Page 106 of Ruining Vanessa

I grunt. The guy had deserved it. He’d had the audacity to pimp out girls on Giulio’s turf, and when we’d gone in to arrest him, he’d been in the middle of beating one of them. Normally, that wouldn’t have bothered me. I’ve never much cared before.

But all I could see was Vanessa’s face. She’d have cared.

Fuck, I don’t even know what’s going on with me. After Giulio had kicked me and Damien out of the bed the other night, I’d been all out of sorts. Oh, sure, he’d said we could stay and watch, but I hadn’t liked the feeling of being excluded. I’d been the one to take Giulio down to rough Brad up. I’d deserved to be inside of her as well, a part of the intimacy.

The idea that Giulio might cut me and Damien off completely is not a pleasant one, and it’s not even about the sex. I don’t know what it actually is, though. I can’t figure it out.

“Graham?” Tiago prompts when I don’t answer right away.

“Yeah, sorry,” I say, forcing myself to think about the case instead of Vanessa. Tiago would laugh and laugh if I told him I had a woman at home, especially a pregnant woman. He’d never believe me, either. I’ve had girlfriends before, but never anyone serious. “But he was a pimp beating a helpless woman, and he didn’t instantly surrender. People can freak out about that all they want, but I’m not gonna feel sorry for making that guy pay.”

“The captain’s gonna call us in if you keep doing it though,” Tiago points out, sighing and leaning back in his chair. “Don’t need another fucking lecture about correct procedure.”

Detective Kawano passes our desk and waves to us, a quick goodbye. I check the clock on the wall—5:45pm already, damn. I’ve been sitting on this report for at least half an hour, and all I’ve added is…

fuck off giulio she’s not just yours

Jesus fucking Christ. I delete everything, save the few bits of the report that are salvageable, and turn everything off.

“I’m leaving,” I say, shoving away from my desk. “Fuck. I just need…”

I need to get her out of my head. I need to get them both out of my head. I’m not going to get down like this because of a woman. Because of Giulio. I’ve never gotten upset about being denied a woman before; I could always get another one. They don't usually say no to me. It’s not like I’m bad-looking, and while my cock might only be average, I know how to use it.

Tiago nods and gets up too. “Sure. Want to hit up The Web again? I bet we could find somebody for you, too. I call dibs on Chantal though.”

The idea of hitting up a strip club is so unappealing, though. I can’t take out my frustrations on some random stripper, and just watching someone else be off limits to my touch… No.

“Nah. I need something a little more fulfilling than a striptease,” I say, and that’s honest, at least. But maybe it’s just a matter of the person giving the striptease…

“Then let’s go to a bar, get a few beers and see if any of the ladies there are looking for fun. Which they will be, when they see us.” Tiago glances around the open office. “Hey, Davidson, want to come out for drinks with us? Graham needs to get laid.”

“Why invite me, then?” Davidson responds. “I’m not fucking him!” He’s laughing though, already pulling his coat on. “Tell you what, I’ll be a good wingman for you. I won’t even tell the chicks about your tiny-ass cock.”

“Jesus, what is wrong with you people?” I explode before I can catch myself. “If you’re not sporting a foot-long dick, you’re suddenly small these days?” My defensiveness is going to make it sound like I really do have a tiny dick. I force myself to calm down. “You’re just jealous because I don’t need to brag about my size to get a woman.”

Tiago and Davidson are both staring at me, letting me know my attempt to deflect hadn’t worked.

“Uh, maybe you should just go home,” Tiago finally says. “You got a tub? Bubble baths are, I swear, actually really nice and relaxing. I think you need that more than the fuck.”

Davidson nods along. “Yeah, don’t be one of those workplace stress casualties, Graham. They’ll make you take psych evals and deem you unfit for work, because we all know you wouldn’t pass.”

I nearly growl at the thought of that. I’m just fine. There’s nothing fucking wrong with me. I’m just a little irritable. “Shove your bubble baths,” I mutter, but there’s no real venom in the words. “Fine, whatever, a beer and a fucking bath, and I’m sure I’ll come back tomorrow and tell you what a miracle cure it was.”

I grab my stuff so I can get out of there without any more ribbing, or god forbid, friendly concern.

Once I’m in my car, I swap phones. I stare at the contacts list for a minute, then stab my finger at one of the numbers. It rings, and I wait for Damien to pick up. With any luck, Vanessa’s still there.

With any luck, Giulio hasn’t made her completely off-limits to me.

“What?” Damien asks, sounding just as irritable as I am. “If you want permission to take Giulio on another field trip, the answer is no.”

“I don’t fucking want Giulio. You can deal with him and his bullshit,” I snap at him. “I’m coming to get Vanessa.”

There’s a long pause, and I’m already imagining how I’m going to beat Damien bloody if he tries to deny me.

“Okay,” Damien says, a little steadier. “I need to run some… errands with Giulio anyway. She’ll be better off with you than one of the men.”

Jealousy surges through me even more strongly. Damien would leave her with one of the guards instead of calling me to take her for a little bit? Christ, are they completely cock-blocking me at this point? “You can always call me to take her if you need a break,” I say testily. “I’ll be there in ten.”

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