Page 4 of Angel's Forever

It was then I realized. He had worked out why I had asked him here. He knew I was going to tell him I was going back to Sicily.

“I guess starting our own family didn’t help. We can’t change the past. Plus, we were young then. Sit down, have a drink with me, and we can talk.”

I sat down in a chair and poured us both a large drink. I had a feeling I would be seeing the bottom of this bottle tonight, especially as I had vowed never to tell him about my feelings. But seeing him looking at me with tears in his eyes, I knew I had to be honest. He placed the photo back down and sat down in the chair next to me. I passed him his glass and he took a sip. I decided I wasn’t going to give him a chance to speak first because I knew if he did, I wouldn’t be able to be honest.

“Nico, I need to tell you something, and I want you to just listen.”

I put my hand up when he went to speak. He may have been my boss, but he was also my friend, and right now that was what I wanted him to be.

“I can’t carry on like this. I’ve spent years of my life watching you and Hudson happy together while my heart was breaking in two. Now I have to watch both of you with Gabriella. What makes it worse is you ask me to look after her. I just can’t do it anymore. My heart just cannot take it. I need to leave you to be a family together. Not get in your way any longer.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears myself now as I knocked back the drink in my hand. I looked down at the empty glass as the heat from the bourbon went down my throat and warmed me from inside before I said the words I’d sworn would never leave my lips.

“I love you, Nico. I always have, but I was too scared to say it. Not only that, but I love Gabriella as well. I can’t be around you anymore. I need to leave because it is killing me inside to see you so happy when I can never have that happiness.”

I sat there waiting for Nico to say something, anything. I didn’t dare look up and see his face. Couldn’t stand to see the anger and disgust on it. I knew he had never felt the same way about me, so I knew that telling him would be the end of our friendship. I flinched as I felt his hand on my leg, but I was shocked when he spoke because he was now directly in front of me.

“Gino, look at me.”

I continued to look down at my glass, unable to meet his eyes. He took the glass from my hand and placed it back on the table. I felt his finger under my chin as he gently raised it to bring my face to meet his. The tears were still pouring down both our faces. He gingerly placed his hand on my face, and try as I might, I couldn’t help leaning into his touch, savoring the feel of its warmth radiating into my skin.

“Do you know how long I have waited to hear you say that? To finally hear the truth I have known all along? I have always had feelings for you, Gino. At first, I thought it was just the feelings two brothers would have for each other. Then I realized it was more than that. That I had strong sexual feelings for you. But I thought you were straight, so I never acted on them, and when I realized that you weren’t, it was too late. I already had Hudson, and I couldn’t turn my back on him.”

I saw now that we had both made mistakes in our lives. Perhaps if we had both been honest with each other, things could have been so different. But it was too late to turn back the clock. I couldn’t continue my life as it was now, especially knowing that the man I loved but could never have also loved me. He was in a relationship now, and I would never do anything to break that up, I cared too much to do that. I went to speak, but he stopped me.

“I haven’t finished yet. I also need to tell you about Rosa. She has feelings for you too, stronger than those of just a friend. There is a reason why we have been asking you to come around and spend time with us. All of us have realized how you felt about us. We wanted to coax you out of your hiding place so you would admit those feelings to us. Please come to our place tonight so we can all sit down and talk like adults about it.”

I sat there, dumbfounded. What was there to talk about?

Surely they weren’t going to ask me to become part of their family unit. I was almost certain that Hudson wouldn’t agree to that. Why would he? He had everything he could want already: a man and woman to give him what he needed. Why would he even want me?

I really wasn’t sure this was a good idea, and I could see my heart getting torn to pieces, and I wasn’t sure I could handle that. I looked at Nico with hope in his eyes, and for a moment I thought about agreeing. I knew I couldn’t, though.

He must have seen the hesitancy in my eyes. He started to move toward me, and before I realized what he was about to do, his lips were pressing against mine. Instinctively, I raised my arms and placed them around him, running my fingers up into his hair. I had kissed plenty of men and women in my time, but none of them evoked the desperate feelings I had inside me right now. The carnal feelings of want and need that were coursing through my veins.

I moved my head slightly and ran my tongue over his lip to see if he would take things a step further. My head was screaming at me to stop, that this was wrong, but my heart told me that if I was to just be able to kiss him this one time, I would at least know.

Nico instantly opened his mouth and deepened our kiss, but it wasn’t as frenzied as I had always imagined our first kiss to be. It was slow and sensual, as if we were about to make love to each other. I felt his hand rest in my hair as he held me exactly where he wanted to be. I could feel myself start to get hard just at his touch, and that was when I felt as though a cold bucket of water had just been chucked over me.

I couldn’t let this happen. I had to stop it so he didn’t lose what he already had. I reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and looked into his lust-filled eyes. Things would have gotten out of control if I hadn’t stopped there.

“Nico, you can’t do this. You have two people who love you, and I’m not one of them. You could lose everything, and I couldn’t stand that to happen.”

He shook his head as he spoke. “When are you going to realize that we want you in our lives, and more than just my underboss? Please, come upstairs tonight to talk. If, after that, you still want to leave, then so be it. I cannot stop you, after all. But for once think about yourself and what you would be throwing away. This is a chance for you to have everything you have ever wanted. At least hear us all out.”

I knew I owed that to him. I needed to listen to what they all had to say about the situation, including Hudson, before I made my final decision. However, Nico also had to do something for me.

I nodded my head as I spoke. “I at least owe you that. I will come up this evening to talk. But I need you to do something for me as well. You have to be honest about what happened here today. You need to tell Hudson and Gabriella that we kissed. It’s only fair that they know. I don’t want to start any form of relationship, if I decide to, without them knowing that.”

He lowered his head slightly, but quickly raised it and met my eyes. “I owe you that much as well. I will speak to them when I go upstairs.”

“Thank you.”

He got up from his position on the floor and held out his hand to help me up, pulling me into a hug. We had done this so many times before, but this time, it felt so much better. This time it wasn’t just two friends or colleagues hugging each other in a greeting. This time it felt real, as though I could finally have what I had wanted for most of my adult life.

He pulled away and smiled at me. “We’ll see you tonight, then. Around seven okay for you?”

I nodded, and with that, he let himself out of my apartment.

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