Page 31 of Ruining Vanessa

“I still don’t know that you answered mine honestly,” I point out. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What do you want to do instead?” Giulio’s hand moves a little lower. “And I’m always honest.”

I fight the urge to grimace. I don’t want him to get any ideas. I grab his hand, trying to keep it from sliding down even more. “I wasn’t good enough for him, all right?” I respond sharply, and I shouldn’t be so fucking surprised to find tears rolling down my cheeks. I’d cried plenty after he broke up with me, after all. “I wasn’t what he wanted.”

But he’d been content to keep using me even after we’d broken up, something my sister had been absolutely furious about. For a while, I was half-convinced she was going to go off and confront him behind my back.

Giulio pulls away and gives me a strange expression. “Not good enough for him? What the fuck does that mean?”

I give a noncommittal shrug. “You said so yourself. I’m too tall. Too flat. Too boring.”

He spins me so we’re looking directly at each other, but I avert my gaze.

“No, I did not say you were too tall. I just said you’re a great height. I definitely don’t think you’re too flat, because in case you haven’t noticed, I really dig your body type. And trust me, if I actually thought you were boring, not even Damien could have convinced me to keep you around.”

I still don’t look at him. “Look, it’s no big deal. I am what I am, and I just wasn’t what he wanted. He let me down gently enough.” After we’d started having sex. After I’d given him my virginity. After I’d started to really like him. “So yeah.” I shrug as nonchalantly as I can, but my shoulders are too tense for it to be convincing.

Giulio doesn’t say anything for long enough that I get worried. I dare to peek at him. His face is only highlighted by the red light of the terrarium, but there’s a terrifying grin on his lips.

“Sure. No big deal. You said his name was Brad? And you went to… Benton U, right?”

I don’t like the look on his face. My sister would probably gleefully plot his demise with Giulio, but I’m just… not like that. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him just because I wasn’t his type.

Even if his words had hurt so much.

“Chad,” I lie with as much conviction as I can muster. “But I’m not giving you his last name. For fuck’s sake, you’d think you cared about me or something with how pissed you’re getting about this.”

“Right, so this Brad guy, what’s he look like?” Giulio takes my hand and finally leads us out of the reptile room. “Your height, possibly an inch or so shorter, I bet. The kind of guy who can’t handle a lady who’s taller than him. I bet he had a small dick too, right? Smaller than Slayer—who isn’t actually small, let’s be real here, but it’s hilarious how pissed he gets when I bring it up.”

I breathe a sigh of relief when we exit the room, but I’m still tense from the line of questioning. “I’m not answering your questions. I’m ready to go back to bed.” I start toward the bedroom, and I remember I’m going to have to figure out a new sleeping arrangement. Damien seems like he sleeps the heaviest, so he’s the one I want to sleep by.

But something that surprises a laugh out of me is that now there’s plenty of room on both sides of Damien and Slayer, because they’re practically cuddled up against each other in the middle of the bed.

Giulio covers his mouth to suppress a laugh of his own. “Fuck, where’s my phone. I need a pic of this.” He lets go of me and walks to the nightstand, picking up the phone lying there. There’s a brief flash of light as he takes a picture.

Neither Damien nor Slayer stir.

“You want to spoon Damien or Slayer?” Giulio asks me. “I don’t care which side I sleep on.”

“Damien,” I say, hoping I’m not making the wrong decision. But Slayer seems like he’ll snap awake the second someone lies down next to him, and I don’t want to be trapped in his arms again.

“Sure.” Giulio walks over to the other side of the bed, grabbing the sheet that had pooled near the foot of the bed. He carefully sits down next to Slayer’s sleeping body. “I think the last time I cuddled with Slayer, he’d been stabbed. He’s gonna love waking up like this.”

I can’t suppress my smile. Oh, yeah. He’s going to love waking up between Damien and Giulio, all right. It’s all worth it to lie next to Damien, just for that alone.

I just hope I wake up when they realize they’re cuddled close enough to be lovers.

8

DAMIEN

I park my car in the lot behind Ntimacy and finally pick up my phone, which has been buzzing with texts from Giulio for the past hour.

I know they’re from Giulio, because he’s the only one who would bother me this incessantly even after I’d texted that I was driving.

There are several photos included in the long text chain. They’re all identical except for the filters and overlays.

It’s the photo of me and Slayer sleeping next to each other. In one version, Giulio stamped hearts all around us. In another, he did a horrible edit job to make it look like we’re almost kissing. One has sparkles.

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