Page 61 of The Shadow

Chapter 22

Harvey

“I’m gonna propose to her.”

“I know.” Jimmy keeps his focus on his form in the mirror, my fingertips resting just below his elbows as he presses the dumbbells in his hands up over his head with a grunt.

“That’s it, come on, full extension. Don’t pussy out,” I tease him.

“You fucker.” He laughs, letting the dumbbells fall to the ground at the end of his set.

“You know?”

“Come on, man. I’ve known for a while that you’re in love with her. I think it’s pretty damn obvious, but after yesterday, fuck.” He laughs. “The chemistry between you two is undeniable.”

I give him a sideways look. “Blaire have you watching those reality dating shows again?”

“Fuck, that obvious?” He jokes. “But seriously, man, don’t overthink it. You two are total opposites in almost every way but I think that’s what you needed. You always gravitated toward the women you knew wanted nothing more than something casual because you were too scared to commit. Now you’re ready and you’re finally accepting your own feelings, allowing yourself to really fall for someone.”

I step back and sink down on the bench next to me. “Shit. Maybe you could have told me those insights about myself a little earlier?”

“Nah, you had to figure that out. We all did.”

If we had the ability to look back at ourselves, I’m sure we’d all say we’re unrecognizable now. Just a few short years ago, we were so focused on having a good time in life and living for the next big case or the next hot fuck that the idea of falling in love and starting a life with someone felt like a prison. But now, the thought of living without Aspen by my side sounds like the worst kind of hell on earth I could ever imagine.

“Think she’ll say yes?”

Jimmy pauses as he reaches for a weight. “Are you serious, man?” He chuckles and shakes his head. “That woman wants nothing more than to spend her life with you. The way she was looking at you yesterday, that’s the same look I had when it all became clear to me with Blaire.”

“Yeah, I have this feeling, like”—I try to think how to describe it—“every time I look at her or think about her, it’s like it just makes sense. I can see the future, us raising our kids in a house like yours, but it doesn’t scare me. It just feels natural. When I think about a future, I see us, no questions.”

“Well then, there’s your answer. Now, can we please finish this workout so you can go ask her?”

“I didn’t mean I was asking her tonight.”

“Why not? You got the ring?” He tosses his towel over his shoulder as I take a seat to do my own set of shoulder presses.

“Yup.” I tighten my grip and engage my muscles, lifting the one-hundred-pound dumbbells straight up and over my head.

“Then why wait?”

I think about his question as I pump out the last eight reps of my set.

“Shouldn’t I have some elaborate plan? I wanted it to be special for her.”

“Depends.” He shrugs. “Is she the kind of woman who would want a bigger gesture? If so, then yeah, do it for her, go all out. But if not, if it’s something you want to share intimately and you just can’t hold it in, do it. You won’t regret asking her whichever way you choose.”

I put the weights down, the burn of my shoulders letting me know it’s time to call it a day. I don’t think Aspen would ever say she didn’t like the proposal if I went with a huge gesture, but I think I know what would make her happy. Something genuine and real, stripped of any pretense.

“You’re right,” I say, toweling off my forehead. “I know how much she enjoys those small moments between us and I think she’d enjoy it more if it was something like that, from the heart, you know?”

Jimmy nods, a knowing smile on his face. “Exactly. You know her better than anyone. Go with your gut and remember, what she’s going to love and remember is you opening up to her in that moment, being vulnerable, telling her exactly what she means to you.”

After I finish my workout, I head to the showers. I can’t shake Jimmy’s words. Maybe he’s right. What am I waiting for? I can already picture her face when I ask, her eyes lighting up, a smile taking over her face.

I finish up my shower and towel off, saying bye to Jimmy before grabbing my bag and heading out to my car. I open the glove compartment, removing the small pink velvet box that’s tucked into the corner. It feels like it’s been burning a hole in my car since the second I bought it. I found it tucked away in a small antique store in the West Village. It’s petite and unique, exactly like my girl.

I snap the lid closed and slip it into my pocket, firing up my car and pulling into traffic to rush home to her. The drive is a blur of nervous energy and excitement. My heart thuds louder with each passing minute, and by the time I arrive, I’m practically shaking.

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