Page 108 of Ruining Vanessa

Vanessa flinches, her cheeks turning pink. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know,” she says, a little defensively.

Yeah, she just wants to know what she can do to keep me from turning my anger onto her.

I know on some level that this is absolutely not fair to her. She hasn’t done anything wrong. She doesn’t control when they eat, or if Giulio kicks me out of the bed—though she’d probably have made the same choice. She didn’t, though. This is my quarrel with Giulio, not Vanessa, and I want to have a decent evening to make up for the shitty day I’ve had.

“Just a rough day at work,” I mutter. “You don’t really want to know the details. I deal with shittier people than myself on a daily basis.”

She doesn’t comment on that.

This is a bad idea. I should just bring her back and let one of the guards watch her… but no. The idea of leaving her alone with one of them just brings rampant jealousy back to the surface, and no matter how much I hate it, I can’t do a damn thing about it.

We leave Giulio’s fancy neighborhood and end up in mine. Rush hour traffic is a bitch though, enough that I almost want to turn on the sirens just to get home at a reasonable rate. It’s not worth the hassle though, and the car ride gives me more time to try to calm down.

Or it gives me time to get more pissed off.

“What did you do today?” I ask, even though I know I’m going to hate the answer.

Vanessa grimaces. “Doctor’s appointment,” she says.

I’m sure they did that as a big, happy family, too, with everyone crowding around to fawn over the mother-to-be while I dealt with pimps and paperwork. “Yeah? How’d it go?”

“Not too bad, I guess…” She trails off.

“What?” I ask, glancing at her while I stop at yet another red light.

She shakes her head. “I just wasn’t comfortable with it.”

Rage and jealousy threaten to boil up within me again at the idea of anyone else touching Vanessa, even if it was a doctor or a nurse. “Damien and Giulio were there?”

“It was just Damien,” she says. She pauses, then slowly adds, “And he… likes that sort of thing.” She shudders.

Yeah, it doesn’t surprise me that Damien would get off on something like a medical visit. “Everything good with the baby?”

She bites her bottom lip, quiet for a moment. “Yes,” she finally says. “Everything looks good. The heartbeat is strong. They took blood and all to make sure everything’s okay. There’s another appointment for an ultrasound.”

“Oh.” I don’t really know what to say to that, and it’s my turn to fall silent. Neither of us talks the rest of the way to my apartment. I get out of the car, going around to let her out like I’m a gentleman, and she even takes my hand to let me help her out of the car. It’s a small thing, but I like it.

Fuck, what is wrong with me?

I lead her into the building, heading to my apartment. Once inside, I toss my keys onto the table. I stare at her, unsure of what to do next. I want to take her to my bedroom and fuck her, but I don’t trust myself. I’m too keyed up, and if something happened to the baby because I was careless, Giulio really would block me out of their lives. Hell, I don’t want anything happening to the baby. I want to see her belly swell, to know there’s a new life in there, and for her to eventually produce a child that might even carry my DNA. It’ll be Giulio’s, sure, but…

“Do you want me to fix you something to eat?” she asks after a moment of fidgeting beneath my stare.

Maybe watching her be all domestic in my kitchen would help my mood. “Yeah, sure,” I say. Not that I have much on hand. “You can make me an omelet.” There’s at least enough shit for that.

We go into the kitchen, and she starts to dig things out. I help her find the frying pan, getting things out of the fridge. Eggs, onions, bell peppers, mushrooms… I clumsily chop some of them up. I’m no chef, but it’s just eggs.

I sit down while she starts to do the actual cooking portion, watching her.

“This how you cooked for Giulio and Damien?” I ask. Apparently I just want to poke at all my sores.

“No,” she answers quietly. “I chopped and mixed stuff while Giulio directed. But apparently my chopping skills are better than Damien’s.” She bites her lip, like she’s trying to hide a smile. “And Giulio threatened to pour Damien’s spice packets down the sink.”

It would’ve been heart-warming and funny if I’d been there, I’m sure, but it does nothing to lift the clouds from my dark mood. “Yours, too,” I say, trying to fight off the feeling. “Since Giulio said you’re starting to get spicy cravings too.”

Vanessa nods, glancing a little uncertainly at me. “It’s weird. It’s not stuff I’d normally like, but I can’t seem to get enough of it.”

“You hungry again? You can fix something for yourself, or I can order something,” I say.

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