Page 4 of Regret

“Can you tell me what happened?” Slim asks me, keeping his voice gentle as if I’ll cower away from him if he raises his voice.

“It took me a long time to even start getting over Valor after he moved to Pine View. Honestly, I’m still not over him and I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. Anyway, I met this guy one morning when I went out to get a coffee after taking the girls to the summer camp they were in. I had the time and didn’t want to make a pot when I got home from taking the girls to school. Anyway, this guy started talking to me in the line as we waited to order. I really wasn’t interested in him and got a weird vibe from him, but I still made small talk as we waited. To me, there wasn’t any harm in doing that because I wasn’t ever gonna see him again. You know I don’t usually go out for coffee or anything.

“Suddenly he started appearing at work and kept asking me out. Every single time I told him no. Finally, I gave in for some stupid reason. There were a few days between when I agreed to go out and when I’d finally have to do it. No, I don’t have to go out with him, but I agreed so I kept my word. He kept trying to get me to send him sexual messages and I refused. I could tell how angry he was even through text messages when I wouldn’t send him the kind of messages he wanted. That’s not something I’ve ever done and I wasn’t about to start with a man I got such a weird vibe from. Honestly Slim, I didn’t want to go out with him, but I had already told him I would and couldn’t back out.

“The day of our date finally arrived and he took me to Bottom’s Up. Stryker and Killer were there when we showed up. I tried to ignore them the best I could because I knew I’d made a mistake in letting this guy pressure me into going out with him. Anyway, he got really mad when I refused to drink alcohol. You guys know I don’t drink and I wasn’t about to start that night. I’m not gonna turn into my mother and one of the ways I know to stop that from happening is by not drinking. He got loud when he got back from the bar because I was leaving. Told me I was a slut and his cock was better than the biker cock I’d been riding. That’s when Stryker and Killer stepped in to get me away from him. They sent me home and beat the hell out of my date.

“I didn’t see him after that. Even before, I didn’t go anywhere other than work if I’m not here or at the clubhouse helping the ol’ ladies. I thought everything was done with him and that he took Killer and Stryker beating the hell out of him to heart and would leave me alone. That’s not the case. He was biding his time and showed up here. I told him you guys would kill him if he touched me and was told that none of you can touch him. So, he beat the fuck out of me and I have no doubt he’s not done with me yet. I mean I somehow managed not to pass out until he left the house, but this guy doesn’t seem like the type of man to take too kindly to giving up when he wants something. I’m so sorry, Slim,” I tell him, crying as pain and fear fill me because I know without a doubt the club is going to take this on their shoulders and will seek vengeance for what’s been done to me.

“You got nothin’ to be sorry about, darlin’. The girls have cleaned up the house and thrown out everythin’ that was too damaged to keep. Valor’s been stayin’ here on the couch and Chrome and Court have been outside the house. The four of you are never left alone if they need to get rest, the other guys come over and hang out so you girls are safe here. I know it’s not gonna feel that way for you any longer. We can talk about movin’ you once you’re healed. Now, can you give me the guy’s name? I can have Fox start lookin’ into him with Kingston so we can figure out how to move forward with this situation,” Slim asks me, a tender look on his face as concern fills his eyes and I play with the thin blanket covering me.

“His name is Conrad. His last name starts with an R, but I’m not sure what it is. I’m sorry I can’t give you more than that. He refused to give me his last name for some reason,” I inform Slim as I sink down in the bed further, completely drained after telling him what happened to me.

“It’s okay, darlin’. I’m sure Fox can pull up security feeds and get the information he needs from them. Both outside the house and at Bottom’s Up. You worry about relaxin’ and gettin’ rest. I think Shy is gonna take the girls tonight so you won’t have to worry about them. They’ve been tryin’ to get in here with you every time they think Valor isn’t watchin’. She’ll keep them occupied and let you heal in peace,” Slim states, standing from the chair and looking down at me. “I know you don’t want Valor here with you, but he has to be. I’m not gonna get into what happened between the two of you because it’s none of my business. What I will say is the man has been distraught since showin’ up here. He was ridin’ so fuckin’ fast, he almost made it in half the time it should take for the trip.”

