“Stop calling it a fling. It wasn’t that for me. No one saw anything.”
“But what happens when someone does? We can’t keep doing this.”
“So, where does that leave us?” She seemed to have a retort for everything, but pushing her too hard on this wouldn’t end up in my favor.
“I don’t know. And I’m not sure if I can afford to find out.”
KRISTINE
BOSTON
“Did you put those edits on the shared drive, Kristine?”
“Hmmm?” My stylus tapped absently on the corner of my tablet as I scanned through Sam’s notes in the margins of the twentieth chapter. He was slowly coaxing me to the dark side with his technology of choice. There was something about this passage that didn’t sit right with me, and I couldn’t figure out what. We’d both looked through it separately, and Isobel had made some notes as well, but I kept scanning the text for something to jump out at me.
“Hey,” Isobel’s voice rose as I glanced in her direction briefly. “I think you need to take a break. Now.”
I’d been throwing myself into edits for the last few weeks, still avoiding talking to Sam about where our thing was going. He’d tried, refusing to let me avoid him after I’d left the restaurant that night. The problem was that he was distracting me from my work. Add that to the fact that today was the day Human Resources was letting us know which candidates had been chosen to continue the interview process for the fantasy position. I was officially not myself.
It may have been horrible of me, but I was praying one of us wouldn’t be asked to continue. My competitive nature was at odds with the new feelings building inside me toward Sam, despite me throwing on the brakes. He continued being patient when I needed space and affectionate when I needed reassurance, but I didn’t know how to voice that, and I found myself drawn to him whenever we were in the same room.
It was fucking frustrating to be developing these feelings, but I couldn’t stop them. I’d never tell him, but I was almost certain I might be falling in love with him. I knew I was the one who’d initially constructed boundaries, but that bastard had wormed his way into my heart. I was turning into a lovesick fool inside my mind and a cranky bitch to everyone else with my self-imposed hiatus. It needed to stop, so I had no choice but to avoid him until I got my head together.
“I’m fine.” I waved at Isobel dismissively, my eyes running over the text again, still not knowing why I couldn’t make this passage flow.
“You are not, and if I have to restrict your privileges on the document, I will. You’ve been acting like a hormonal teenager for weeks, and I’m sick of it. What’s your problem?”
My jaw clenched as I put down the stylus, locking the tablet’s screen and crossing my arms as I looked toward her. “Fine. Happy now?”
“You’ve got to snap out of this. I expect better from you.” Her tone was curt, but I could tell by her face that Isobel was concerned about me.
“Better than what?”
“Kristine,” she sighed, standing from her desk and sitting across from me at the table in the corner of her office. “Sloane wants you in New York.”
“No.” I shook my head. We’d been over this a dozen times in the last few weeks after my first interview, and I’d told Sloane as much when I’d spoken to her.
“You still won’t consider it?”
“Do you want my honest answer?”
“Let me guess,” she laughed. “Oh, frick no.”
“Bingo.” I nodded. My response had been the same when she brought it up the day of my interview. “I do not want to live in New York, ever. I’ve been there, done that, and have the emotional baggage to carry around for the rest of my life to show for it. If there isn’t a position for me to advance here, I’ll stay where I am until there is.”
“Sloane told HR to keep you on the candidate list for the manuscript trials for both positions.”
“What? Why?” I whined. They’d told us the next part of the interview process would be editing a several-chapter manuscript excerpt for the hiring team to evaluate. All the applicants were to be given the same chapters, so it’d be a head-to-head comparison using identical material.
“Because she’s seen your work, Kristine. She knows you have an aptitude for romance and wants to see your skills compared to the other applicants. This is a huge opportunity for you. I’d hate to see you sabotage it.”
“I’m not sabotaging it.” I was so full of shit, but there was no way I’d survive going back to the city. Even if I got my own apartment on the other side of Manhattan—or braved the Bronx or Brooklyn—Mason would still find ways to insert himself into my life. He’d done it while I was at Harvard from a few hours away. If I were that accessible, he’d probably put a tail on me. Nana reading him the riot act was the only reason he’d left me relatively alone when I moved to Boston instead of returning to New York.
“Is there another reason you want to stay here? Don’t get me wrong, I love having you on my team, but this isn’t what you want to do forever. You have too much drive to stay at the bottom of the totem pole indefinitely.”
Pushing Sam’s face out of my mind, I shook my head. There wasn’t a way to keep him that I could figure out in my head. He’d either resent me for getting the job, or I’d be bitter he got the job. Or worse, if neither of us got the job, and it all fell apart anyway, or one of us left, and it didn’t work out long-distance. There was no future for us, but I was too selfish—or too damn stubborn—to stop leading him on.
“There will be other opportunities. I’ll wait for the next one if this doesn’t work out. Sometimes it’s all about timing. While I want to move up, I’ll be patient for the right position.”