Page 80 of Bound By Words

Connecticut

It almost felt like I could breathe freely again as I looked up at Nathan. My parents didn’t even know what had happened with Tyler. I hadn’t wanted to tell them about the baby before twelve weeks, and it was weird to introduce a guy you’d sort of casually been dating and accidentally gotten pregnant with to your family. My mom knew I was dating someone, but since I hadn’t told her about the pregnancy, it was easier to forget he existed and tell her we broke up once everything fell apart.

“Can we stay like this?” he asked while his palm trailed down my back, cupping my butt as he pulled me closer.

“With your hand on my ass?” I giggled, loving how he nodded his head and his hand squeezed as his legs wrapped around mine.

“Yes. We need to stay like this from now on, with my hand glued to your ass.”

“Might make things awkward if we want to go out in public,” I laughed, kissing his chin.

“Hmmm…” his deep voice rumbled. “Guess we can detach to work, but I want you naked like this as much as possible.”

“Might be hard when I…” My voice trailed off as I ducked my face into his chest, not wanting to ruin the moment. His palm cupped the back of my head, pulling me in closer as he kissed the crown of my head.

“My turn now?” he asked again as his fingers trailed across my shoulders.

Nodding, I laid my cheek flat against his chest, listening to the low rumble of his voice as he started talking.

“My parents were happily married for twenty-one years,” he started, his voice sounding strangely bitter. “Or at least that was what they wanted everyone to think, their children included.”

A shiver ran up my spine as I heard his heart start to beat faster. “My father died in a car accident the week after my sixteenth birthday, driving the car my parents had bought for me as a belated birthday present.” He paused, exhaling roughly. “With his mistress in the passenger seat—who he’d been keeping a secret for almost two years—and a sitter back at her apartment watching my little brother.”

My eyes widened, my breath catching as he squeezed me closer to him.

“My mother had always been a little emotionally fragile,” he murmured into my hair. “But when everyone we knew learned of his dirty little secrets, she fell apart before my eyes. He killed a part of her, too, when he left my half-brother an orphan because he’d had one too many drinks at dinner. When we all thought he was working extra hours on a new job to help pay for my car.”

Oh my God. When Nathan told me he had daddy issues, I hadn’t thought this was what he was living with. I couldn’t even imagine what he’d gone through.

“My grandfather took custody of my half-brother, and my mother refused to acknowledge him. My older brother and sister returned to college shortly after the funeral, leaving me to pick up the pieces. She wouldn’t get out of bed most days. I had to practically force-feed her every day after I got home from school. The life insurance money was delayed because he’d changed my little brother to his beneficiary—instead of my mother—on all but one policy. And since he caused the accident, there was an investigation.”

His voice was choked up as he continued. “The house was paid for, but I went to work for my grandfather’s construction company to make enough money to pay the utilities when my mother lost her job because she wouldn’t get out of bed.”

“My brother and sister had to get jobs while at school, so I was often left alone, trying to keep things together. My grandfather helped as much as possible, but he had a traumatized toddler whose parents were dead to deal with.”

My lip quivered as I thought of what he’d gone through, trying to help his mother but only being a teenager left to deal with the fallout of his father’s betrayal.

“As she started to come out of the depression, she was able to get a job again, but I found myself working longer hours when I wasn’t in school, using the excuse of building skills necessary to my future profession as an excuse.”

“The truth was, she cried most days when she saw me come home, covered in sawdust or drywall, wearing the younger version of the face of the man who betrayed her.”

“When I was offered a scholarship to go to school in Boston,” he paused as he took a deep breath. “I’m ashamed to admit I accepted it and moved out of that house as soon as possible, my desperation to escape the situation clouding my judgment.”

He shook his head, his voice hoarse. I looked up and saw tears building in his eyes as his jaw clenched.

“It’s alright if you need to stop,” I whispered, combing my hand through his hair. He could tell me the rest when he was ready.

He clenched his eyes closed, a tear leaking out. “She tried to kill herself while I was out at my first college party, and I didn’t even know about it until my brother showed up in my dorm the next day while I was hung over. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I carried that guilt around for years.”

“Oh, baby,” I whispered, pulling his head down to my chest and kissing his forehead. “You’re so strong. I l…” My voice cut off before I told him something I shouldn’t, clamping my lips shut so the words didn’t escape.

“I’m not,” he shook his head. “I’m not. I left her. Like he did.”

He was quiet for a moment before he continued, his voice a little stronger.

“She was fine for a long time, taking her medications and going to all her appointments, but when my nephew was born, she relapsed, swallowing half a bottle of pills and ending up in a facility for months. She’s alright now, but…”

I couldn’t even imagine going through something like that. My parents were still happily married after nearly forty years. My childhood was idyllic and downright boring in comparison.

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