Without another word, Slim leaves me alone in the room and I close my eyes as the tears continue to roll down my face. Knowing that Valor risked his life to get to me when Ava called starts to thaw the ice that I’ve encased my heart in. The only reason he showed up is because the girls needed him. There’s nothing between the two of us and that’s how it will remain. I can’t give him the power to break me all over again. That’s the last thought I have before sleep pulls me under once again.

Chapter Three

Valor

SHY AND SLIM have had the girls at their house for the last few days so Savannah can relax and not put her focus on them. We all know they’ve been her entire world their entire lives. She would damage her own body and not properly heal in order to be there for them. None of us want her to suffer more than she already has, so Shy came to get the girls from the house and I made sure to let them know that I’d take care of her the best I can and not let anyone get close to her for any reason. Honestly, the house is too fucking quiet now that they’re not here. I love spending time with the girls and have missed them more than I let myself realize. Ava, Miracle, and Chloe have a way of worming their way into your heart and sinking their claws into you. I never stood a chance against the three of them. Just like I never had a chance of getting sucked in by their big sister. Savannah is mine and I’m gonna make sure she knows that shit the second she’s healed enough for us to talk.

Every single time I enter the bedroom, Savannah yells at me to get out of the house and leave her alone. I’m not about to do that, so I ignore her and continue on with what I’m doing. Usually it’s bringing her a meal or medicine. Shy has been the one to clean her up because I won’t push Savannah like that. Not after everything she’s been through. She deserves to have a woman clean her up and help her change. The only thing I do when I’m in the room is check her wounds to make sure the ones I can see aren’t getting any kind of infection. Doc has her on an antibiotic, but those don’t always work. Shy checks the wounds under the bandages and her clothing when she cleans her up.

Grabbing the tray with the lunch I prepared for Savannah, I take it in the room with her medicine. She’s awake and staring at the ceiling as I move in the room and set the tray down next to her.

“Do you want me to help you sit up?” I ask her, watching as she rolls her eyes before turning her attention on me.

I’ve missed seeing her eyes looking at me. Savannah has the most unique colored eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re hazel with a deep green mixed in. If the light hits her just right, they seem to glow and look into a person’s soul to discover all of their deeply hidden secrets. Her long blonde hair is currently up in one of those messy knots and I know from seeing her with it down that it’s even longer than the last time I saw her. It was pretty damn long when I left Benton Falls and now I’m sure it reaches her ass. A generous ass that always had my attention in the past. Her usually flawless, tanned skin is paler than I’ve ever seen it before. The darkest parts of her body is where the bruises are. Today they’re a deep purple that’s almost black with yellows and greens mixed in. Savannah has gotten a tattoo or two since I left and I can’t wait to see what they are in detail.

“No. I want you to leave me the fuck alone, Valor. You’ve never had a problem doing that over the last five years. It shouldn’t change because I got my ass beat now. You can go back to Pine View and forget all about us again,” she states, pain filling her voice as I look deep into her eyes and see the turmoil filling them.

“I never once fuckin’ forget you or the girls, Savannah. The four of you have been on my damn mind every fuckin’ day over the last almost six years since I moved. You’re the one who said you wouldn’t come with me without givin’ me a reason why. Yeah, I got one now, but it’s not the time to get into that shit. I’m not gonna argue with you when you’re fuckin’ hurt,” I tell her, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down from the anger rising in me. “You were never just a notch on my fuckin’ bed post. For you to even think that shit means you really don’t know me at all. So, were you just fuckin’ playin’ me? Fuck! This is why I didn’t wanna do this shit now. Chrome will be inside with you. I gotta go to church,” I tell her, leaving the tray next to her as I leave the room and close the door behind me.

