Page 58 of Mark my Words

“Bullshit,” she shook her head as she sighed.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll wait if I don’t get one of the positions here.” I’d fucking hate it, but I’d wait. I didn’t need a fancier title and a pay raise, and a team to lead to inflating my ego or my bank account. I would succeed on my own terms and no one else’s. Not even Sam’s.

“Alright, I’m not going to force you to talk about this, but you’ve given yourself twice as much work by staying in the running for the fantasy position.”

“I don’t mind a challenge.” That part was true; while it’d be more work, I wasn’t worried about editing either manuscript. I could handle both to prove myself. If they still didn’t promote me afterward, I could reevaluate then.

“You might if I can convince Chase and Evan to do this book tour.”

Frowning, I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms. “Why does that matter to me?”

“Because PR wants more people on the ground for this promotional push, and it’s all hands on deck.”

“Isn’t that typically your job to wrangle the writers?”

“Not this time.” She shook her head, and my eyes widened. I loved the ease of working with Chase since she never complained about my edits, but I hated book tours. There was a shit ton of traveling and sometimes back-to-back events for days on end. Isobel often took a few days’ leave after returning from a busy tour. I also didn’t see how I’d be able to complete what HR expected of me with the manuscript trials if I was on the road. It could be done remotely, but I would have all kinds of other work duties to take care of on tour. That was the only drawback I saw to stepping into a higher position. With all the benefits, there were also job duties I was content with not to be responsible for in my current position.

“What about PR? Can’t they send one of their interns?”

“They’re all busy working on that new software training with Gregory Willard.” My asshole brother. Great. Even once he’d returned home, he was making my life difficult.

“Shit.”

“It’s not definite, but Adrian will probably send Sam if we can persuade Evan to go. This would allow you to show what other skills you can handle outside the office.”

“I thought Evan didn’t do events?”

“That’s why I need to convince Chase. This is coming from above Sloane. They have to do this tour. Vivid wants the press, which doesn’t hit the same with a social-media-only promotional push. We want this on everyone’s radar.”

Part of me hoped they’d refuse because I couldn’t handle trying to edit these manuscripts for the copy editor positions, managing the shit show book tours could turn into, traveling cross country and living out of hotels for weeks, and surviving being on the road with Sam for that long. I was already having a tough time keeping my feelings—and sometimes my hands—to myself when I knew it would end up crushing me when it was over.

This was exactly why I emotionally distanced myself from men. I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t need Sam.

But I wanted him despite all my efforts to keep him at a distance. He’d started thawing the frozen thing in my chest where my heart ought to be, and I couldn’t risk letting him finish the job.

“Stop giving me that look, Kristine. If they agree to this, it’s good for all of us. And you get access to a company credit card with a travel and food stipend for six weeks. That’s six weeks of getting to be outside this building. Trust me, all the headaches that can pop up on the road are worth the perks.”

“Six weeks?” That was a long time. If things between Sam and I fell apart, I’d still be forced to work with him every day for six weeks. At the office I could hide on my side of the floor. Our relationship was already strained enough, with me avoiding him over the last several weeks. I could only push him away for so long before one or both of us got hurt.

“They’ll put you up in nice hotels, too,” she winked. Like I hadn’t spent half my childhood on extravagant vacations in luxury hotels that I hated. Fuck me; this was not going to end well.

“And there isn’t any way I can get out of this?”

“Nope, I’ve got too many projects to be out of the office for that long. Sloane wants you and Sam if they agree. It’ll be a valuable experience for you both.”

The real question was, for which one of us? Because at the end of those six weeks, one of us would be left without that promotion.

Sam found me in the coffee shop down the street later that afternoon, probably when he realized I’d stood him up for our standing conference room date. I couldn’t shake this sense of anxiety that had been developing inside me since he had tried to take me out to dinner.

Was he interested, or was I convenient? Since we’d spent so much time together lately, both in and out of our clothes, I wasn’t sure what we were anymore. My insistence that we only sleep together once had been pushed aside when he’d been so damn good at it. I’d convinced myself it was purely physical initially, but now I didn’t know what was happening anymore.

“Hey, I thought I might find you here.” Sam smiled, pulling out the chair beside me and moving my bag into the seat across the table. I knew he’d done the same thing dozens of times over the last several weeks, choosing the chair closest to me whenever we were together, but the proximity made me feel a little crowded.

“Yup.” I clenched my teeth, giving him a tight smile, then returned my focus to the laptop on the table before me.

“You alright? I tried to text you about where you wanted to order lunch from today but never got a response.”

He wasn’t going to leave me alone. Didn’t he see how hard this was for me?

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