your last chance. Tell me where she is? I’m done fucking around.” I winced at his breath. He smelled like alcohol and stale cigars.

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