Page 64 of Ruining Vanessa

I wish I could make Vanessa see what I do in Giulio. Then she wouldn’t have wanted to deny him. Then she’d be happy to have even a few minutes of his attention.

But I doubt she’s in any place to truly appreciate him, not right now. I let go of her and grab a loofah and shower gel.

“Here. I’ll wash you.” I rub the loofah on her exposed shoulder, kissing it once I’ve rinsed the soap off.

She’s quiet now, as though afraid that if she keeps talking, I’ll get angry at her. She’s like a limp doll as I start to bathe her, and it worries me a little. She’d been so fiery only moments before, but it’s like she’s deflated.

“How’s the accounting going?” I ask, hoping to change the subject. “Have you noticed anything that Donny and I missed?”

It takes her a moment, but she blinks at me before answering slowly, “Something’s wrong. Totals aren’t adding up right. It’s just a few numbers here and there, almost like someone’s just dyslexic in places, then there’s just… I can’t be sure. I don’t really have many receipts or things, obviously, so I’m just guessing.”

That’s not reassuring at all, but I am happy that Vanessa has been trying to figure it out. “I’ll get you more information,” I say. Then I push on her shoulders. “Lie back so we can soak your hair.”

Vanessa nods and leans back a little, though she’s tense, almost like she expects me to push her down into the water.

Part of me wants to do it. I want to see her struggle for air. I want to be the one to control her breath and have her thank me for the gift of air afterward.

But I simply direct her to tilt her head back and help soak all of her hair. There’s so much of it, halfway down her back at least, and it’s silky smooth to the touch.

“Did the shampoos and soaps I gave you help?” I ask while I pour shampoo into my palm.

“Yes,” she murmurs. “Thank you. They smell really nice, and my hair feels soft again. I didn’t realize how dried out everything was.”

I should’ve given her nicer bath products before. She’s too special to use the crap the Ntimacy girls get.

I start massaging the shampoo into her scalp, making sure to coat every last strand of hair. Vanessa shudders under my touch, but her eyes flutter closed too.

She deserves to be pampered sometimes. I’ll get her more bath products, and maybe I can convince Giulio to move Vanessa away from the club. I don’t trust her not to attempt to run, but she does have the GPS tracker inside her now, and maybe…

Maybe Giulio’s little stunt has scared her enough that she won’t try it again.

Vanessa lets out a soft sigh as I keep deftly massaging her scalp and running my fingers through her hair. I’m careful not to snag any tangles, wanting this to be enjoyable for her. She’s so tense, and it’s understandable, but I don’t like it.

“Do you think you could behave if I arranged for you to have a full body massage?” I murmur as I help her sit up.

Her eyes dart towards mine, and she nods without even seeming to need to think about it. “I’m not going to misbehave again. I’m not going to do anything wrong. I’ll be good. I promise.”

“I’ll arrange something then. Let’s rinse your hair now, and I’ll get the conditioner in.” It would have to wait until she healed, but if she can behave, I can give her that gift.

Vanessa lies back again, eyes closed, and I rinse the shampoo out. Her chest is half above water, her nipples dipping in and out with her breaths.

I run my knuckles down her face and to her neck.

Just a small squeeze…

No.

I urge her upright again so I can continue washing her. She makes a contented sound while I massage the conditioner in, soft and pliant when I have her lean back to wash it all out.

She did need this. She needed… She deserves…

I smile to myself.

She deserves better than any of us, probably. But I’m too selfish not to keep her.

If I wanted what was best for her, I wouldn’t have drawn Giulio’s attention to her.

Now that I have, we can never let her go.

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