Savannah can rile me the fuck up with nothing more than a few words. She’s always been really good at getting a response from me. Even when I was fighting so hard against what I was feeling for her. I didn’t want to add to the pain she was going through because of her mother being a selfish cunt. That’s a word I loathe, but it’s exactly what her mother is. Any woman who sells their children to human traffickers for money or a drug fix is the lowest form of scum on this Earth. I want to get rid of all of them so the innocent children can remain that way for as long as possible.

“You good?” Chrome asks, walking in the house so I can head over to the clubhouse with Court.

“Not at all. I just took Savannah’s lunch into her with the pain medicine and antibiotic. Please make sure she takes them. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Maybe we’ll order pizza for dinner tonight. I’m not in the fuckin’ mood to cook and I have a feelin’ it’s only gonna get worse once I get through this church,” I tell him honestly as he nods his head and makes his way to the hallway where the bedroom is that we’ve put Savannah in.

Leaving the house, I meet Court on the small porch and we head over to the clubhouse without saying a word. I’m hoping the walk can help calm me down, but if anything every step only adds to the anger already coursing through me. Court knows me good enough by now to realize I don’t wanna talk or hear anything he has to say. I have to work through this shit on my own before I talk about what’s going on. Right now, all I’d do is bitch about the woman who’s driven me insane for so many years now.

Walking into the clubhouse, I’m slammed with a sense of nostalgia that always seems to wash over me the second I step through this door. I grew up here and always felt it was home. As I look around the common room, I expect to see my dad sitting with the guys as they have a cold beer. You could always hear him talking over everyone else when he was telling stories of the club and what they got up to over the years. Pain fills me because I’ll never walk through this door and see him at one of the tables with the guys and ol’ ladies again. His voice will never fill this room and make everyone around him pay attention because he knew how to embellish a story like no one else. And every time he repeated a story, it became more outrageous than the last time you heard the same tale. That was just one of the many sides of him that not many people got to see.

“I’m right here, Valor. You got this,” Court says, pulling me back from memories of my dad as I blink my eyes rapidly and force the pain down deep inside me.

“Thank you,” I whisper as several of the boys rush up to greet me.

I take a few minutes to talk with them as they ask what Pine View is like and how the club is doing. They’re all so damn excited to patch in and move down with Vault and me. I can’t help but let their excitement wrap around me and hold off the anger and pain. These boys are definitely the future of the club and I can’t wait to hear about them Prospecting and getting their full patch. Not everyone from Pine View will be here that night, but Vault and I will definitely show up to watch them go from Prospects to full patch members.

When Slim enters the common room, I tell the boys I have to go for now as they all run outside to do whatever it is they do these days. Court and I make our way to church and hand over our stuff to the Prospect collecting the phones and weapons. Heading inside the room I spent time in, I take a seat at the opposite end of the table from Slim. I’m no longer a member of this chapter of the club and Slim doesn’t have to let us sit in on this meeting. Thankfully, he is because he knows Savannah is my girl and I will find out what I want to know one way or another. If someone here doesn’t tell me, then I’ll just have Buzz figure out what Fox and Kingston are looking into so he can start his own search back home. Plus, Slim would never exclude us from church when we’re here to help protect Savannah and the girls.

“How you guys likin’ Pine View?” Playboy asks as he walks in and takes his seat before leaning back as if we’re not about to discuss one of the girls under the club’s protection getting hurt in her own home.

“I love it, honestly. It’s bigger than Benton Falls and has more to do. The residents of the city are startin’ to come around even more to us since they know we’re the ones responsible for gettin’ the drugs outta there. Business is good and I really can’t complain. Got some houses goin’ up behind the clubhouse for us to live in so we’re not all in the clubhouse unless we’re on lockdown or somethin’ like that. Vault and Annabell want their own space now and I don’t blame them. In a few weeks I’ll be wantin’ my own space too,” I answer Playboy as the guys around the table start laughing their asses off knowing what I’m talking about.

“You think she’s gonna go with you now when she didn’t almost six years ago?” Killer questions me, a smile on his usually blank face.

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