Page 114 of Vicious

Chase catches my gaze and runs his hand over the red marks. “I guess I should invest in even more padded manacles. How did you even manage this?”

“Desperation,” I mumble, trying for deadpan but instead sounding dreamy.

He laughs and settles against me again, pulling the covers over us and setting one arm across my stomach.

It would be so easy to drift off now, but as his hand settles over my stitches, I realize there’s something I should say.

Something I need to say.

“Wo ai ni,” I whisper, stumbling over the words.

Chase tenses. “What?”

I worry that I got the tones wrong, and I ended up saying something entirely stupid like ‘I short you.’ I cautiously open my eyes, and I see Chase looking at me with a vulnerable expression.

“Wo ai ni,” I repeat. “That’s not me quoting you. That’s me saying…” I swallow hard. “I lo… I lo…” Why is it harder to say in English?

Chase smiles at me, and I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him look so open and happy.

“Wo ai ni,” Chase repeats. After a beat, he adds, “It’s a little ‘cringe,’ isn’t it? Wo xihuan ni is more appropriate.”

“What? You’re the one who said it that way first!” I protest, slapping my hand against his chest. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to do more than that, so my hand remains there.

“I did,” Chase answers softly. “I love you, Ah-May.”

There’s a strange sort of flutter in my chest, and I bite my lip. “I… I know,” I stumble. “Even if you are a dick.” But would I really want something else?

Without him, I’d have been single or with someone utterly vanilla—someone who respected my needs and wants—and I’d have been bored or worse. It’s fucked up, and I know it, but I can’t change the facts.

Even if they’d been into things like the needle play, they’d probably have been professional, clinical even, and not fiery and passionate like Chase.

I guess he was right about me.

I do need the thrill, the pain, the push and the pull.

“I am an asshole,” Chase agrees, kissing my cheek. “And I look forward to tormenting you for many, many years to come.”

I think I can live with that.

Epilogue

CHASE

I enter May’s sewing room, carrying the letter I’d brought with me from work. I’m not surprised to find May working diligently on a costume from some older anime. I’ve gotten used to the sounds of her sewing machine and occasional cursing when things don’t quite go her way.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” May says, glancing over her shoulder at me. “I finished the male costume. Try it on so I can see if I need to make any more adjustments.”

I smile indulgently at her. “You already adjusted it, Ah-May. And whoever you sell it to might not even be my size.”

“What? No, I’m not selling it. You’re going to model it with me for a photoshoot. I found somebody local who will do a professional shoot. That should help market my costume making skills in general.” She removes her foot from the pedal and swivels her chair toward me. “Don’t you know anything about online marketing?”

Her banter amuses me, considering how little she knew about marketing just a few months ago.

“Just let me read over any contracts before you sign anything,” I say.

I glance down at the letter I’m still holding. I’d love to just set it aside for another day, but May wouldn’t forgive me if I hid this from her.

“Before I put on a silly costume, though?—”

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