Page 34 of Whispers of the Water

I opened my mouth to tell him he had nothing to be sorry for, but before I could, he was gone. My head fell into my hands. What had I done? He’d finally let down some of his walls and given into what we both desperately wanted, and I’d rejected him. At least, that’s how he was probably perceiving it, because I had done nothing to correct him. I’d promised him I wasn’t going anywhere and that he could trust me. I’d reassured him that if he gave me the chance, I’d prove opening himself up to his feelings would be worth it. Yet when he’d made progress in allowing those feelings to take root, I’d grabbed hold of the roots and yanked with the little effort it took to say, “Stop.”

I’d hurt him.

Anger gripped my heart tightly as I leapt off the counter and turned toward the sink. “Why did you do that?” I shouted at the last few drops of water in the bowl. “Nothing was wrong! Why did you react? I don’t understand!”

I collapsed to my knees and rested my head against the cabinets. I was frustrated, confused, and so angry.

Angry at the water.

Angry at my secrets and lies.

Angry at myself.

I hated that I found it so hard to be open. Here I was, trying to convince Rune to be honest with himself, yet I couldn’t do the same.

I was Water Fae.

I was the Princess.

No amount of avoiding water or lying about it would change who I was. I had to let go of the human version of myself, because that girl didn’t exist anymore. She never had. If I wanted Rune to open up and come to love me the way we both wanted, I had to be honest with him and myself. If he were going to love me, he would have to love me as the Water Fae Princess.

As painful and dangerous as it may be to come clean, I couldn’t hide anymore.

I had to tell him the truth.

Tonight.

*

Freshly showered and clothed, I stood outside Akira and Bassel’s room. My new found resolve to come clean acted like armor against the doubts, fears, and worries trying to pierce through me. I could do this. I was a damn Princess for fuck’s sake. Granted, I had no idea what that truly meant or how to be one, but that was another problem for another day. Right now, I had to focus on taming the heart of my fox, which started with the truth.

Taking a deep breath, I poised my fist to knock when the voices on the other side of the door made me pause. Leaning against the wooden frame, I listened to what I recognized as Rune and Akira.

“Here’s some water,” Akira said. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong now? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

There was a pause before Rune said, “I’m such an asshole.”

“Did something happen?”

“I pressured Bria. That’s what happened. She wasn’t ready, and I made her uncomfortable. I’m so fucking pissed at myself! How could I do that to her? After all she’s been through? God, I can’t even face her. I’m such a bastard.”

I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle a gasp. Rune thought he had forced me into moving too quickly? My God, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I wanted him. I was the one who’d initiated our physical direction. Sure, I thought he could’ve taken what happened as a rejection, but I didn’t consider that he might perceive it as his forcing me. Hearing how much he loathed himself right now over something he wasn’t guilty of shattered my very soul.

I moved to go into the room and explain everything to him when two sets of pounding feet came barreling down the hall. Newt and Greshim nearly crashed into my legs when they stopped running, and their smiles were nearly contagious as they looked up at me.

“Bria!” Greshim said. “We’re glad we found you. Do you want to come play with us and see our room now?”

I glanced back over my shoulder at Akira’s room. I couldn’t hear their conversation anymore, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to, either. Rune had said he couldn’t face me right now, so maybe leaving him to Akira’s reassurances would be best. Plus, I couldn’t deny the twins’ need to play.

Turning back to the boys, I nodded. “I’m ready. Lead the way.”

I followed behind them, their fluffy fox tails wagging happily as they went. We bounced down the stairs, and as soon as we reached their bedroom floor, a monster of a man approached from the other end.

As soon as the boys saw him, their faces lit up, and they ran toward him.

“Papá!” Newt shouted.

“You’re home!” Greshim cheered.

---