Page 1 of Losing Control
Prologue
I remember the first hit as if it were yesterday.
The first time that his hand connected with my cheek.
The first time that he caused me physical pain.
The first time that he shattered my already fragile heart.
He preyed on my vulnerability. He took my confidence away from me. He ruined my perfect ideas of a loving relationship.
I let him control me.
I let him abuse me.
I let him break me.
I don't want to be this person.
I don't want to be weak.
I need to save myself, but to do that, I must understand why.
Why did I let him dictate?
Why did I let him hurt me?
Why did I lose control?
Chapter One
At first glance
His eyes met mine from across the room, and his smile made me go weak at the knees. I thought that he was looking at someone stood behind me; I even turned around to check, but there was no one there. My friend, Kim, told me a few weeks ago that he fancied me, but I just laughed at her.
Why would he fancy me? I mean, there is nothing special about me.
I had just gotten out of an unhappy relationship, I was sleeping on Kim’s sofa as I had no home of my own, and I was working as an office temp. My appearance had become a little gaunt over time due to the relationship that I had just come out of, and I hadn’t made an effort with my looks for months.
My long, blond hair was limp, my skin had paled, my cheeks had become gaunt, and I had lost my curves that I used to love so much. But more soul-crushing than that was my eyes. My once bright, vibrant, full of life baby blues were now dull and lifeless. You could tell a lot from someone’s eyes, and every morning that I looked in the mirror, I was ashamed of what I had become.
A shadow of my former self.
A recluse.
A fucking heartbroken mess.
I couldn’t even call myself a hot mess. I had kept the ‘mess’ part and dropped the ‘hot.’
I used to be able to command a room, have men’s eyes following me as I sashayed past them, knowing how good I looked.
It’s amazing how one earth-shattering revelation can destroy you and make you become someone that you despise.
“Lucy,” I hear Kim say loudly, disrupting me from my thoughts. I turn to look at her, my gorgeous brunette-haired, green-eyed best friend. She is the total opposite of me. She radiates beauty, shines like a beacon, and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
We’ve been friends for years, and I thank God every day that she is in my life.
Kim is sat at her desk, which just so happens to be next to mine.
