Page 5 of Regret

“Yeah, I do. Especially if we can’t get our hands on whoever did this to her. Yeah, you guys are right here, but if she doesn’t let you know what’s goin’ on, you can’t protect her and the girls. I’m hours away in a town this fucker doesn’t know anythin’ about. She’ll go with me just to get the girls in a safer location. Then, I can fix what happened between us because she finally filled me in,” I answer him as my smile returns when I think about what I’m gonna do when I finally get my hands on Savannah again. I’ve missed her more than I ever thought I would and wasn’t lying when I told her that.

“You’re in for one hell of a fuckin’ ride,” Slim says, entering church and closing the door behind him.

“Wouldn’t trade it for anythin’ in the world either. Those girls are mine and I don’t give a fuck what anyone has to say about me claimin’ that. They’ve been mine since you put me in that house with them. Don’t even act like you didn’t know what the fuck you were doin’ either, Slim,” I say, laughing because of the smile he’s giving me. Yeah, our President likes to think we don’t know what he’s up to when he tries to play matchmaker. We all know exactly what he’s doing and he still manages to make it happen.

“Well, it’s fuckin’ taken you long enough, Valor. Good to see you’ve finally pulled your head outta your ass,” he says as we all laugh for a minute before he calls church to order. “As you all know by now, one of our own was hurt. A guy beat the fuck outta Savannah in her home. Thankfully the girls weren’t home when it happened. But, she’s worried he’ll come back. And, no one is gonna get away with touchin’ a woman on our watch. Most of you haven’t seen her since the attack, but it’s brutal. She’s got open lacerations, bruising over most of her body, fucked-up ribs because the asshole dumped one of her bookshelves over on her, and she’s in pain. Here’s what we know so far.”

Slim informs us what Savannah told him and with every word out of his mouth, I see fucking red. This asshole pressured her into accepting a date with him, got pissed when she wouldn’t sext with him, and then treated her like shit when they went out on a date. What really pissed me the fuck off is that he waited and let her think everything was over and she’d never see him again before showing up at her house unannounced, calling her a slut, and then beating the fuck out of her because she left the date early and didn’t choose him. Some guys are real pieces of shit and don’t deserve to breathe the same air the rest of us do.

“Killer and Stryker, did you see anythin’ that stuck out when you beat the fuck outta him?” Slim asks, making us all turn our attention to the two men in question.

“Not a single fuckin’ thing. He was a pussy who couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. Wore fuckin’ khakis and shit on the date and made a scene when he caught Savannah leavin’ after puttin’ money on the table for the soda she had him order for her. The bartender also said he was pretty sure he saw him slip somethin’ into her drink before headin’ over to the table. None of the cameras caught it though. So, we can add the possibility of him usin’ date rape drugs as well as bein’ a piece of shit. Stryker and I beat the fuck outta him and left him in the alley,” Killer answers, leaning back in his chair as he thinks about anything else that happened between them.

“Yeah. He wasn’t aggressive with us like he was with Savannah. Tried to pin the fuckin’ scene he was causin’ on her by sayin’ she was a difficult woman and was upset he wasn’t spoilin’ her the way she wanted. We all know that’s not how Savannah is at all. She’s the most selfless woman I’ve ever met and that’s sayin’ somethin’ with all of our ol’ ladies. To know he beat the fuck outta her makes me want to go back to that night and fuckin’ gut him instead of leavin’ him in a pool of his own blood,” Stryker adds to the conversation as we all listen. Well, I try to listen as the blood rushes through my body and that’s almost all I can focus on at the moment.

“Fox, his name is Conrad and the last name starts with an R. Savannah said he refused to give her a last name whenever she asked him. See if you can pull up anythin’ from the security footage from that day or even when she was beaten. If you can get a plate number, we’ll have his last name. I want you workin’ on this until you figure it the fuck out. Killer and Stryker will be the ones to get with if you come up with a picture of the asshole since they’ve seen him before,” Slim states as he looks around the table at each one of us. “Valor and Court, I want you two and Chrome to stay with Savannah every day. You need a break, get with me and I’ll send someone over for a while. The rest of you, I want you all out fuckin’ lookin’ every day until we find this fucker. Ask everyone you come across until we have more information on the stupid bitch. Valor, you better start workin’ now if you plan on gettin’ Savannah and the girls to leave Benton Falls with you this time.”

