Page 9 of Ruining Vanessa

She shakes me off, not looking at me. “What do you want?” she mumbles, her voice flat.

My heart is aching for her, but there’s nothing I can say to make things better. “I just… I want to apologize. I know it’s not enough, and I know it doesn’t help, but if I’d known what was going to happen, I’d have never gotten you in trouble. I won’t do it again.”

She finally glances at me, and my heart breaks all over again at just how listless she looks.

“You didn’t know? That pissing off Giulio would have consequences?” she asks flatly. “All the warnings everybody gave you weren’t enough? Or when he made me get back on the floor after that nasty customer? Or when he served you up to some client of his?”

I blink back tears, and they have nothing to do with my own pain. She’d hate me even more if she knew there hadn’t even been any client that time, that the worst part of that night had been when Giulio had terrorized me with the snake.

“I thought he’d punish me,” I say softly. “I never thought he’d take it out on you or any of the others.”

Stef’s lower lip trembles. “Traci was livid. Because Cat stepped in to help me. They kept calling you naive and stupid.”

“I am,” I mumble, looking away from her. “I didn’t…” The tears start to fall, and I don’t bother to brush them away. “I’m so sorry, Stef. I really, really am. I thought he’d hurt me for it. It never even crossed my mind that he’d take it out on you.”

It’s almost a relief when Stef starts crying too. “Vanessa… you tried to leave. I was worried about you, and then you ran? I thought they’d kill you for that.”

I bite my bottom lip. “I went… I went to the police. I thought they’d help us, all of us. I thought I could get us all out of this.” I sob, remembering all too well how I’d felt when Slayer had been the one to step through that door. “I really… I really thought I could.”

Stef lets out a sobbing laugh. “You… You can’t trust the cops, Vanessa. They’re all corrupt dicks. Where the fuck did you live before all this?”

With my head in the ground, obviously, because there had been so much I hadn’t been willing to admit even to myself. I can’t tell her that my family is all mafia, too, because she’d think I’m even more stupid.

My sister never would’ve gotten herself into this. She’d rescued herself from a similar situation, and she’d survived the near-marriage to Pavone. I know she’s back with Victor Corvi and his men, but… She’ll be fine, because she’s always fine.

And she’ll know better than to go to the police.

“In a fantasy, apparently,” I mumble bitterly. I wipe at my tears then set the tray down. “Come eat with me,” I invite her. “There’s more than I can handle anyway.”

Stef sits down on the edge of the bed next to me. “Thanks. Um. I know… I know you were only trying to help. Even if I have to ask you to please not from now on.” She picks up a piece of fruit and quickly downs it. “Also, what is this food even?”

I glance at the try, my body still shaking with a mixture of sobs and laughter. “Some of Giulio’s stuff? That looks like an egg white omelet. He’s a weird foodie. I bet he’d fuck his meals if he could get away with it.”

That startles Stef into laughing properly. “No! He seems… normal? When he isn’t pissed off.”

“Not when it comes to his food,” I say, offering her a tentative smile. “He gets so into it, and it’s never normal stuff. Like he’d die before he’d buy strawberry jam. It’s all weird stuff, like rose petals and hibiscus. I don’t even know what all of this is.” I feel self-conscious talking about the food, because it only reinforces how damn spoiled I am here.

“It tastes good though,” Stef says, taking some of the omelet. “I like the hint of spice.”

I eat a few bites for myself. Of course it does taste good, because Giulio wouldn’t send subpar food. “If you want spice… Damien eats really spicy things. Unbearably so. Meanwhile, Slayer’s favorite foods come in bland and also greasy but still somehow bland anyway.”

It feels strange to be sharing information about these awful men, but I’m glad that I can entertain Stef like this, and she seems eager to hear what I have to say.

It’s the most fun I’ve had in days. I slow my eating pace just to prolong the conversation, but the plates are empty soon enough.

Stef looks at me for a few seconds, then sighs. “I should take that back and help everybody with clean-up.”

“I’ll help,” I say instantly, maybe a little too quickly, because she stares at me. “I need to get out of this room. I’m not going to make a run for it, I’m not going to get anyone in trouble. I just really, really need to get out of here for a little while before I go crazy.”

I can see her hesitation, but she slowly nods. “Okay. They said it was okay to let you walk around a bit. Just as long as there’s always somebody with you.”

She pulls a small key out of her shorts pocket and reaches down to unlock the cuff around my ankle.

I let out a sigh of relief. The cuff hasn’t been on long enough to leave a mark, but I could already feel it chafing a little despite how well padded it is.

“I was going to help clean the dressing room. Wipe the mirrors and tables, organize stuff.” Stef takes the tray and gets up.

“I’d even take scrubbing toilets at this point,” I mutter. Not that I want to, but I’d do next to anything to walk around for a little while. “Not that I’ll tell Paul that.”

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