Page 46 of Ruining Vanessa

I don’t really care if he thinks I’m cute at all, but I don’t say that. Instead, I let him guide me toward the door, ducking my head as he leads me into the hallway.

The floor in the halls isn’t as disgusting as in the main room, at least, although I still grimace when we go down the stairs. There’s an employees-only hall with a door that leads to the back parking lot.

Giulio doesn’t even pause here, fully expecting me to step onto the cold asphalt barefoot. I keep my eyes glued to the ground, hoping to avoid the worst of the dirt and sharp objects. At least it’s during the day, when I can see what I’m stepping on and around.

The car Giulio takes me to isn’t the nice sedan from last time, but a large SUV with dirt-stained wheels and mud along the undercarriage. Giulio opens the back door and pushes me in. “There’s a blindfold in the back seat. Put it on.”

I startle as I lose my balance, more falling into the back of the SUV than actually getting in. I sit down and reach out for the blindfold, picking it up and staring at it. “Is this really nec—” I start to ask, but I catch myself. What’s the point in arguing? Instead, I put the blindfold on, even going so far as to check to make sure I can’t see anything around it. It’s suddenly very, very dark, and I feel claustrophobic.

The door shuts behind me, and I hear Giulio getting into the driver’s seat. “Make sure to fasten your seatbelt! We wouldn’t want you hurtling through the windshield in case of an accident.”

I wish I could glare at him, but it’s pointless with the blindfold anyway—plus, it’s probably not the best idea when he already has something planned. I settle back into the seat and pull the seatbelt across my chest and waist, clicking it into place after a few blind tries. I want to ask again where we’re going, but it’d be a waste of words.

Giulio starts the car, and immediately some pop music in a foreign language begins to play.

“Y’know, I’ve really gotten into K-Pop recently,” Giulio says as he starts driving. “What kind of music did you listen to, before we took you out of your boring life and into this exciting and fulfilling world?”

I’d give anything to go back to my boring life. There’s nothing exciting or fulfilling about the life they’ve brought me into, and he knows it. “Do you always have to mock me?” I ask, feeling surly and not particularly in the mood to play along with his games.

There’s a sharp edge to his voice when he answers. “I don’t know, Vanessa, do I? Because you didn’t value it when I was nice to you, so I might as well just have fun.”

I flinch. All right, so it’s better to have him asking me questions and pretending we’re getting to know each other. “I like all sorts of music,” I say, a little hesitantly. I know he probably thinks I’m into classical or pop. “I like alt rock, mostly.” It’s been forever since I’ve been able to listen to music of my own choosing, and I wonder what new songs I’ve missed from my favorite artists.

It’s such a weird thing to care about all of a sudden.

Giulio is strangely silent after that, and I wonder if I’ve said something to annoy him. Maybe it’s better this way, though. I’m tempted to remove the blindfold to check where we’re going, for all the good it would do in a large city I’ve never properly visited.

“Where do you think we’re going?” Giulio suddenly asks. “It’s not my condo.”

The abrupt change in topic startles me, but then, I’m not sure what else we’re supposed to talk about. “I don’t know,” I say. “I’ve never really been good at guessing things…” I pause, then add, “Especially when it comes to you.”

“Hah. Damien wishes I were predictable. But y’know, if I were predictable, most of my old man’s enemies would have offed me already.” Giulio laughs briefly. “Do you think you’d do better with Romano? His son was very into you that night you decided to be a fucking idiot.”

I can feel the heat in my cheeks, but he’s not wrong. I’ve made a few mistakes.

“…I should be more specific,” he amends, “You’ve been an idiot quite a few times already. The night Stef got gangbanged.”

He didn’t really have to remind me. I know when I met Romano’s son, even though I can’t for the life of me remember his name. I don’t want to think about Stef being so horribly abused, about the aftermath, about what it had driven me to do…

“No,” I say quietly, and it’s true. I don’t think I’d be better off with them. I hold value to Giulio because of my womb. He and Damien want children from me. They’ll want me to raise those children, too. The other mafia man, on the other hand? They’d probably just use me and discard me after a little while, and I have no idea where I’d end up.

I realize after a while that the sounds of the city have disappeared, and we’re no longer stopping and making turns as often as we had before.

“Are we leaving New Bristol?” I ask, turning my head to the window despite the blindfold.

“You figured that much out.” Giulio drums the steering wheel loud enough for me to hear. “Y’know what’d be funny? If I took you to your old college campus and paraded you around as you are. I hear frat boys love taking advantage of vulnerable women.”

That wouldn’t be funny at all, but there’s no need to say that aloud. Giulio knows that. He just has to try to needle me, though, and I feel more stubbornly determined not to react because of it. I know better than to say he wouldn’t, because that very well might be exactly what he’s doing.

But maybe he’s taking me to Benton City. What would I do if it turned out he’d sold me to Victor Corvi and his men? I’d be able to see Lucia, at least, though I don’t know what would happen to me after that.

It doesn’t feel like a very good alternative either.

Thankfully, Giulio stops talking after that. I have nothing but my own thoughts and anxieties to keep me company, and the ever-growing dread as the trip stretches out longer and longer. Wherever we’re going, it’s not good.

We make a turn, and the road gets bumpier. I grip the seat and try to tell myself that it’s fine. This can’t be Benton City. There are no unpaved roads around there.

Imagining what kinds of places do have unpaved roads doesn’t help calm me down.

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