“I’m on it. How long are the girls stayin’ at your house?” I ask Slim as we all start to prepare to leave church.

“We’re keepin’ them for as long as needed. Shy’s gonna bring them over tomorrow to hang out with Savannah for a while,” Slim states as he looks around the table before slamming the gavel down on the table in front of him and adjourns church.

After grabbing our things, Court and I make our way back through the clubhouse and out the front door. I call the local pizza shop and place an order for delivery with everyone’s favorite pizza. Savannah never ate it a lot because of money, but she’s a simple girl and will only eat cheese pizza or pizza with chicken on it. Not that Buffalo chicken either. It has to be regular chicken and nothing else. She loves cheesy garlic bread and fried mushrooms though so I make sure to get a few orders of those. I won’t eat the mushrooms, but maybe Court and Chrome will. I also make sure to get her a soda because that’s the only time she typically has one. Said one time she couldn’t eat pizza without a soda. I have no clue why that is, but I’m not about to argue with the logic of that thought. It’s a fight I won’t win and one I’m not interested in trying to fight.

Chapter Four

Savannah

VALOR HAS BEEN up my ass for the last week since I got beaten up by Conrad in my own home. It took me losing my shit before he’d let me out of my bed so I could walk around the house and try to ease the sore muscles filling my body. He wanted me to remain in bed until all the marks faded from sight and that’s not something I can do. I hate staying in bed and have been easing off on taking the pain medicine when I don’t have to. I’d rather take over the counter medicine than the stuff that knocks me on my ass because I hate feeling so completely out of it. So, after going off on him, he finally conceded and let me out of bed. Now, when I walk anywhere, Valor follows behind me in case I fall or get dizzy. I hate it, but he’s not wrong. The first day I got out of bed, I almost fell because I was dizzy. Conrad hit my head harder than I thought he did and I almost collapsed when the hall appeared as one of those mirror houses because my vision was so blurry. It sucks, but gets better every day.

I’ve tried cleaning the house and Valor yells at me to stop and rest or he’ll carry me back into the bedroom and tie me to the bed. The first time he said that, I couldn’t help the images that flashed through my mind. Valor has more than gotten me out of my shell when it comes to sex. He made sure I liked everything he ever did to me and pushed me to break out of my comfort zone. With him, I wasn’t afraid to let go and try new things because I knew I was safe in his arms and he would never judge me for anything I wanted to try. It took way too much effort on my part to push the images aside and not think about Valor tying me to anything in the bedroom. Fucker! So, I’ve stopped trying to clean the house and let him and the girls take care of the cooking and cleaning.

The girls love having Valor back with us. They laugh, talk, and hang out with him every second of the day. I’ve heard them in the kitchen when they’re cooking and watched as Valor has danced with the girls while cooking. Things that he used to do with them before he left all those years ago. I didn’t realize how much the girls missed out on all of it until now. Seeing them let loose and act like teenage girls again is something I missed and didn’t realize it because I tried to push everything concerning Valor out of my head. By doing that, I’ve hurt my sisters and they’re the ones who paid the price for my broken heart. That’s not something I’ll let continue happening because their happiness means everything to me and I can’t take something so simple and pure from them because it reminds me too much of something, or someone, I don’t want to think about.

When I got out of bed and started moving around the house, I called Shy to bring the girls home. I want them with me because it’s my responsibility to take care of them and be there. Yeah, I appreciate everything Slim and Shy did to help me take care of the girls, but I’m well enough to get out of bed so I’m capable of taking care of them. Shy didn’t bitch or try to talk me out of them coming home. She fully supports every single thing I do and the decisions I make in my life. If there’s one person here who I trust implicitly, it’s Shy because she’s listened to me over the years and knows everything about me. The only thing she doesn’t know is why I pushed Valor away and didn’t move to Pine View with him.

