Page 21 of The Maid

"No but feelings may have." When had he become so wise?

"Well it's in the past." She opened her menu. After she mourned the loss of their relationship, for a long time, longer than was healthy, she had taken those feelings and those memories and put them deep into a locked box in her heart never to be opened again. She'd never been open to a real relationship, even after all these years. And even in her short-lived relationships, the men always said she was closed-off. And they were right, she was. She'd never given herself fully to another person and risk feeling rejected, unloved, and forgotten. All over a stupid --eighteen-year-old kid who'd made her feel so much. No one could ever measure up.

For a moment he stared at the back of her menu and then pulled it away from her. "Addie, I was. I was really in love with you. It wasn't a teenage crush and I wasn't just some horny guy."

"You left." Was all she said before taking the menu back in her hand. She felt the sting behind her eyes and the lump in her throat.

"Baby, talk to me."

"Nothing to talk about. You left. You went on with your life and I went on with mine."

"I had to leave. My parents would have killed me if I'd had stayed."

"Your parents almost killed you anyway. I saw it play out on the rags. When you dropped out of Miami University, their Alma Mater, to go to Notre Dame for football, they disowned you. You could have called me. We could have tried."

"The phone works both ways, Addie. You never called me. I wasn't going to take that risk. Plus," he took a deep breath, "my parents found out about us."

"What?"

"Yeah, my mom knew. And right before I hopped on the plane to Croatia, she said that if I ever entertained a relationship with you again, she'd fire you. I thought of you without a job or a home how would you get by with school? I thought I was making the right decision, especially since I didn't think you wanted anything more than a fling. You didn't stop me from leaving. You didn't say anything at all, in fact."

"God, we were stupid. Why didn't we communicate?" She wiped her tears.

"We're communicating now." A young woman came to the table to take their order. "What can I get you to drink?"

"I'll have a coke, please." Addie said. She always loved soda, he remembered that about her.

"I'll have the same. And also, bring some garlic rolls and a large pizza. Half Hawaiian half pepperoni."

"Sure thing," the waitress said.

"You remembered."

"You haven't been listening, Addie. I wasn't lying. I know Hawaiian is your favorite. I know you had a stuffed frog named Prince. I know you cried when Lily your goldfish died when you were eight and that Lily was your only pet growing up. I know you. I'm sorry I didn't call, Addie. I was young and stupid. I have no other excuse."

He wasn't sure what else he could say. For years there'd been a void. For years he thought of her. But now, in this short time, he realized that void was her. And now, after that heart startling realization there was no way he was letting here go. But the woman was skittish, and he had to proceed carefully, or he'd lose her forever.

He added, “If I could do it over again I—”

“You’d still leave. I know you could never possibly be seen with the maid."

"Addie—"

"It's okay, Gun. Really. Life is crazy that way. If you hadn't left, maybe you wouldn't be this successful guy now. Maybe you'd be under your father's thumb. Who knows? It's not good to live in 'what ifs'." She avoided his eyes, instead playing with a stray thread on her napkin. "What's done is done. Let’s just stop talking about it, okay?”

In an attempt to change the subject to something neutral he decided to finally let her have that business talk. "So, tell me about your master plan. What exactly are you going to do to save me all this money and get me sponsorships?"

She swallowed the bite and wiped the corners of her mouth with the napkin.

"Oh, uh... okay, so I was thinking that maybe you’re right about the cap on your accounts. It's not a viable long-term solution. Until you get a better handle on things—"

"By that you mean, until you think I can handle it."

"Something like that." She smiled—finally! —and then continued. "Anyway, we're starting up some classes, I want you to come in this week to talk with a broker I know about safe investments for some of your money. You have all your money in one account, which makes no sense. Also, you should think about buying a home. You're really just throwing away your money with rent. And then of course, the big one. Change your ways a little so that the paparazzi stops following you. Stops seeing you as the irresponsible, unreliable party guy. Once we can refocus your image as the great football player that you are, a man kids can look up to, that other athletes want to emulate, then we can work on those sponsorships. I've been talking to Jeff about that and he has some ideas too but right now you're too volatile to get them to use you."

"So, you want me to do normal things, like going to the movies instead of a night club."

"Yes, absolutely. Seeing you with friends and a glass of wine at a charity event instead of with a bunch of people at the beach with a beer."

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