Page 150 of Cast in Conflict

“For someone who doesn’t know what to say, you speak a lot.”

“Fine. I don’t know what to say in a tongue that isn’t Leontine. You’ve already talked about how dangerous it is to have a hoard. How difficult.”

Emmerian nodded at the understatement.

“She can’t be part of his hoard. She’s his equal. She can’t be husbanded and protected as if she were a precious and loved child. That would kill her.”

“There are two elements to a clutch,” he replied, his voice much more neutral. His hands, however, were fists. “The first, the most important, is Bellusdeo. There are no elders who would not have approved of her, even had there been others who might serve the purpose of continuing our race. She is strong. She is healthy.

“But the father is of equal import. And of the court—the waking court, the active court—who would be better than the Emperor?”

“Literally anybody breathing. Anyone else would be better.” Kaylin hesitated. “Diarmat would be a disaster. Can you at least agree with that?”

Emmerian nodded.

“Lannagaros is right out—it’d be like sleeping with your father or your uncle.”

He winced but nodded again.

“Sanabalis doesn’t want it. I think you could pressure him into it if Bellusdeo chose him, but—she won’t. He’s like a mini-Arkon. Well, no, I guess he is the Arkon now. He doesn’t have the former Arkon’s affection for her, but I think he could develop it. Over centuries.

“That doesn’t really leave many people. You don’t agree about the Emperor. It doesn’t matter. Helen agrees with me. The Emperor and Bellusdeo would destroy each other—and that’s long before there are babies.”

“This is not about friendship. This is not about preference. This is about the future of our people.”

“Yes, and? Do you think you’re somehow too weak and too insignificant?”

Oh.

“You do.”

He turned away.

“You feel you’re the least important of the Dragons. The least significant.”

He did not turn back.

But Kaylin knew this one. She knew it so well it was painful. He was a Dragon. He was immortal. He was part of the Imperial Court. Her own doubts about her suitability to be a Hawk had plagued her for the early years; sometimes, when she looked at a criminal and saw herself—entirely herself—in their actions, it hit her hard. She was a hypocrite. She had no right to enforce laws she’d broken herself.

And yet, this was the life she wanted. She told herself that because she’d been there, because she’d broken those laws, she understood the why of it; it made her a better Hawk because she could see the humanity in the criminal.

But she didn’t always believe it. Couldn’t always believe it. The doubt was still there, and she could poke at it, pull it out. On bad days she couldn’t put it aside. But the bad days were fewer now. She accepted what she couldn’t change. She had changed what she could, when given opportunity and a semblance of safety.

Emmerian had no reason to doubt himself. He’d done everything, and he’d done it right. Yes, he wasn’t the Emperor—but Kaylin was hugely thankful for that. He was the only one of the Dragons that Bellusdeo almost accepted, and she accepted him because he didn’t press her, didn’t pressure her, didn’t judge her.

No, Kaylin thought, it was more than that. He saw her. He admired what she was: Warrior Queen. She could hold her own against any of them. He accepted her sense of humor, her temper, even her rage.

Bellusdeo knew it.

It was Bellusdeo’s thoughts Karriamis had read. But it was Emmerian’s reaction that had provided the damn Tower with an in, a hint of weakness, a way of reaching Lord Emmerian.

“You...you want this, right?” Kaylin asked.

Emmerian nodded; he did not turn to face her.

“Am I the person you would have chosen to be the Chosen?”

He turned his head, his brows folding.

---