Miracle, Ava, and Chloe were happy to be home. They rushed up to me and gave me the biggest hugs. Well, after I assured them they weren’t going to hurt me from a hug. Yeah, I still hurt and my ribs are going to bother me for a long time still. However, the pain is something I’ll have to deal with until the bruising goes away and it always takes forever. I’ve watched the guys over the years enough to know that it will take weeks for my ribs to heal. Right now, it’s all I can do to take a full breath without blacking out from pain. My sisters are all getting so big and I can’t believe they’re all teenagers now. In a few weeks I have to actually go get Ava her permit and she’ll be driving. I’m not ready for that shit and I think I’m going to talk to the guys about being the ones to teach her. I don’t think I can survive getting in the car with her as she learns, or be the one to teach her.

Walking out of my room, the house is quiet. It’s the quietest I’ve ever heard it since Valor walked back into our lives. Fear fills me as I walk as quickly as I can through the house in search of my sisters. No one’s inside as I go to the front door and fling it open so hard it slams against the wall. My ribs are killing me because I’m panting as the fear takes hold of me and I search frantically for my sisters. I hear them, barely, as I run off the porch and around the side of the house. Valor and the girls are washing his motorcycle. Another thing they’ve missed doing since he moved away. Ava has the hose in her hand and is pointing it at the other three. All four of them are soaking wet and I know they’ve been out here long enough to not only start washing the bike, but to play in the water.

Relief fills me as I lean against the side of the house and try to calm myself down from the fear that Conrad had gotten to my sisters starts to fade away.

“Love, are you okay?” Valor asks me, pulling me from the fog invading my mind as he rests his hands on my shoulders. “Your breathin’ is too fast and you’re covered in sweat. What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t know where the girls were. The house was too quiet and I thought . . .,” I trail off, looking up at Valor as realization hits him and he pulls me into his arms and holds me close.

For a few seconds, I let him hold me and savor the warmth and strength of his body. I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar scent of leather, oil, and something woodsy. More than likely his body wash. After a minute of letting myself get too close to Valor, I push away from him and look at the girls again. I need to see them and make sure Conrad doesn’t have them.

“He’s not gonna get to you and the girls, Love. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make sure he suffers for puttin’ a hand on you and take everythin’ from him. The girls wanted to wash the bike and it needed to be cleaned. You were still sleepin’ and I didn’t wanna wake you up. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about how you’d react if you woke up and didn’t hear us in the house,” Valor says, pain filling his voice as he looks down at me and the tears filling my eyes. “Next time, I’ll wake you up.”

“There won’t be a next time, Valor. It’s time for you to go home. I’m healed enough to take care of the girls and I don’t need you here. Take today to spend with them, and then I don’t want you here any longer. It’s too hard on everyone when you walk away. I’m the one who will have to pick up the pieces of the girls’ broken hearts when you leave again. You’ll be living your life and doing what you want with no thought of us as it’s been the last almost six years now. Besides, Annabell is more than likely gonna need you there to keep Vault in check with her pregnancy. I just found out about that last night. So, for now, I’m gonna go to the clubhouse to see Gwen and Shy. Tomorrow, you’re gone, Valor,” I state, knowing it’s the right thing to do because I can’t continue being around him and keep all of my feelings pushed down and hidden from Valor and everyone else.

“I’m not leavin’ yet, Love. I’m where I should be because you still haven’t fully healed. Your ribs are gonna take a while to heal and you know that shit. Vault knows what’s goin’ on and he understands that I won’t be home for a while yet,” Valor says as I turn to walk away from him. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.

Walking across the yard separating my house from the clubhouse, I let the sun warm my skin and take in the world around me. The sky is the brightest blue and there’s not a cloud in the sky. Birds fly through the air without a care in the world, soaring on the wind as it takes them from one destination to the next with a few flaps of their wings. I wish I could live like them and take off, letting the wind push me to my next destination and not worry about all the shit going on around me. I’ve been responsible for the girls and myself most of my life and I’m so tired. Every decision I make has to be with them in mind and it’s exhausting some days to put them before what I want to do. But, I won’t change my life because the girls are my world and I will never leave them alone to fend for themselves the way our mother did. It would just be nice to have someone to share everything with and I don’t have that. I thought I did with Valor, but he turned out to be worse.

Slim is outside when I get across the parking lot, working on his bike or something. He looks up and smiles at me.

“It’s good to see you outta the house, Savannah. How are you feelin’ today?’ he asks me, standing up and wiping his hands on a rag shoved in the back pocket of his jeans.

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