Page 38 of Angel's Forever

I knew he was only trying to make me feel better, but it really wasn’t working. I knew it wouldn’t have happened if one of them had gone with Gabriella.

“It wouldn’t have happened, though, would it? You wouldn’t have left her alone in that clinic. You would have at least stayed in the waiting area or reception for her to come out. You wouldn’t have walked out of the clinic and gotten beaten to a pulp, leaving her unprotected. This was all my fault, Nico. I will never forgive myself if something happens to my tesoro.”

I could see that Nico was going to try convincing me again that it wasn’t my fault, but I knew it was. The tears started to fall from my face as I thought about what could have happened to her in two days with Vincent. There was one question I needed the answer to, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.

“Nico…was she pregnant? Was she carrying Hudson’s or your baby?”

I saw the pain in his face as a tear started to fall. He didn’t have to say a word; his demeanor told me everything.

He looked at me and nodded as he looked back down at our hands. “Yes.”

Just one word made my whole world fall apart. She was pregnant and with the man who had already taken three unborn lives from her. She wasn’t safe, and the baby wasn’t safe as long as she was with the devil known to everyone as Vincent Forbes-Stuart.

I had been the one to lead her into his hands. I was the one who had failed her. As far as I was concerned, the nurse might as well give me an overdose right now, because I didn’t want to live knowing I had been the one to cause her so much pain.

If I did live and by some miracle Gabriella and the baby were saved, then I would leave and let her, Nico, and Hudson live their life together. They didn’t need me. They had been perfectly happy together before I came into their relationship, and I was sure they would be again.

“Nico, when I get out of here, I am going to do everything I can to help you, Hudson, and Viktor find Gabriella. Once we have found her and I know she and the baby are safe…I will leave you to live your life without me. I can’t trust myself to protect them anymore. I failed at my first attempt. I don’t want to fail again.”

The tears were pouring down both our faces now. The pain I was feeling inside far outweighed the pain from my injuries. I knew that pain would leave me eventually, but the pain of losing Gabriella, Nico, and even Hudson would never go away. That would be a wound that would never heal.

That was what I wanted, though. I wanted that pain so I could remember how I failed her.

I couldn’t look at Nico. I didn’t want to see his heart breaking at the thought of losing me for real. We had all agreed, though, that if any of us weren’t happy with how the relationship was going, we would end it, and that was exactly what I would do, whether we found Gabriella or not. I would walk away knowing that I was doing the right thing for them.

I felt Nico squeeze my hand, I guessed in desperation for me to look at him, but I just closed my eyes and let the tears continue to fall.

“Gino, I can’t let you throw everything away when you have just felt happy for the first time in your life. How do you think that would affect Rosa? I don’t give a fuck about how it affects me and even Hudson, but what about her? Do you love her that little that you can just walk away from her?”

He was hitting below the belt, and he knew it. To drag Gabriella, my tesoro, into this to try to get me to change my mind.

I couldn’t hold back any longer. My eyes flew open and I turned to face him. He flinched back as soon as he saw the look in my eyes. The look I only used when I held a gun in my hand and was pointing it at the fucker I was about to kill.

It had been years since I’d had to do that, but the instinct had never left me. The thought of ending someone’s life – playing God and deciding whether someone lived or died – had always been in my veins. He knew that look because the first time I had met him was in that exact situation, with him as my target. I had let him live that night, something inside telling me he would be an important part of my life someday.

“You know I fucking love her. I love you as well. But. I. Failed. Why can’t you understand that? How can I trust myself to be around her and keep her safe like I promised when I know I have broken that promise and given her to that monster? It’s for the best. You know it, and I know it. There would have been a time when you would have had one of your own men killed for fucking up like I have.”

He couldn’t look me in the eyes because he knew it was true. I was done talking for the moment. He didn’t want to listen to what I had to say, and what he was saying to me made no sense. I needed to get everything straight in my head.

“I’m going to rest now. If you want to head home, I’m sure I will be okay with Ivan and Alexei here.”

I didn’t wait for him to answer. I just closed my eyes and allowed the thoughts to run around my head. All I knew for certain was if we did find Gabriella, I would spend one last night with her, Nico, and Hudson, and then I would walk away from them. Forever.

Chapter Twenty-One

GABRIELLA-ROSE

I'D BEEN LOCKED UP in this bedroom for two days. Forty-eight hours since I’d last seen the three men I loved.

One good thing had come from this: my morning sickness seemed to have disappeared. I wasn’t sure if that was just from the fear of being back with Vincent or if it was permanent, but at least for now, I was able to get a full night’s sleep without waking in the morning and throwing up everything I’d eaten.

It was late in the evening, possibly early hours of the morning. I lost track of the time in here. I didn’t have anything to do, just sit here with my thoughts running around my head. I spent most of my time alone thinking about the three men that I loved. I wondered what they would be doing right now. Had Gino survived the attack against him and gotten to the hospital in time?

I also spoke to my baby. I wanted them to know how much I loved them, and that I would do anything I could to keep them safe. I just hoped I was able to keep that promise.

I had only seen Vincent at mealtimes. The rest of the day, he kept me locked up in here, while he either sat in the living room drinking himself into a stupor or snorted that shit up his nose. At least he didn’t come in when he was in a drunken or high state. I knew that would be a recipe for disaster. For me, anyway. As yet, he wouldn’t even let me leave this room to eat. He would bring me food and water and then leave and lock the door. He had left a small fridge in the room with bottles of water in it, so I would always have fresh water to drink.

I wasn’t sure if this was a ploy to try to make me love him again. I could never love the man who had taken the only thing I’d ever wanted in my life three times. Three times, he had ripped my hopes of motherhood from me. I hoped I could survive this ordeal long enough that it wouldn’t be a fourth.

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