Page 2 of Losing Control
“What?” I reply, quieter than she was in saying my name.
“Finally, she listens,” Kim says in a sarcastic tone. “That’s the third time that I have called your name in the last few minutes.”
“Sorry,” I reply as I chew on the end of my pen.
“What the hell were you thinking about? Or should I say who were you thinking about?” I watch as her eyes glance over to the same place that mine were looking a few minutes ago. Kim giggles as I feel the blush start to creep across my cheeks.
“I wasn’t thinking about anything, or anyone, in particular,” I respond, trying to sound innocent but failing miserably.
“Mmm hmm.”
“I wasn’t,” I insist.
“Lucy, you don’t need to pretend with me. I have known you since the age of fourteen, and I know when you are lying,” she says as the corners of her mouth threaten to pull into a smile.
“Okay, fine,” I admit, conceding defeat. She always has been able to read me like a goddamn book.
“Why don’t you just ask him out?” she asks as if it would be no big deal.
“No way!” I say a little too loudly.
Miriam, sat at the desk to the right of me, looks over and tuts loudly. I give her an apologetic look whilst Kim just glares at her. Kim isn’t one to take notice of what Miriam thinks, seeing as she is well known for being the office busybody. If you want to know anything about anyone in this office, then you just go to Miriam for the details.
“You need to grow some balls,” Kim says, her attention firmly back on me.
“No thanks, I am perfectly fine as I am.”
“Oh come on, Luce,” she says, exasperation creeping into her tone. “You have been single since Tom left you nearly six months ago. You need to get out there and have some fun.”
I grimace slightly at her words.
Has it really been six months? It feels like weeks rather than half a year.
“Kim, it’s not that easy.” This is my usual pathetic answer, and one that I swear has been programmed into me, seeing as I have used it for what feels like the millionth time.
I thought that Tom was the love of my life, my reason to breath, my happy ever after. Of course those illusions were shattered when he went and cheated on me with one of my closest friends. Not that she is a close friend anymore. I can’t even bring myself to say her name.
“Look, I know how much Tom hurt you, but you have to let it go.”
“Easy for you to say,” I reply, a little too harshly and unfairly. It’s not Kim’s fault that I am in this shitty phase in my life.
Kim has been in a relationship with Jeremy for two years, and they are happily engaged. Jeremy was in the same class as us at school, and the three of us have always been friends. It wasn’t until Kim and Jeremy were twenty-five that they finally gave into how they felt about one another. Together they have the perfect partnership, and I am so happy for them, even if my mood right now doesn’t show it.
I feel Kim’s eyes glaring at me and I start to feel guilty about my comment.
“Sorry,” I say with a sigh.
“It’s okay,” she says with a flick of her wrist. “I was there, remember? I saw how his and Carley’s betrayal broke you.”
I physically cringe as Kim says her name.
“I don’t want to talk about her,” I reply sharply.
“It was his fault too, Luce.”
“I know that, but she was supposed to be my friend, and she stabbed me in the back in the worst way possible.”
I need to be free of this pain that crushes my soul every day. I deserve more than this. I deserve to be loved, worshipped, and treated like a queen.
