Page 79 of Bound By Words

The rules said to choose the next one, but I wasn’t known for my desire to follow directions. Quickly scanning the text, I decided on the card at the bottom of the pile, lying beside Kelly and tucking her into my side as I held it up for both of us to read. It wasn’t a standard card from the deck; Talia’s sloping script filled the lines on the card:

“Requesting Aftercare:” I read slowly, combing my fingers through her hair. “Submissive partner may request a preferred aftercare position from Dominant partner. Then share one hidden truth about self and let the Dominant partner provide aftercare.”

“Pro Tip:” Kelly’s voice carried on. “Reciprocation in communication helps build emotional intimacy in a dynamic. If comfortable, the Dominant partner can request the same.”

Neither of us said a word as she burrowed deeper into my embrace, kissing the skin on my chest a few times before reaching up to cup my cheek. “Hold me,” she requested quietly, rolling in my arms until she was facing the fireplace. I shifted closer, wrapping my arm around her waist and propping my head on my hand as she pressed herself back into me. “Can you play with my hair? I like it when you do that.”

Completely in awe of how she simultaneously submitted to me without any discussion and revealed another layer of vulnerability. I carefully drew her hair over her shoulder, softly combing my fingers through the strands as she sighed and placed her hand beneath her cheek. She was so beautifully adorable as I gazed down at her profile, enamored with how much trust she continued to put in me.

“About a year and a half ago, I met Tyler.” I tried to keep myself from tensing up at the mention of a man she was no longer with. “We’d been dating for about eight weeks when I developed a sinus infection. In the heat of the moment, while I was still on antibiotics, I thought it’d be a good idea to have sex with him without a condom.”

Clenching my jaw, I let her continue, knowing this was a vulnerable moment for her. I had a feeling this wasn’t something she shared freely with people. It worried me that she didn’t protect herself, but it wasn’t like he was a one-night stand. She’d been open with me about being safe with testing earlier, so I assumed she’d had the same conversations with him.

“A few weeks and one positive pregnancy test later, we talked about moving in together.” She paused, sighing heavily. “I know now that I wasn’t in love with him, but I did like him a lot.

“As we started looking at places to live…” An irrational flare of jealousy tore through me at her words, and my fingers paused. If things had gone differently, she could have been living with another man and have had a baby by now.

She reached up to grasp my hand, kissing my palm before she nested our fingers together. “I realized that maybe we were jumping the gun. My first appointment at eight weeks was normal, the doctor finding a heartbeat...” Her voice trailed off, and I watched as a single tear escaped the corner of her eye.

“You don’t have to tell me if it hurts you,” I whispered, pulling her closer.

“I need to,” she said quietly, her chest rising as she took a deep breath. Kelly was quiet for a moment, her eyes staring at the fireplace. “Three weeks later, I started bleeding at work.”

“Oh, sunshine,” I sighed sadly, shifting her so she faced me. “I’m so sorry.” Her face crumpled as my lips lingered on her forehead. A few tears leaked from her eyes as I loosely held her waist. She curled against my chest, burrowing her face into me as my arms tightened behind her back.

“They ran some tests, but it was too late—the baby was gone. But there was something else. My OB said the tilt of my uterus was abnormal, one of my ovaries wasn’t functioning, and she was surprised I’d even gotten pregnant.”

My fingers idly played with her hair as she talked.

“At first, Tyler was amazing, supporting me through everything, but after the second specialist told me it was unlikely I’d conceive again, he started making excuses not to see me. I spent my adult life protecting myself against unwanted pregnancy, but as soon as I thought I might want it, or at least was open to it, it was over.”

It was hard not to comment on what an asswipe this Tyler guy was for abandoning her, but I didn’t want to interrupt.

“He finally told me that we needed to cut our losses if I couldn’t give him a family. Even though we’d been dating for less than six months, I’d fooled myself into thinking we could make something work long-term. In reality, we hadn’t even met each other’s families.” She shook her head, her fingers creeping up my chest, playing with the ends of my hair. “You probably think I’m an impulsive idiot.”

“Hardly,” I laughed, tilting my head to kiss the side of her palm. “Tyler is a dumbass, but you’re not an idiot. You just got caught up in things. It’s easy to do when you’re infatuated.”

“I don’t even think I wanted kids before that,” she confessed quietly, shaking her head. “It’d never seemed important to me to start a family. I perhaps thought I might if I met the right man, but I knew my career would take a hit. I always felt selfish thinking that, but…”

“Do you want them now?” I asked after she was quiet for a few moments, my heart pounding. If she did, then I’d have to let her go. I couldn’t do that to her, dash her hopes for a family. I didn’t even know if she wanted a future with me past the next several weeks.

She was quiet, turning her face into my chest as she wrapped her calf around mine.

“No,” she sighed softly, and I felt the weight of expectations lift from between us. “Do you?”

“I don’t. I don’t plan on ever having kids.” My voice was quiet as I answered, and she didn’t respond immediately, flattening her palm over my heart.

“Can my turn be over now?” she asked with a little laugh, reaching up to wipe the corner of her eye.

Part of me felt she was still holding back, but I had to trust that she’d shared the important details with me.

“Of course. I’m so proud of you for sharing that with me. Thank you for confiding in me. My turn now?”

She looked up, cupping my cheek and rubbing her thumb through my beard. “Only if you want.”

As I stared into her eyes, I realized that, for the first time, I might be comfortable entrusting all my secrets to someone other than myself.

KELLY

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