Page 33 of In The Shadow of The Wolf

“I was born here in Lonepine and have lived here my entire life. My father and mother were both wolf shifters and part of the Lonepine Pack, just as I am.” He paused when the waiter brought their drinks and didn’t resume until he was out of sight. “My mother died when I was born, so I don’t have a memory of her except for what people have told me.” He fidgeted for a few moments and then looked at Henry with sadness in his eyes.

“My father remarried when I was seven. He married a human woman named Joan Klingensmith. She and I didn’t get along. She felt I was a constant reminder of my mother, which drove her crazy. My father loved my mother very much, and I believe he married Joan because he thought I needed a mother’s influence. He never realized that Joan hated my guts.”

“Is she the reason you don’t like humans?”

“Yes, she was a cruel and hateful bitch, but only when my father wasn’t around. She could fake it like the best when he was around; otherwise, she treated me like shit.”

“I’m sorry she behaved like that, and I’m sorry she made all humans look bad in your eyes,” Henry spoke his thoughts. “Where is she now?”

“Dead.” He saw Henry’s shock, so he explained. “No, I didn’t kill her.” He smirked. “My father walked in on us one day as she was beating me raw with a belt. He was supposed to be out of town for a couple of days, but his meeting was canceled, and he came home unexpectedly.”

“Your father killed her.” Henry’s brows leaped to his hairline in shock.

“No, but I’m sure he wanted to. She was right, I was a constant reminder of my mother, which was why my father adored me.” He smiled wide with satisfaction. “He threw her out and got a divorce. I heard a few years back that she died of a heart attack. Apparently, she got remarried and, from what I heard, was just as hateful as ever. You don’t live on hatred without it taking a toll on you somehow.”

“What about your dad? Is he still alive?”

Terry shook his head and looked down at his drink. “No, he died last year.”

“I’m sorry for your loss; I truly am.” Henry wanted to reach across the table and take Terry’s hand but thought better of it. He may not welcome such an open display of affection. “How old were you when they divorced?”

“I was twelve.”

“Sounds like you had an awful few years, but you knew an abundance of love and support before that time and after.”

Terry smiled again and reached over, taking Henry’s hand and squeezing it. “I did.”

Their dinners arrived, and soon they were lost in the flavor and satisfaction of a good meal. When they were finished, Terry ordered two more drinks. “Tell me about your life Henry.” Henry shook his head.

“Maybe next time.” He didn’t want to get into it tonight. He was surprised at how closely their experiences were, except that Terry had a parent who actually gave a damn. Henry had no one; there had been no savior in the mix for Henry.

“Tell me something. Where do you work?” Terry wanted him to talk. He wanted to learn something personal about his mate.

“I’m a self-employed accountant; Grange Accounting at your service.” He answered with a small smile.

“Wow, that’s impressive.” Terry looked as if he was going to lean over and again take his hand, but at that moment, another couple entered their area, and he quickly pulled back. “Well, if you’re ready, maybe we could go for a ride, and I’ll show you some of the area.” Henry wasn’t sure how much of the area would be visible, considering it was dark outside, but he knew Terry needed a reason to leave. He didn’t want to stay now that others were there and could be watching him.

“Sure, that would be nice.” Henry decided to just go along. He had no arrogant ideas of this whole thing being easy. Terry was unsure and, in the closet, and would very likely stay there, mate or no mate.

They drove slowly through town as Terry pointed out a few places of interest. It was nearing ten when he stated that perhaps they should call it a night. Henry was surprised by the sudden halt to the evening but not adverse to it.

“I had a good time, and thank you for dinner. It was delicious. I’ll see you around, Terry.” Henry gave the standard pleasantries, and he attempted to get out of Terry’s truck once they reached the Ranch. Suddenly he was being forcefully pulled back in, and the truck took off. “What the … what are you doing?”

“I can’t just leave you here. You won’t take my calls tomorrow, and you won’t talk to me if I try to see you. I have to make this right; I just have to. I want to hold you so close I can’t breathe, but I also want to run away so fast I create a vortex.” Terry began pounding his palms on the steering wheel as he drove down the dark, dusty road. “I want you so bad, Henry, yet I am so fucking scared of getting caught with a human man.”

He was so torn and so upset that Henry reached over and tried to calm him by laying his hand on his thigh. Terry covered his hand with his own and let out a deep sigh. “Let’s go to the park and just sit by the fountain for a while and talk.”

“Okay.” Again, Henry did not hold out much hope that anything would be resolved or decided. After the commitment ceremony for Ronan and Molly, he had every intention of heading back home. Terry had only a few days to come to terms with his mate being human and a man or deny him and move on. He cared for Terry, but he would never let himself love another closet case, never again.

They drove into the darkly lit area and parked near the fountain. Terry jumped out, quickly rounded the truck, and opened Henry’s door before he had a chance to do it himself. “Thanks.” Henry unbuckled and slid out of the seat, landing on his feet in front of Terry. Terry took his hand and led him over to the seating by the fountain that was hidden by the tree line.

“I’m sorry, Henry. I let you down with my insecurities. That couple came in, and I instantly started wondering if they knew me and if they were aware of you and my mind just ran with the rest in the worst direction possible.” He gripped Henry’s hand tighter, pulled it over into his lap, and held it against his thigh.

“Don’t stress about it, Terry. If it’s meant to be, it will work out. If not, then we can go our separate ways. I live in Washington State; it’s not as if we will be running into each other all the time and making things awkward.” Henry sighed deeply. He needed to reassure Terry, but he was also riddled with sadness at his words. He wanted Terry more than his next breath. Terry was his mate; he believed that now. Henry was indescribably drawn to him.

Terry pulled at his very soul and made him want to never leave, never turn away, and forever be by his side. But if Terry couldn’t be with him in the open and act like a partner, he would leave. Henry would find the strength to walk away, because to stay would be a torture he wouldn’t endure.

“It’ll get better; it’ll get easier, Henry, I promise.” Terry sounded slightly panicky, but there was nothing Henry could say. This was up to Terry; it was his choice whether or not they had a future. Terry took his hand again and squeezed it tightly, before bringing it to his lips for a kiss that went on for a long while. “Will you meet me for lunch tomorrow?”

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